Class Announcement

Marching across Georgia?
Are you a descendant of General Tecumseh Sherman?
Are you headed to Savannah for Christmas?

Better watch out! Quick, bury the silver!
Give that woman a horse!

(((((Catherine)))))
Fed-ex man has a bottle of nail polish remover and will take the bat presently.

Rants are good for the most part. I need them sometimes to work things thru.
One thing after the other after the other is hard for sure. I'm shining my light for you to see your way thru this.... besides with the whole of the "constellation" on the march with you, it is enough light for you to see your way thru.

ranting wears a body out...

post op went all right. I am grateful.
I can drive without restrictions, going to wrap my pennies and cash them in...perhaps it will be enough for gas to the coast.
other tests are on Friday afternoon.

didn't sift through anything to realize what is really bothering me is
no control. I can say no to the tests and wonder ad nauseum about what's wrong
or have them done and know.
I'd rather know, of course.

No Control
Again
FI

IP

((((((Catherine))))))
yes, ranting wears a body out---but sometimes you just gotta do it. it's ok.
i'm really sorry for all the medical crap you are going thru....it sucks big time.
thinking about you. like you told me "you are on of our own and we won't leave you"
take a rest--put your feet up---have a double DQ favorite---listen to some or your favorite music or watch a good "our time" comedy or variety show. If you can't find any, i have a HUGE collection

You are cared for and loved

Jmo, as always

Bored...Bored...Bored
Pissing and moaning about life got old. This stuff ain't going away anytime soon, unless I drop dead but the silver lining in that is my kids will be semi-rich.
Slash and burn is my oh-no-you-don't-put this old broad in the ground. Use any body part that will help anyone in any way, then cremate the rest...my ashes will be scattered on the ocean. (Hello Seagulls!)

I have no premonition, no exit plan in place, the world is gonna have to put up with me for awhile.

In my sanctuary, aka computer/bedroom, is a certified copy of my graduation from Charm School. Since this school was not taught by penguins, no offense meant, it means I have an allowance of non-charm activities before it would be rescinded, I've used 12 by walking with barking spiders and looking innocent, and slurping a coke as I choke on that little red pepper in the General's sauce...
This copy is kept in a temperature controlled environment. It is very important to me--I won $116 dollars for completing the course.

Where the heck am I going with this ramble?

Left my Ts office after a great session
where he told me to get off my butt and do something of interest
so I did
I fell down. Broke a tooth.
Crap, I say...who put that damn tree there?
Oh, another T who wanted her potted tree watered by the rain.
The wind that brought the rain had knocked it over.
Oh good...

No tears, no moans, no bats...I started laughing.
I'm in a heap, on the ground getting soaked, and looking for the tooth--thought it could be super glued, but alas my dentist will be getting my food budget for the next week.
...and here I thought super glue glued everything
but
The whole ridiculous thing snapped me right out of my crappy mood.
T returned my check and told me to have fun...he was snickering once he knew I was all right. He was not laughing at my fall/my tooth, apparently I looked rather messy laying there with my mouth open to the rain...
All three of us were wet, and none of us would have won a wet tee shirt contest, it was silly and what I needed.
Who knew?!
Laughter, good medicine.
Not quite as good as what is in my body right now. Toothache. Pain meds as usual, added a wee bit of a kicker, you see.
***********my standard pain meds keep me at a 5-7, a new pain shoots it up to 8-9, a wee kicker lowers it ot the 5-7 range*** I do not get high on them. (Nuts!)

....tomorrow, tomorrow, the sun will come out tomorrow.
something like that
sorry I forgot the lyrics but I couldn't find my curly wig and get in the mood.

In Peace

.........my sister........

good, bad, inbetween........

I feel yaaaa with your tooth.......sometimes when I'm having a bad day,I say to myself, "I'm thankful I have all my teeth, as many times as I have been punched in the mouth".

then that makes me feel good and I laugh............

its good that one is able to make light of a bad thing.....I've been doing that my whole life.....and by no means am I laughing at you.....but I am laughing at myself.........while relating toooo........in my own little warped way...................

and inbetween that, I have to add, your writing.....the way you wrote that last post.....was sweet music to my eyes.......in relation to poetic verse......it reminded me of the style of emily dickenson.....it soothed, carressed and nurtured my heart and soul.....while staying within the confines of reality............

...............st...........

...............

