[kimmydawn]

where I was physically feeling something when I discussed it...where on my body. He's never asked me something like that. I responded without analyzing...now I am...LOL. Does anybody know why, maybe, that he asked me this? Guesses?

I was talking about my little man choking so badly that I was in fear for his life when everything I was doing wasn't working and time was passing. He understood how horribly frightening it was for me, and said it frightened him reading about it.

I just wondered why he asked me that...

Interesting. Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Thanks!

KD

[Overcastbutclearing]

Interesting enough when I start having really bad thoughts in my head and they involve my abuse I can feel it in my neck both back and front.
I do think depression/anxiety can afflict us with physical symptons.

[complic8d]

kimmy- I discussed this a little in sj's question today in the depression forum. My t asks this a lot when I get upset. Anxiety/panic usually are in my chest, and cause a sharp pain. Depression/sadness are usually in my stomach, a deep gnawing feeling. Sometimes I want to run away, so my legs start jiggling. Maybe it gives them a clue as to what emotion it might be, or maybe the trigger? Good question for t!?
HUGS

My T always says-- the body remembers and if I can just become aware of what body parts get "triggered" I can work to calm their response. It won't make the body forget, just not make them respond so strongly.

I am not saying this is etched in stone, it's just what she tells me. Believe what you will.

There is a book called 'The Body Keeps the Score', by Bessel van der Kolk that is very informative on this subject.

Petunia

[Lexicon78]

Usually when I talk about things my body reacts to what I am talking about. Your body always remembers, even if you do not.

I just thought of something! When I was in partial in another town with did these emotional regulation sheets and were taught to be very aware of what our body was telling us...all the feelings we were feeling...the physical sensations in our body. Why were we taught to do that? Well, I think it was because it trained us to notice the moment when something was wrong. That way we are better able to catch ourselves before we get too upset or are thrown into a panic where we cannot control it. That way you can start calming yourself before it gets out of hand where you can't control what's happening to you. Like if you notice your heart beating more rapidly you can start doing deep breathing exercises before it gets too bad.

I hope this helps some.

My therapist asked me this for a few different reasons----
My son has asthma. I spent a majority of his life sitting up with him on my lap with his back against me feeling his his lungs gasp for air while wrapping my arms around him holding books and reading those books or playing music and singing to him, all the while trying to remain calm myself and will his medication to hurry up and kick in before he stopped breathing, while a friend was driving over to take us to the urgecare to have him nebulized.

I wasn't in therapy since having him until I became suicidal and had to sign him into foster care for a year so during it all no one asked me what I was feeling about it until then so I pretty much ignored myself while getting him treatment.

When I was finally in therapy and my therapist asked what was going on with me through it all at first I told her it didnt matter. She pushed the issue that it did matter and pushed me until I told her what was going on.

After verbally telling her what was going on I realized every time I had to hold and will my son alive I was also willing myself to stay calm and stay alive because I was experiencing sensation flashbacks of not being able to breath and so on myself from the abuse I went through and the fact that I needed to save myself by calming myself with my la la land and music years ago gave me the strenght to calm and save him in the present, and in return saved me in the present while experiencing the flashbacks by my remaining aware and consciously calming myself. It was that conscious awareness that she wanted me to tap into during therapy and in my outside therapy life. I could still use the tools that are in my la la land without entering la la land by doing those things I do and imagine in la la land while remaining aware.

[(JD)]

I agree, body memories.... it's good to realize where we are "holding" memories in our bodies (if we are) it helps the T guide us better in what might be behind the memory, and it helps us to realize that, wow.. everytime I get that particular pain (sensation, problem) I had been thinking or dealing with such and such.

It helps, imo, to become aware and eventually to not need to honor that memory that way...which is not really healthy...

What do you think?

