[PurpleFlyingMonkeys]

I need help of some sort. Nearly two years ago I was in a serious accident. That year I had a few near death experiences and ended up with ptsd from the accident, i guess it was my breaking point. Ive been through much worse, and a worse accident as well but the one two years ago, followed by witnessing a fatal accident a week later set ptsd in for me
Then almost 2 months ago I had a seizure in the car, wasnt driving but of course it made getting in the car even more difficult when ive been having severe anxiety for two years every time i get in the car. I start to dissociate, have anxiety attacks, the entire ride is scary for me. I dont see my pdoc until thursday for switching my anxiety meds, the meds she gave me dont work.
I get so scared in the car, start to panic and get spacey. I loose feeling in my body and start to go in a fog. Im aware this is dissociative but i dissociate because of the fear. We have to drive 7 hours tomorrow and 7 hours back sunday, court ordered to bring my daughter to spend the summer with her dad.
Any help on lessening the main trigger for my ptsd? Any ideas on how to make the ride easier? I get so afraid...

[splitimage]

Purpleflyingmonkees,

That sounds like a really tough one. I really hope that you'll be ok.

Some things that help me to ground myself when I start to dissociate, and it calms me down, is to really focus on my breathing, Take a deep breath in to the count of four, hold it to a count of four, breathe slowly out to a count of six, hold that for a count of 4. Repeat.

Plus I'm a really tactile person, so really concentrating on what i'm physically feeling / touching can again help.

Maybe put on some of your favourite movies and sing along, or find some games, to play with your daughter will help keep you distracted.

I'll be thinking about you.

Good luck.

splitimage

[AngelWolf3]

I hope that all goes well for you tomorrow...I will be thinking of you. I also am a very tactile person, so I like to plant my feet firmly on the ground while thinking of how very planted to the earth I am. I also have a special place I go to(i know sounds cliche but it works)when I close my eyes and do deep breathing where I am safe and I imagine I am hugging a big furry Malamute, which helps.

I also like the movie idea, and the games. The license plate or alphabet game would be good because you would be able to focus on the PRESENT and not dissociate. I hope this helps, because I am still new to learning how to be in the Present too; i dissociate a lot.

Something that may help, I haven't quite believed it yet, but my T keeps saying it to me and I am trying to believe it : "The pain you feel now will never be as bad as when you had it first happen to you. Yes it is still horrible and bad remembering it when it comes up, but you DID make it through and you are here now to talk about it. Just remember you made it through the first time, and you can again"

Or something like that. my hugs to you during this time

[Open Eyes]

(((Purple))),
This is just a thought but can you take a train to get to that destination? It would be something different and an adventure for your daughter.

It sounds like your bf will be driving? Then maybe you can sit in the back with your daughter and have some coloring books, some books to read to her and maybe you can also just take a nap as well. Or maybe you can plan a stop as well where you all get out of the car and go and see something like a small museum or an interesting Old fashioned Ice Cream shop along the way.

I can understand that 7 hours is a long ride and I think it would be more helpful if you found ways to break up that drive with interesting pit stops. And I think that you should also plan on staying in a nice hotel with your bf and then also plan some interesting pit stops on the way home as well on Sunday. You have been cooped up in the house a lot, so it would be good for you to make this journey more interesting instead of it all being a huge imposition.

[PurpleFlyingMonkeys]

Thank you all for such great advice. I will probably buy some new coloring books and crayons and try that in the back seat with her. Sleeping through the drive would be nice but since the accident i cant sleep in a car. My fiance and I were going into the city for my birthday and I was tired so I put the seat back and went to sleep. Woke up with him yelling my name and a tow truck headed right at us. Now i dont blame my fiance one bit for the accident but he blames himself. It was my car and he was driving and it was totaled. Apparently according to witnesses the tow truck had been swerving for miles. When we went around the turn the truck was in our lane headed right at us, both vehicles going 60mph. My fiance swerved to avoid getting hit, we ran off the road and thats when i woke up. To avoid slamming into the trees he jerked back onto the road, it had just gotten done raining to the car spun and tboned a ford explorer. We were in a 2 door hatch back. The explorer glipped 3 times and our car spun out until it finally came to a stop. My fiance did what he could to keep us alive, but i cant help but think had i not gone to sleep i would have seen it coming and told him to blow the horn to get the tow truck drivers attention.
so im now the worst at back seat driving. Im always freaking out, always pointing to stopped cars, always warning about bad drivers coming up, im a wreck in the car. And i refuse to sleep on these drives. My mom has valium 5mg and gave me about 10 over the last 11 months, i would take half of one before going in the car for longer than 10 minutes. Ive been on valium mamy times before when my anxietu spikes but my t wants to drug test me before giving me any. No doubt i will pass the test but i dont take the test until thursday.
So im taking this trip with no help from meds, just me facing my fear. I would like to take stops but every time i get in the car for a long ride my whole attitude changed. My anxiety causes me to clam up, i get so uncomfortable and nervous that it puts me in a bad mood. I get desperate for the ride to be done, so much that i get frustrated any time we have to stop. Because i just want to get there as soon as possible to feel ok again. I fill with anxiety before we even leave, and stay that way until returning home because i know i will have a long ride home too. The feeling of setting my feet on solid ground after the trip or when we reach our destination is the only relief i get. I hate this. Driving used to be my absolute favorite thing to do, get in the car and go for a long ride across country. A way to clear my mind. Now getting in the car terrifies me.
I will try distractions, they often work with other fears. Perhaps now is a good time to add a couple more positive affirmations to me list

[Open Eyes]

I am just checking in to see how your trip went Purple. I can relate to what you discribe about the anxiety going for trips in the car. I had/have the for several years since I was in a car accident myself. I do very defensive driving now and my husband gets annoyed. But I have to say my defensive driving has come in real handy many times as I always make sure that I am a good distance away from the person in front of me and I do drive slow. I have avoided several accidents in the past years that way.

Just wondering how you made out.

Open Eyes

[PurpleFlyingMonkeys]

Thank you all for your great advice. We got back home around midnight. the ride there was much more difficult. But help from everyone on here worked well. A few times i would start to dissociate but used the grounding i know and it helped. Colored with my daughter, got a couple of coloring books with activities. And i kept telling myself everything would be ok. I prayed at the beginning and just put all my nerves into my faith and made it there with no real incidents. I had to fight a few panic attacks but we made it. On the way back my mind was mostly focused on my baby. She had another 6 hour drive with her dad and they put her in the seat by the window and their son in the middle. I keep her in the middle for all car rides as its the safest so all of my worry went into her. And saddness that she was leaving for four weeks. I had a few times i would become afraid and start to panic but no dissociation on the way back. There was a line of semi trucks flying past us tail gating eachother, my fiance was already going 10 under because it was raining, but they had to have been going 90, when they passed us i told him to let off and get distance from them. Good thing because about 20 miles down the road the semis were in the ditch, had spun out and hit each other.
It helped that he was driving so well. Im glad i faced my fear to an extent, im still afraid but not as bad as before the trip. 48 hours before leaving i was having panic attacks. Now the thought just makes me un easy. All of your help really did wonders for my anxiery, thank you. And thank you open eyes for checking. Im sorry you were in an accident as well. They really are frightening. Thank you for your concerns

[AngelWolf3]

I am glad you made it through!! And glad you listened to your gut about those semis too. They always make me nervous