[gotchabill]

I have never faced the trauma that i have gone thru,
and still go thur because of it and things now. i do not talk about anything like trauma in T because I can not stand looking at my self from the cornor of the room as i open my mouth to speak, but its like watching someone eles. well anyway ive started to see a new T and i feel like she will take me where i do not want to go. is talking about this stuff how T works. I would rather die then talk about it.

[shortandcute]

Yeah, trauma can be very hard to talk about. I'm really not sure what to tell you, because I think it depends on you and your T. Just my opinion of course.

[skeksi]

My T's philosophy, and I think this is true of many Ts who work with trauma, is that I have to be in control at all times. If I don't want to talk about it, we don't talk about it. But as Dr. Phil says, "how's that working for ya?" I was not happy with the effects of the trauma in my daily life, and I knew that talking about it was the way to get some relief. So we talked about it in small, manageable pieces, and if I ever got overwhelmed and said "Stop," we stopped.

I encourage you to share your concerns with your T. If she knows that you worry about being pushed, then she can be extra careful to be aware of that.

[Open Eyes]

(((gotchbill))),

The only way out is "through". I understand though that feeling of "I would rather die than talk about it". There were times when I didn't want to "talk about" things from my past either.

What I did find that helped me is I talked about the "kind" of abuse with the T first.
And when I did that, I found out the T was very familiar with that "kind" of challenge and I also heard about how unfortunately "common" it is for a therapist to work on with patients. And, I also learned "why" patients don't want to "discuss" it as well.

I think the biggest fear is "facing it" but also allowing someone else to "know it too".
Any victim feels that other people will not understand "how they had to survive" abuse.

We all develope "coping methods" when we are abused or tramatized. Some people have what may seem to be "very strange" coping mechanisms as well. However, when you do talk about it, you are going to find out how very human you are and that what you lock inside you and try to "avoid", is also part of being human. And if you can allow yourself to have the courage to look at it all and learn from it, you will begin to finally find ways to "make peace with it all". We have a name for that, "healing".

(((Hugs))))

Open Eyes