[Kmbpeace1171]

I was wondering when a person starts to remember and put the pieces together that the mind has always been able to hide and keep seperated but what I was wondering can the BODY have a physical reaction to a MEMORY? That is kind of what has been happening to me for the past week or more, if i lie down on the couch the memory surfaces , the images, the sensations the feelings on my body and my body actually moving in a way that feels like all of this is happening nOW, I am repeatedly reliving it and am getting exhausted from this is that how body memories are ? has anyone else gone through this too? Do i just let myself go INTO the memory and try to cope with it and do I accept this as TRUTH that I was sexually abused by Someone?

I had a few early clues that alarmed me but was "too busy" with school and work to deal with it, one being that I always felt like, even as a virgin , that I KNEW what sex looked and felt like??/.> SHOULD I TRUST THIS as a clue?

Second thing is that I ENDED every single relatinship with a man since I"ve been a teenager up til early thirties as soon as SEX and having SEX became an issue, I at that point severed ties completely and never talked to the boy or man again, and I STILL tend to do that altho I had 2 partneres in my adult life.

I am so sorry for this if it is a trigger for I am just terrified need help and answers and YES I am in therapy again, just started going again this week and sh eknows the issues I have been dealing with.

IS THIS PROOF ENOUGH ?

On the other question I wanted to ask was, if i was lying on my couch now and fantasizing about sex I would not be feelin'g physical pain and sensations that make me cry out no and stop and please dont and sobbing all from a memory, I just need to know if I should trust this as a memory?: am i considered a surv ivor? I need SOLID proof to accept this but I cant fight this much longer as the memories intensify ty for listening to a very terrified girl, alone

[Omers]

Yes, this is enough.
Yes, these are body memories
Yes, they are hell

They do pass. CBT helps IMO.
I have been through it and gotten past it for the most part.
My massage T helps me release the other memories that my body holds but my mind doesn't remember. My belief is that even if these memories don't haunt my health they will, in time cause health problems.

Here if you need us. Feel fee to PM if you need too.

[kaliope]

i do not have memories of what has happened to me, but i feel like i have experienced what you are talking about. i once did a meditation, got myself very relaxed and tried to go back to the time that caused all these difficulties for me. it was pretty scary. the sensations i got in my body. i didnt remember anything, no pictures in my head, but i felt a lot of violence taking place. i felt as if someone were inside me, brutalizing me. i dissociated. when i came back, i hurt all over. i acutally manifested bruises all over my legs. it was quit a scary experience. i still have no actually memories of being raped or molested, but a whole lot of little things add up to it. i havent had sex in like 13, 16 years, i cant remember, but when i used to, i would have panic attacks afterward.

[Kmbpeace1171]

thank you both for writing kaliope i nefver had any clear memories either just a suspicion something wasn't right Kinda wish I could be wehre I have no memoreis again

[missy658]

I've been suffering with body memories a lot the past week. I actually feel pain and like someone is touching me. The body remembers what the brain doesn't want to know.

I honor your struggle and wish you healing and strength.