[kimmydawn]

PTSD from a recent event? piling on top of the other? i mean, would it just kick my old or can i actually have two cases of PTSD?

let me explain. since my father died, i've been having PTSD symptoms regarding his horrible death. it was very traumatic to watch...his suffering and bodily things that i could never mention.

i never dream and since then have been dreaming. also, i've been having intrusive thoughts during the day and then again at nite...racing. i feel panicky and comparing my own body to his, etc. it's getting increasingly worse. i haven't mentioned it to t because i want us to stay on track. gosh, i have more than my hands full there already.

i feel like it's all too much. could this be PTSD or a form of grief that i'm not aware of that mimics PTSD?

thanks for any input.

kd

[Monty_girl]

KD I think you should talk to T about what's happening. I know that you want to stay focused on what you are working on right now. But this could derail that if it gets to bad and keeps building. Sounds like it's starting to over take things. Talk to T and see what his thoughts are. You are still grieving and everyone grieves in their own way.
(((((((((((((((((((( KD )))))))))))))))))) Love Ya, Monty

[kimmydawn]

i know i should (((((((((((((((monty)))))))))))))))))))))

the thing is...i don't know if i can HANDLE ONE MORE ISSUE IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW. like...if i ignore this it will go away. it's getting worse. i haven't had panic in years and it's coming back even. i go to bed and i see that blankety blank mask. it hurts so much and scares me. thru the day, i'll get short of breath and see that mask and his eyes. his wonderful eyes. ugh, crying again.

is part of me maybe just now realizing his death thru sharing maybe?

thank you so much. you're right. i have to talk to t.

love ya,

kd

[wanttoheal]

((((((((((((((kim))))))))))))) I understand. When husband died, similar happened to me. I think it's how some people deal with the grief. Hold tight, it gets better. Let me know if you need to talk about it. I'm here.

[kimmydawn]

thank you so much ((((((((((((((wantto))))))))))))))) it's been 4 months and feels harder than the next day. i think i was completely dissociated from it for a while and it's sinking into all the layers.

love ya,

kd

Kim,

It sounds like traumatic grief, which can co-exist with PTSD. The article linked below talks a little bit about it. It is what happened to me with each brother's death. It is very serious, scary and needs to be addressed.

http://www.tlcinstitute.org/griefandtrauma.html

Hope it helps.

Petunia

[kimmydawn]

((((((((((((((petunia)))))))))))))))) thank you. it's just getting worse and i thought it would get better with time.

i'm not the average person tho. i know i need to talk about it with t and i think he's waiting for it to hit me like it has been. he's on vaca this week though. i'm gonna have to.

thanks for the link. i'm going there now.

kd

[jmo531]

(((((((((((((Kimmy))))))))))))))))

I know it's difficult to face yet another issue. I feel like that too. everytime I turn around it is one more thing that needs to be addressed and honestly, it gets tiring, so I totally understand your hesitation to talk with T.

However, you know as well as I do, not talking about it will only make it worse. I think it is easier for us to try and ignore because that is in our nature. To push it away rather then deal with it. I do that and I know I shouldnt, it is just a natural reaction.

What you have been through is horribly traumatic and something you need to stay on top of. I know it is hard to handle right now but you are strong and you can do this. Maybe writing T a little note to explain what is going on. I know for me it is easier to express things through writing.

I wish you luck with this. I know how much this must be eating away at you.

(((((((((((((((((((((KD)))))))))))))))))))

Yes Kimmydawn there is such a thing as having PTSD for separate situations. I have PTSD from the childhood stuff and then recently I was biking from the local library on the way home. I got to the intersection and stopped. I was on the sidewalk with my bike so when the pedestrian light went on I started to cross. at the same time a woman who was at the intersection had a sign that said turn on red so she went and we both met in the middle. I got knocked down. Bike recieved more damage than I did and needed to be replaced. I had a strained muscle in my leg by my knee. That healed and when I got my check I bought a new bike. Thinking you fall off a bike you get back on it, only I found out REAL fast it wasn't going to be that easy 6 intersections between my house and the store where I bought my bike and at each one I had PTSD - flashbacks anxiety and panic attacks from the accident. now normally bike is my usual and only preferred transportatioon So I spent that whole day forcing myself on to that new bike and stopping everytime I started to experience PTSD symptoms. About 10 hours later I could ride the 20 minute bike ride to the local library without panics and so on. Basically a person can have as many episodes of PTSD symtoms as there are traumatic situations in their life. and yes it could be your way of going through the greif cycle or it could be a combo of both. Talk with your therapist and take care.

[shadowdancer]

i agree with everybody above. talking to your T is definitely important. i know you feel like you can't handle one more issue right now...the problem is that your body/mind is giving you another issue whether you want it or not.

good luck kimmy and i'm so sorry you're having to go through this.

-shadow

[kimmydawn]

((((((((((((((((jen, myself & shadow))))))))))))))))))))

i've tried to push it away. i know it's not something i can handle right now. i've been pushing so hard and for so long that it's seeping thru everywhere now.

i should've faced it then right? well, i couldn't because alot of it was dissociated away. for a week after his passing i had NO, NONE, emotion. now, it's coming out everywhere.

yes, i will have to talk with t. he had a talk with me right after dad died saying that it will start coming out and will have to be dealt with then. he knew this was going to happen because of my reaction at the time i guess. he's pretty smart, huh?

thank you all such much for your support and reinforcing that i get past my pride and fear and bite the bullet.

be safe everyone,

kd

[Gemstone]

{{{{Kimmy}}}}}

[(JD)]

I have been double traumatized with thunderstorms (initial injury, and being stuck in Hurricane Andrew.) My T had a name for it, but since they are so related, the treatment is same... just more involved...

seems the brain stores trauma in the same area... so one trauma "equals" another...? The good part is, once you train your brain how to properly respond to your trauma, it can file much of the rest of the stuff related, also.

[jennie]

kimmydawn . . . a single traumatic event can result PTSD symptoms. However, not everyone exposed to traumatic events develop PTSD. The likelihood of developing the disorder is greater when someone is exposed to multiple traumas or traumatic events early in life, especially if the trauma is long term or repeated.

If you are diagnosed with PTSD from one traumatic event, then any other traumatic event you have endured you typically will dissociate and have PTSD symptoms with also. For this reason, if you have PTSD, then you would not want to work in a job (soldier, police, fireman, EMT, physician, etc.) that may re-traumatize you again.

[jennie]

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kimmydawn said:
i should've faced it then right? well, i couldn't because alot of it was dissociated away.

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((((((huggs))))))) good insight . . . don't "should" on yourself