This is soooooooo hard..........

((((((((((( beads ))))))))))))

{{{{{{{{{FUZZY}}}}}}}}
always u has a hug for beads.........THANK YOU!!!!!!!

mary susan

((((((((((((Sannah))))))))))))!!!!!!!!!!!
so like we just dont get what is WRONG with how we thinks,,,,,,makes perfect sense to us~
ummmmmmm yeah we hears lotsa tapes that not just her 'dad' planted in her brain but others too........not good ones.......over & over never know tho which ones is true and which aint like dont no how ta tell the differnc.......
still has lots of flashbacks of stuff what happened too catn seem to make them cameras stop rollign oft-times neither then it just whacks us out worser then what we already is nite is worst for this especially iffen we goes to bed!

not saying that we does not need to makle lotsz changes just that i dotn unnerstand what ius WRONG wioth hows we thinks

moveing being unsettling is putting it mildly!!!!!!!!!it makes a already not safe world even more unsafe iffen that possible......plus i dunno this is like the 5th tiem we has move in teh last 2 years and REALLY dotn want to have ta do this agian for a very long time never iffn that s possible but prolly a pipe dream like so many of them types of wiwhes iffsss things go,,,
sannah we still cryign alots like at least once are twice a day either for no reason are cuz gets overwhlemed with stuff are upsets bout something whatever ,,,ctn seem ta hold a thought in her head and lose most of the conversations we has with peoples and soooooooooooooooooooooooo sick of peoples saying well yeah you have to met so & so before or i telled you such & such the other day y dont you learn how to pays attention!!!!!!!!!! we triessssssssssssss
mary susan

Mary Susan, can you tell your T that you don't understand what isn't working with the way that you think????? Yeah, tapes in your head that replay with bad messages would go on that list I think. Can you ask your T about that?

I am so sorry that you had to move! I am sorry that you are sad and upset and need to cry..... And I am sorry that people don't understand what is going on with you....

sorry ta say this but rite now weather are not we no to think rite is not important nuthing about us IS important not our thoughts not our feelings not our ideas not nuthing we is just one big nuting and beads is soooooooooooooooooo just plain sick of life rite now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the only feeling we is in touch with rite now is anger and i actually agree with stephan rite now ................he say what's the point?! he is rite there aint none thati can see
she bend over backwards and just get *****ed at so like F him !!!!!!!!!!now he go to bed p[issed off cuz we on puter let him get glad in the same pants he got mad in!!!!!!!!! dont care no more spent the hole nite fixing this and putting that up and cleaning this up and he bitcvhes cuz we ask him ta take out the trash and he cant watch his show on tv!!!!!!!!!!!!!! cry me a river!!!!!!how many other show DID he watch in full on the idiot box today grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr like we did not get to see any.............y is it all rite for men to moan and groan and take it out on us becuse they is hot, tired, sore nd stressed but we cant doi the same?!!!!!! we not even supposd to complain even alittle bit bout nuthing wish we had a tapre recorder sos he could HEAR how much he not just complain but take his frustration at life out on beads.........does he not get that we mite be in the same boat or worse does he not even care .............ever since beads can remember mens has acted liek this sorry to any of you guys that is reading this tirade i know maybe you is not ALL like yhis beads just have not had the fortune to meet any of ye all what aint i reckon...........i did not ask to be put in this world and T say we HAS to stay in it and we are for 1 reason beads aint no quitter but gggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrr i just so angry rite now i could spit cotton!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
please ye all for give us for complaining like this maybe is should delete this cuz it makes beads bad to be angry and we dont wants to be bad no more

[COLOR="Blue"]beads has calm down some since last nite..........life is too short to stay angry for very long
got gtoeceries adn all that so now we're broke ( nothing new there).
boo is settin g in she is eating, drinking, playing etc. like normal and beads VERY thankful for THAT!
beads seem to be calming down more now too like not so streesson us nomore and not so much poressure since we is out of the old apartment (which by the way the manager there said we did a beautiful job of cleaning efore we leaved so it is likey that will get all ofour deposti money back save their normal $43.00 cleaning fee,,,cant gt out of that one YAY YAY!!!!!
fell asleep sitting on the couch like 3 different times today so did not get very much unpacking done today but rome was not built in a day and it will get done when it gets done.other then our cookbooks the kitcvhen is pretty well unpacked and lined out so we maked zuchinni bread a little while ago for one of the families that helped us moved - they asked beads to make some for them so she did[. it turned out well i think. doing that helped life to seem more normal even tho it ain't yet. dont know where our new mailbox is at yet hope the manager here will tell us where it is at cuz the lease paper we seigned wiuth that ifo on it could be anywhere - there are two rooms here that are wall to wall boxes who knows how ong it will taje to get thru themn and find that folder with the paperwork in it grrrrrrrr. unfortunately we will prolly not to get to start up a bead sho like we thukwed we mite be able to since our credit is bad and we is afraid that creditors ( particularly medical bills owed) can come back on us and get the money iffen we gots a shop in her name. ah well that's the way life goes; first your money then your clothes. the art gallery tht we gots our beadwork in wants us to c ome in and demonstrate making stuff one or two day a week and they will even provide us wth a table to use. soo as soon as get beads unpacked ya know wear we is gonna be ( what a good excuse ta get outta the house and away from the **** in the garbage can when we need to). our fear of being in a new place is also starting to subside a bit.............it helps a lot that boo is back to her wonderful self sos we is feeling a bit safer
beads havew not even fallen apart today we got pissed off at you can guess who again but instead of sucking it up we gave it rite back to him........he did not like it much but phff like who gives a **** certainly not us!
at any rate ifen we offended anyone with our previous post on this thread please forgive no meanness was intended just needed to get that out. not so mad no more .. sureis gterat to have such wonderful freinds here on pc