[Rapunzel]

Thoughts and feelings and the body and even the environment are all connected. Sometimes we tend to think of them as mostly separate symptoms, and we don't recognize how one affects the other. By thinking about where you experience those feelings in your body, you gain more understanding of your feelings and how and why they affect you. There are things that you can do with that, such as learning to notice when you feel that same feeling in that same place again, and making a connection to where that feeling has come from before, and how you act when you feel it. You can use it as a cue to change your thoughts or behavior if you need to change something there. Just understanding where it comes from and how it affects you helps you to have a more complete understanding of yourself.

If you mean honor as in keeping and building that memory and feelings to the point where its upsetting constantly. I agree its not healthy.

for example Im riding on the bus every day at rush hour which is also a time when the bars start opening for business around here. So drunk people start getting on the bus bar hopping. and every time a drunk passes me I experience a panic attack. one day I finally figure out why - my abuser got me while he was drunk. So now I have the missing piece of the puzzle but every day I still get the panic attacks and body memorys. If I do nothing about this except sit there every day knowing at such and such a time these drunks are going to get on the bus and Im going to have panic attacks and memory flashbacks, and then of course I get worked up agitated even more. no thats no healthy

but if you mean honor as in recognizing that feeling everytime it happens I consider that healthy.

Same situation as above but the difference is I recognize and acknowledge this is going to happen and because I know this I can prepare myself before the ride for what I know is going to happen - take relaxation music, a notebook, maybe drawing supplies. and I make up a plan that when I recognize the feelings starting I will do this this and this. Then I get on that bus and the feelings start and I say to myself ok here we go I can feel this this and this (write it down) start the plan turn on the music watch out the window and write down any changes that I see on the passing streets, At every corner or stop check in with myself to see how I am feeling and how my plan has effected what I am experiencing in my body.

I am still honoring that memory by not ignoring it BUT I am taking care of it in the process which is a very healthy thing to do.

So it pretty much depends on what you mean by the words " honor the memory". For me just knowing like in the first situation does no good. Its the second situation that works for me. I consider the first situation the beginning and middle of memory work - figuring out the memory and trigger. and the second situation the conclusion or ending of memory work on a memory. And all of them together - knowing the trigger, memory and using coping skills solves the problem.

[(JD)]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
It helps, imo, to become aware and eventually to not need to honor that memory that way..

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> Not in that way... internalizing the memory physically... not so good.

TC

[kimmydawn]

i think i've done that my entire life. there's so much...hyperventilation, etc., that i do. neurologist asked me about PTSD (which was dx at the time) and fibromyalgia. i think it affects us more than we realize physically. well, more than i realize...

KD

[wisewoman]

PTSD affecting us medically. Okay, tightened muscles due to un-namable stress, fear, trigger. IBS, asthma, Migraine. There has been a lot written on the subject. I am trying to learn to hear my body so I can take care of it.

[CedarS]

Along with what other folks have replied so far, I've also been asked this by therapists so as to help me get back in my body. In other words, I was spaced out and dissociated while talking over a traumatic memory, by being asked to focus on resulting physical feelings, I had even more information to work with.

Maybe what I was describing was stuck and unresolved in me, when I added the information body sensations was giving me, I was more able to unlock stuff.

[hillbunnyb]

Maybe t wants you to become aware, notice stuff you're not noticing already. When I come here to PC, my body plays me like a pipe organ...... different posts hit me in different places in my body. I resonate, empathize, and have my own stuff come up for review. Just another source of information.......

[kimmydawn]

thank you so much everyone. this has really given me some food for thought.

hillbunny, i would love to have the awareness that you've achieved...someday soon. maybe y'all are right...that's what t is trying to do.

kD

[hillbunnyb]

Goodness knows, 40+ years of trying to figure myself out, I'm finally getting somewhere........ For so many years I thought I was gonna have to die to understand my life....... complicated big ol' mess. Here I am, 56 years old, and I'm finally safe enough to feel my selfs. . . I sing, "Getting to know me, gettting to know all about me....." a lot these days.