((((((((((((( Catherine )))))))))))))))

((((((Catherine))))))
Ahh for the love of a tree a tooth must fall......

reminded me of some of my not so "graceful" moments which caused me to just laugh till i cried or vice-versa---does it matter??

one such time was recently when i was standing on a stone and trying not to step in the foot or so of water as i was cleaning out the pipe that runs from our spring pond (we have spring water) to our lake. my foot slipped on the stone and i slid backward and butt landed in the pond. i felt like a turtle on her back--feet and arms up in the air--no real way to get up and not about to try and turn over.....a moment of panic then just started to laugh. my dog noah, a newfoundland mix, pulled me out. needed the funny, but not the jolt to my back. it was a hot day anyway and the cold, wet butt felt pretty good

Perhaps laughter is my pony
Might just be that I need to shovel and find it

Rent an industrial size fan to blow it away
duck! here it comes
different connotation to blow
still duck, here it comes

Happy gas was fun; used both hands to hold my drink while cocking my head to one size...marvelous way to sear the back of your throat
texting at the same time--visual, yes?--and steering with my knees.
and no one thought I could multi task ! tsk, tsk...

sleepy now so a nap is in the very near future

In Peace

Ponies
Rescue Techniques
Grounding skills
All born from the same need to have some control and find relief in practicing them.

Practice is fun; it always honed my skills while I was playing soccer. I was a good team player, too...no brag, but a truth.

What if we get so lost in practicing that when the "real thing" comes along, we don't use the lessons?
Jme, at times I do all the right things and still get stuck...sometimes I think it is because there is a helluva big difference in learning and doing.
It's very easy for to get caught in a rut; leary of change yet knowing it is a need.

Earlier in this thread, I shared that I'm seeing that it is necessary for me to change some of my helpers/healers.
I won't give up my music, but I can change the songs.
Same with my books...I picked up some of Dr. Seuss's books. Light fare with whimsical creatures, far different from the ones I usually read.
Those are only two and I know there are others.

It was a no brainer to me that when I went into an even mild crisis mode, well I expected I would gracefully slide into them via auto pilot.
Worked for a long time, time now to shake up my comfy level and get it on...

What are your ponies?
Not necessarily what is learned in therapy, but what you have developed on your own...things that may sound different to others but do a grand job for you?

I'd really like to hear them. I'm being somewhat selfish in asking this...but perhaps I can add them to my list.

In Peace

I actually have been contacting some people from my past that helped me and either never knew it, or I had lost touch with them and needed to track them down to tell them how much they made a difference in my life.

For example. I had a third grade teacher who always held hands with kids at recess. I sent her a little card, thanking her for that because I have fond memories of her warm mittens. But I also told her that what she didn't know was that my house was an abusive nightmare and holding her hand in the schoolyard gave me a dose of human kindness that I wasn't getting anywhere else. It gave me hope.

She was very appreciative. She had just lost her mother and was feeling very down and out when she got my card.

I'm contacting people like that. So, the tracking down and investigating their whereabouts gets me out of my own head for awhile, and I don't have to think "I should've told that person what that one kind gesture meant to me" because I am actually doing it.

That is wonderful!
Powerful...

Looking back there were small, random acts of kindness that helped me. It's something my new T has pointed out to me...and he's right.
Sister Mary Leonard's gift to me was a love of classical music.
Father Joe helped me get into nursing school.
The only two free thinkers from the Church of Never-Ending Guilt who reached out to me.

Thank you, OB, for that reminder. There are others for me to thank...

In Peace

Oh, and another thing I am doing.

I am trying to get into scrapbooking, but with a purpose.

I'm taking old photographs of my great grandparents and their families and writing up not only who they were (I'm doing this for my niece and nephew) but I'm attaching stories that were told to me by my mother. Like how she remembered coming home from school and her grandmother would bake gingersnap cookies. Then I put the recipe on that page too.

I actually took some tatting that my grandmother had done and used it to frame a picture of her. I'm also taking pictures of things that have been handed down to me, like a pair of mourning beads from my great grandmother, and I work that in on her page so my niece will know "what" it was used for (like a sterling ribbon threader) and who it came from.

