triggers let ex in my head

i hate having ex in my head. I broke up with this guy over 20 years ago. I hadn't thought of him in that time...then i look him up to say hi. When i heard his voice again i could't stop thinking about him. Guy had not changed much so we do not communicate. Problem is, every time i get triggered he ends up in my head! I know i probably need counseling, but can't get in for a few weeks. What i know is all this is driving me crazy! How do i cope until then...this ex was not a good guy?!

I'd say a lot depends on what he's doing in your head! You said he isn't a good guy so whatever you do ... don't contact him again.

we are no longer in contact. This guy treated me well, but did not treat others well. This was a red flag. He also told me "i generally don't discuss my feelings" which a lot of people don't, but it's a non negotiable for me. I broke up with him because i was i saw him as a non supportive, angry, demanding, spoiled, rich brat. I did not want to be bought by the highest bidder. As far as hearing his voice, suddenly i wanted to be friends. Telling him i was a lesbian was okay. Then he wanted a picture of me so i sent him one. His response..."thats you...that doesn't even look like you...you got old!". After i sent the photo he stopped calling me, emailing me. So i started calling him now and then...once i called him on a saturday night. Horrors! His response? "do you really think i sit at home on a saturday night? I was on a date when you called. Do you think it's okay to contact me five times a day?!" i contacted him no more than once a week. He reminds me of my neglectful father. I don't him in my head!

Sounds like you might need to try taking it one thought, or one hour (or half hour) at a time regarding thoughts of your ex. Break your awake time up into whatever's manageable for you to keep redirecting your thoughts away from him.

Whenever you do think of him, think of something you hate or the poison symbol or something disgusting. Then think, or better yet, DO something to take your thoughts away from him. I know this is very difficult but it's all I can think of for you to do until your appointment with a therapist.

thanks pom! Good idea about visualizing and redirecting my thoughts. I think i will use mr. Ick because he warns of poison. I sure hope i am going to be able to get rid of him in my head. I didn't like him 20 years ago, don't why i do now.