[Kryslo]

Really just a curiosity...I know in times of my life, I almost wished I could be pregnant. Like whenever my bf and I break up, especially. Mostly so I could still, in some way, keep a piece of him. And I imagine how difficult a life that would be to raise a child as I am, but at times I kinda long to just be a mother. Have that as my career, you know?

And I just wondered if anyone else felt the same. Is this a normal expression from someone with BPD, or is this just me?

[Christina86]

Can't say I know anything about BPD, but I know that I realllllllllllly want to have childrens. Sometimes as a woman the hormones and stuff will just get you (in my experiences)! Hope someone else can better answer.

((((((Kryslo)))))))))))

[90mphINneutral]

I wish I was pregnant too. In fact I made a post about it in the women's forum. I am also BPD so maybe it's a BPD thing to want to have that unconditional love- I don't know. But I'm not pregnant because I think I got my period... even though it randomly stops for short periods of time. I've been trying to get pregnant for a while, but I never ovulate because I'm always on my stupid period! Ugh.

[Beth1957]

If it helps to know this... I have a child. She's almost 19 now. Despite - maybe because I went back to work part time, and she had a childminder, and the fact that she grew up in a dysfunctional family (her dad has mental health issues, although he won't acknowledge them) she has grown up to be a healthy, balanced, intelligent and sensible young woman.
She's very popular as a confidante for her friends, maybe because she has a good insight into mental health; her best friend at school suffered from paranoid schizophrenia and Katherine was the only person she trusted when in the grip of it.
S, I'd say motherhood and bpd aren't necessarily mutually exclusive; despite my fears I found it surprisingly easy to show her the unconditional love I felt I'd been denied by my own mother.

[Kendyll]

And wanting kids is NOT "universal" for BPD.
Heck - it's not even "universal" for women.

[chrise]

I have bpd and 4 kids. 4,10,13 and 15. It was easy when they were young. But as they get older i have trouble showing them love like i did when they young. I have less patients with the older ones. And try to control more. I have really good kids. So that makes me feel even worse. But i would do it all over again if i had the choice.

[ncguynva]

Here is a similar question.....my soon to be ex wife has claimed that she REALLY wanted kids when we first got married, and she promised she was going to go to school. But thats another subject....

She is claiming now that she got depressed/mad/whatever at me bc i entertained the idea of starting a family with her before her going to school and then i noticed she started acted funny. Turned out she was cheating/seeing guys behind my back. I've looked through the internet and thru this site and it looked like she had 90-95% of the symptoms of HPD. THe only one was that she didnt like to be in the spotlight with groups, but rather with guys. she would always talk to cashiers about her ex bf's and such and i told her that shes married....bfs are bfs....im your husband

im curious now if she has a combination of the two and maybe me not starting a family sparked it to full blown sorta speak

[ECHOES]

Something to explore in therapy to learn more about it.
Many women want to have a child so they will always have someone who loves them. It doesn't work that way, but that's the fantasy.
Longing for motherhood especially when you and your bf break up sounds like there is a lot about wanting to love and be loved, and not wanting to be alone, issues to resolve before taking on motherhood in order to be the mother that the child needs.
Love is wonderful and it comes in many forms

[kirsten]

Umm well im 15 and sometimes wish i was pregnant.... and some other people my age are like that....but im not sure wat BPD is so im going to look it up

[Michah]

Originally Posted by Kryslo

Really just a curiosity...I know in times of my life, I almost wished I could be pregnant. Like whenever my bf and I break up, especially. Mostly so I could still, in some way, keep a piece of him. And I imagine how difficult a life that would be to raise a child as I am, but at times I kinda long to just be a mother. Have that as my career, you know?

And I just wondered if anyone else felt the same. Is this a normal expression from someone with BPD, or is this just me?

I was diagnosed with BPD and schizoeffective disorder 15 years ago. I had my son 8 months before I was diagnosed. I was also a single mother and 21. It was terrifying. I was a terrible candidate for parenthood. I was extremely violent, irrational and had hallucinations. I was hospitalised many times over the years. All i knew was that I would hurt myself before I hurt my son and put many things in place to restrain myself if need be. I would usually feel strange before an "episode" so I had time to make sure my son was safe. He was my only reason for living but if I wanted to make his upbringing better than mine I had to get better. Break the cycle. I still struggle with loving and physical affection but I love him desperately and would protect him to the death. Thanks my beautiful boy, you have saved my life.