love, hugs & teddy bears,
xxx
maryCOLOR]

((((((((((((((((( beads )))))))))))))))))

Beads, I am so happy that you have all of this good going on now!!!!!!!!

wow Sannah...........like reckon did not realize it but things is looking up a bit...........amazeing what a differecne of perspective makes!
rite now just looking forwzsrd to cooler weather (doctors has warned us about this........grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr)
me and don did get into yet another arguement this afternoon and it is all supposed to just be brushed under the rug like nuthing never happened.......well it did and it does hurteds but we is not supposed to cry!

all of us beadys

(((((Beads)))))

(((Mary Sue)))
Very, very good to stand up for yourself! I am glad you are feeling a little better!!

((((((((((((((((( beads )))))))))))))))))

Why not?????

Yeah beads, why aren't you supposed to cry? It'll help to heal you!

I'm glad to see taht there are some positive posts lurking around here! You're doing so well

((((((((((((((( beads ))))))))))))))))

cuz someone gets not happy with us an tell us to grow up when we cries.....................kinda reminds beads of some other peoples what used to get very ver very vry ngry at beads iffen her let even one tear fall.
mary sue
p.s. we is running out of room ta stuffeds

(((Beads))) You aren't alone. We understand and will hold your hand if ok.

(((((((((Fuzzy))))))))))))))
lotsa hugs for you my sweet furry-pawed freind! you always hear for beads.
Thank You!!!!!!!!
((((((((((((Manda & susan)))))))))))))
thanks so much for replying. sometimes it help just to know others IS out there!
((((((((((((TPND)))))))))))))))
i think we already anserred your & sannah questions about why not cry. just wanted ta let you know that beads knows you GET a lot of this & it is so good to have you in our corner!
(((((((((((Sannah)))))))))))))))
Now T is asking us a lot of questions about what happen whens we ALL shut down at the same time. some of them seem really stupid like "do you remember anything during that time?, and "does anyone stay out to manage things when this happens?" like dah, no & no ..........dont think he gets what EVERYONE means too good. Sannah we is very scared rite now NOwhere is safe yet maybe it is in the back of our head but not the front. Just wanting to curl back up onto that little ball For Real again.
((((((((((((Calista))))))))))))))))
yeah, beads would like that very much.........Thank You! this gets to be a lonely place sometimes

mary sue & all

So Don tells you not to cry???? Well he is as wrong as all the other people who told you that!

How are you today Beads??

heya sannah........sorry it took so long...........
silly beads for thinking nm
ummmmmm yeah he gets not happy with us when we cries with things like 'what r u gonna do now bawl about it'........methinks you gets the pictuer
dont like stuffing feeligns but it seems to still be the only th ing we can do with them most of the time.......running outta room yaknow
and tired of sucking up the pain and haveing to keep on going and do whatever is expectd of us to do no natter what it is getting harder an harder to do

Just because he says that doesn't mean that you have to listen........

ummmmmmmmmmmmm sannah this may sound very dumb question but what else can we do? if he dont want ta hear us cry then we should not rite?
walked outta T office yesterday it was not a good session..... & as beads look back new beads see maybe her was just so aggravated at life an maybe that is why got so aggravated at T too but no really sure......buddy went to the appt. and stephan floated on the ceiling... b.mary sue (he now says big mary sue is main one of us grrrrrrr all these changes) come out for a few minutes got mad too an come back inside yes this is a mess & all mixed up an outta order prolly too but thats how it is in our head sorry if hard to make it sense
beads

Hi Beads! I am sorry that you are aggravated! If Don doesn't want to hear you cry than he needs to go somewhere else! Why does he get to make your rules?

dunno...............mabye because he CAN
after all he is the one with the head that is rite ya know

Maybe because you let him? You can think for yourself Bead!