[Scorpio08]

Everyday for the last three years iv been suffering from PTSD n I seriously feel like my head is being bashed by ping pong balls everything is all over the place ppl I thought loved me betrayed me n abandoned me including my husband who I still resent. I have two daughters no family my mum is a controlling nasty piece of work who punishes me wen I dnt obey her I'm in therapy bt it hasn't really helped I'm so depressed everyday I was such a happy girl with so much to look forward to I threw my life away wen I got married slowly my husband gained control ova me n now I have no money no career can't even dress the way I want to can't spend coz husband gets stressed iv tried to leave my marriage bt husband won't let me uses the girls against me n iv got the mother in law from hell I'm not trying to get sympathy I'm just looking for some advice on how to change my life I feel so stuck???????

[Open Eyes]

Oh Scorpio, I am so sorry that you are struggling with so many "unsupportive" people around you. Yes, that can aggrivate the PTSD, I know, I have experienced it myself.

Ok, you have to learn how to "take advantage" of how you "do" have a roof over your head and for what you "do" have. And that is not about "giving up or giving in" only to make you aware of what you "have" and how you can "look at things differently".
And you also need to make sure you have access to people who are "supportive" and "do" understand how you struggle. Well, there are members here at PC that totally can relate and be very supportive.

It sounds like you have a "therapist" so that is a big plus and keeps you going to someone who is supportive and can help you unravel the complications that PTSD presents.

That "happy girl" is still there, but you have not learned yet how to support her and help her to find her way to "grow" past the abusive people that are in her way of coming out and enjoying herself again.

Well, I can relate to how you feel my friend and I have come forward to let you know that you "can" work towards "growing" inspite of the oppressive and controling people around you. At the very least your first goal is to establish a "safe" place of your own in that environment. It could be a small room where others cannot disturb you. And you "must" get your therapist to help you gain that respect, and a good therapist, "can" help you with that. It is crucial that you and your therapist have a goal of how to survive and feel safe "inspite" of the environment you are in right now.

You have to have support and also learn how to find your own sense of "space" so you can work on your healing. And it doesn't mean looking at the glass half empty, but instead learning how to look at it as "half full". And with PTSD that is a challenge, but you "can" slowly gain with "support".

Have you been able to attain a "private safe place in your home?".

(((Hugs))))
Open Eyes

Originally Posted by Scorpio08

Everyday for the last three years iv been suffering from PTSD n I seriously feel like my head is being bashed by ping pong balls everything is all over the place ppl I thought loved me betrayed me n abandoned me including my husband who I still resent. I have two daughters no family my mum is a controlling nasty piece of work who punishes me wen I dnt obey her I'm in therapy bt it hasn't really helped I'm so depressed everyday I was such a happy girl with so much to look forward to I threw my life away wen I got married slowly my husband gained control ova me n now I have no money no career can't even dress the way I want to can't spend coz husband gets stressed iv tried to leave my marriage bt husband won't let me uses the girls against me n iv got the mother in law from hell I'm not trying to get sympathy I'm just looking for some advice on how to change my life I feel so stuck???????

Erm, I don't mean to be rude or disrespectful here by any means, because this is nothing but just a guess from the little information you provide but... it does sound like you're in a sort of an abusive enviroment, Scorpio. That concerns me a little bit because no matter what amount of therapy or good intentions you may have, with someone constantly "controlling" you, there's no real chance for you to get a real hold of your situation (PTSD and whatnot) and make a difference about it.

I am not sure the extent of this control or push you family members/husband have got going on on you, but psychological manipulation to verbal abuse is highly detrimental for anyone, specially for someone with a PTSD diagnose. It's like giving poison to someone who is already on bedrest, or something, may not kill you but it certainly won't help at all.

In my situation I could not stay, he was indeed going to kill me eventually, so I could not stay and desperation and adrenaline works out for the best when your survival skills kick in because I went through hell to get out of the abuse. I understand there are differences, you've got kids and I don't so I didn't care about being homeless when I was, the thing is that you should know in every scenario there are options for you.

For now, I hope you'd feel comfortable enough sharing with us as much as you'd like so we can support you as much as possible. Be safe