[AngelWolf3]

But I didn't want to ask a question and then it look like I was hijacking a thread...

But has it happened to you where you are trying to work through the PTSD stuff, and then you suddenly aren't "there" in the room anymore...like yesterday I had a session where we tried to approach one of my issues, and I completely lost track of time, and couldn't make eye contact, I was all uncontrollably shaky and I really didn't know who I was....(if that makes sense, I mean I was me, but it was like I didn't belong in my body?) I left feeling 'not there' and 'not me' and it took almost all night to get back.

Is this part of the 'working through it' struggle? Cause if so, I don't know if i want to go to that place again...(not T's I love her, but that place. You know.)

[Open Eyes]

It sounds like you disassociated during therapy, the losing track of time happens when dissoasociation is taking place. You may have just been heading for a part of your past that your brain is worried about getting too upset about. I have experienced this myself, yes it is troubling and you should tell the therapist about how you felt.

Trama can get storred in parts of the brain that has no language either, maybe just sounds or pictures or feelings but no vocabulary. You might have to work at this from a different approach until you can get the words together to help you with addressing whatever is there.

I had that happen in a deposition, I was asked a question and could not talk, however I did have pictures, but now words. I was disoriented too for a while and just wanted to get home.

Don't get all upset, give it time and maybe something will come forward that you can begin to put words to a little at a time.

(((Hugs)))
Open Eyes

[AngelWolf3]

Thank you so much.

[Hellion]

I hate that feeling, its just unpleasant over all, its like being somewhat attatched to 'reality' or whatever kind of confused about what exactly reality is but its the best word I can come up with. Anyways its like trying to cling to it while your mind is trying to go somewhere else and then its like being here but not here.....a lot of times I don't totally reach a state of detatchment but it can happen especially if people don't know why I am freaking out all the sudden and say anything that further triggers me out of misunderstanding.

I don't really know what to do about it but at least theres people who go through that as well since its hard to describe it to people who don't and a lot of times even if you do they aren't very understanding......venting about it can be kind of helpful but that is about all I know to do for it.

[Open Eyes]

Well, remember Hellion, PTSD, is an "anxiety disorder" and anxiety does tire out the brain. Disassociation is something everyone does, it is the brains way of taking a break actually. It isn't an "evil bad thing" that means you are crazy either. And sometimes digging through our memories of the past is tiring too, so taking it slow and easying up is sometimes helpful.

Sometimes however we are trying to remember and at the time something upsetting was happening we may have actually disassociated to self protect, that happens alot too. It is a part of how we survive sometimes, we can sort of shut down so we don't get overwhelmed with fear or emotions. The brain is pretty amazing you know, it can do things we don't understand on a conscious level to self protect.

[Hellion]

I know its an anxiety disorder...and maybe it's not an evil bad thing to disassociate but it certainly feels terrible. I also tend to worry about what could happen if I get into that state of mind its already caused problems in the past. Also, I am pretty sure I lean more towards crazy than sane or normal.

[AngelWolf3]

I know exactly what you mean., Hellion. It's like the more I try to be normal the crazier I feel.( okay so maybe that wasn't exactly what you meant, but that's what happens to me! ) and I definitely hate going to that place because it is extremely overwhelming; it's like I'm losing control and watching myself from the inside out but not being able to escape.

Open Eyes, I do like the idea of trying to slow it up a bit, I tend to try to want to get everything done all at once. ( as far as the healing process goes, it's like I think that it has to be taken care of in a month or x number of sessions, or whatever)

[Open Eyes]

Yes, I know what you mean AngelWolf, I have been like that myself. What I have learned is that first I had to see whatever was damaged in myself, or troubled that I struggled with in my past that I either avoided or developed around. Therapy is about seeing what is there first and realizing that we may not have had enough knowledge at the time to understand how to "deal" with whatever is there.

It is much like repairing a computer that has some viruses in it that can slow it down so it isn't working right somehow. Viruses have to be found and often some reprogramming has to also take place before a computer can get back on track with running better.

However, with the human brain it is a bit more challenging because unlike the computer, the brain has "emotions" that can be attached to these "viruses". It takes time to work through whatever is there and learn how to handle these "emotions and anxiety" that comes with dealing with each virus.

People "think" they are somehow "ruined" or " forever doomed" but that is simply not the case, our brains are more than capable of taking on new information and learning new skills so we can function better. It is important to make sure that while you are working on your personal issues "in therapy" that you don't "continue to program bad self messages" while you are trying to deal with whatever is there that is challenging you. Depending on what is there in each of us it takes "time" to first find it, acknowledge that is there and then slowly work on finally overcoming it in a way that is "compatable" to how the human brain "can actually heal and function better". Important to the human brain is "safety, comfort, validation, and support for healing" however, lots of patience and "self care" as well, very important.

[(JD)]

Originally Posted by AngelWolf3

But I didn't want to ask a question and then it look like I was hijacking a thread...

But has it happened to you where you are trying to work through the PTSD stuff, and then you suddenly aren't "there" in the room anymore...like yesterday I had a session where we tried to approach one of my issues, and I completely lost track of time, and couldn't make eye contact, I was all uncontrollably shaky and I really didn't know who I was....(if that makes sense, I mean I was me, but it was like I didn't belong in my body?) I left feeling 'not there' and 'not me' and it took almost all night to get back.

Is this part of the 'working through it' struggle? Cause if so, I don't know if i want to go to that place again...(not T's I love her, but that place. You know.)

Yes avoiding and numbing are common to some extent also flashbacking. It is best if we stay "present" and can learn grounding techniques to do so. You cannot do therapy without being there. From what I know if you cannot stay present in therapy you may be going too fast and trying to cover too much material . Truly going slowly gets you there faster when it comes to PTSD. (((Hugs)))

[AngelWolf3]

thank you. Looking back a week later, I realize now my T actually made us stop until I was able to get somewhat "grounded" again, and then we didn't approach the subject the rest of the session, which was good. She touched on the fact that it won't all go away with one session (I tend to be an 'overachiever' and think it will all just go away...which rationally, I know it won't...!)