[kimmydawn]

when ANYTHING out of the norm happens, do i think it's the end of the world or much more horrible than it is? it pulls somewhere deep inside of me and there's so much reaction that even i don't understand.

then, on things that other ppl consider awful and are freaking, and think i should be too, it's no big deal and i'm as calm as can be and become the "doer" for everyone else?

t says that's my PTSD mixed with the DID. do others with PTSD do both of those things as well. it keeps me on edge and makes me feel more the freak sometimes

be safe everyone,

kd

[(JD)]

Yes. I do. The hypervigilance of PTSD causes the catastrophizing... as well as the numbing effect of getting away when either we think it can be safe to do that, or KNOW it isn't really safe to be there. But your dissociation is obviously more noticeable due to the DID. You are not a freak... your system works more finely than the average person's, as your brain is utilizing more of it's capacity to cope.

[wanttoheal]

Copied from my journal again friend? Totally understand where you are coming from and what you are saying. It drives me crazy and makes me feel like a whiner in fact. Hope things get calm soon for you dear friend. (((((((((((kim))))))))))))))

[kimmydawn]

((((((((((((sky))))))))))))))

thank you. you always have a way of explaining things so that i don't feel so much the freak. i know you're right, too.

it's just been a hard several months...since dad died.

love ya,

kd

[kimmydawn]

((((((((((((((((wantto))))))))))))))))))))

we are too much alike, aren't we? POOR YOU!

thank you as always, friend.

love you,

kd

oh yea I fit this too. during situations involving other people ( and usually with myeslf too) they see me as the calm cool and collected one that knows exactly what to do. But they rarely see me fall apart which is what I do once the situation is taken care of. I know now that its Mary, Katherine or Ann that are the calm cool and collected ones and the falling apart after the situation has been dealt with is me comming back from my lala land and still in the emotions from when the situations first happens. people think I am freaking out over nothing because they don't realize I wasn't around during the solving of the situation.

[shadowdancer]

(((((((((kimmy)))))))))))

yep you described me too. the little things often make me unhinge while bigger things leave me completely numb. it always makes me feel like a freak too, especially since my mother is such a drama queen.

i often think, if little things get to me so much, what am i gonna do when i have to work outside of my numb shields? yikes, it's a scary prospect.

anyway, no you're not a freak at all. it's just another way of dealing with things.

-shadow

[kimmydawn]

(((((((((((((((((myself, shadow)))))))))))))))))))))

thank you so much for sharing and relating. it always helps to know that i'm not alone. this site has saved my life on that. you didn't have to come out of your "comfort zones" to share for me and i'm so thankful that you did.

please be safe,

kd

I do just the same. I solve other people's problems but fall apart if there are even small problems for me.
C

[jennie]

I think the "why" is more biological and deals with the way the traumatized person's brain has developed to survive. Some good articles are found here http://www.trauma-pages.com/articles.htm

The fight or flight response is heightened in individuals with PTSD. How does one control his/her heartrate when freaking out? Your mind will naturally feel fear when you begin sweating, hyperventilating, and heart pounds. It doesn't matter if you see later and recognize the thing that startled you is benign. Your body and mind reacts.

Oh, then there's the experienced PTSD response . . . no obvious fear response . . . go into automatic pilot and dissociate. We are sooo in control now . . . ha! No, we save this fear for another day when we can process these extreme emotions when we are able.

I have gone years without dealing with my traumas. It takes time.

kimmydawn . . . you are NOT a freak. You are human. Your responses are normal, given the abnormal experiences you have endured. ((((((((((((((((huggs)))))))))))))