WOW OB that is great!

hmm ponies..... i saw a fur-real pony - a mechanical one in a bookd store (newage shop) wow i said how cool is that it almost looks real - the lady switched it on and says oh it only does 3 things and then it stops

oh it wont says i cos i love it and its cute (lady looks at me as if to say hmm funny farm has let them out again lol) well to her cos it neighed and turned its head towards me where ever i was in the shop and didnt stop till i said bye to it so there - ... so I guess my pony... was a pony!

shhh dont tell anyone this but i am a cuddly toy collecter.....with a slight difference.... i go to the charity shops and adopt the injured ones lol
well someon has to love them and they remind me of me lol

hmm i have candles in coloured jars - i light them and watch the lights flicker in the coloured jars and pretend i am in a magic garden - full of fairies and dragons and unicorns flowers bears and lots of other wonderful people ( and i fyou know how old i am thats why I said shhhh)

sednig light to anyone who needs it and remember phoenix light lasts forever

Catherine, OB, Phoenix---- what great ideas!!!!!

having to fre-find my pony(ies). those things i have done are now off my list--hopefully only temporary.....garden, walking in woods with dogs.....
can get back to painting, writing.....
i'm thinking that my pony is buried pretty deep right now.....but me and me little spoon will find it

white iris .. ponies tend to come out when we show love to ourselves

and as for a spoon.... mine is still here if you want to borrow it?

Thanks Phoenix----
hmmm showing love to ourselves? what a novel idea )
i am trying to do that. maybe i will find at least an ear of my pony.....

My mindset right now is that a demitasse spoon is wonderful if that is the way I have to do it.

In Peace

...wanted to add that the testing went better than I expected.

Surprisingly, I decided against self medicating to get through it.
It was strange and wonderful, and felt right...I did not panic, count to 89,001 while it was being done, or any other of my usual things.
I just did it. I wasn't particularly happy about the noise, but that is true of any type of loud noise for me. In fact the background noise, not the noise from the testing, reminded me of the Shawnee PowWow drumming. Very nice!
At one point, I drifted off--woke myself up while I was doing the putt-putt-putt/blowing spit bubbles

Perhaps I set aside some old things, tested and worn.
Allowed an okey-dokey to take the lead
and it worked.

How nice...

In Peace

thanks for the idea

and for the "big digger"

to all the class

((((( Catherine )))))

This has been on my mind on and off all day...
Do we really understand that the support and encouragement we receive here, peer to peer, is a valuable component to our healing/stability/hope? It's safe and anonymous, we make friends with those we feel comfortable with, yet we don't withhold support from anyone whenever it is needed--friend, newbie, old timer, young...for the most part we don't know race, culture, age, income level, etc. because it's not important. Hearts hurt, all of us get weary, experience fear and frustration...and that binds us together.
There is strength in numbers, I believe.

My own experience is an adjunct to my real life support system. IRL is wonderful, but I have also found that PC has been very beneficial as I travel my path of healing.
When I need support, there are a variety of replies with different suggestions, from those suggestions I can choose what has touched me. That touch may have been done with kindness, some have hurt me, others didn't make sense..but, and this is a biggie to me--there was an effort to help me, it meant that I was heard.
Don't we all need to be heard? Sometimes a reply with but two or three words or a hug can make the difference in another human being feeling worthy, deserving of attention.
Heard and Validated.
Yes, we all need to draw on some inner energy, but it makes the heartache and confusion ease when we know we reached out and that helping hand was there.

There are times when I am reading someone's post, and realize they are expressing many of my feelings.
Perhaps those who are more comfortable with lurking connect with the posts and replies, and it helps them.

It's not perfect by any means. There are sometimes harsh words, cliques, etc. but for the most part--it's good, very good.
For those with little or no support in real life, coming here and being welcomed must mean a lot.

Rambled enough for this night.
So many people just don't know how much the Internet can positively impact our lives...

In Peace

.........theres a tree.....out in the backyard.....that never has been broken by the wind........our love will last forever.......if its strong enough to bend.....................

..............................................tanya tucker...............

..................

i was lost in a storm , whirling, being thrown this way and that and i found psyche central - hands reached out to me and pulled my to safety - they sat wiht me when the road was bumpy and i sat wiht others to help them too

this place is the lifeline many of us need but cannot find irl -

rl can be a hard cold place - PC can sometimes be triggery and it can hurt
but and this is a huge but..... when the world turns cold and empty and the monsters come out form under the bed you can come here and find a willing hear to ttalk to and sometimes that means more than the whole world to me