[beauflow]

Feeling not heard, being flat out ignored is a trigger for me.... I realize with my childhood things happening and no one listening has a big part with this.
Unfortunately, I have this at work (still) due to people I work with. I'll admit it, I have trouble with people, however I won't put all the Blame on me with this, because some I work with it is them with issues too.
They still have strengths but some really disrespectful tenancies, as I see it. As well as I clearly see the lack of communication which is another trigger.

But today after work, I told my s/o about what was bothering me, I was actually fully honest too with him on why I was so upset today, because it reminds me I have no voice. I'm never going to be heard.

He told me something that made me feel better and chuckle a little
He said:
'it's not that you don't have a voice, because you do. It's just the others around don't have the ears to hear anything'

It got me to thinking how, that's sort of true... In some environments, some people they don't listen but yet I still put it all on me.
In other environments people do listen, maybe not all the time but at least most of the time
I, probably need a new environment where maybe others do have ears,

I just get scared,Mainly due to this was my first real job, and right out of the family I was from. I've just been surrounded by people that simply don't listen or care, refuse to work together in some aspects. I fear that the world is like this... No ears anywhere out there... But will try to keep hope.
Ears are here on PC, even if it's eyes that read

[Open Eyes]

Beauflow, maybe you could see if there is a group in your area that is learning DBT.
I have to get to that myself too. You struggle a lot with deep internal challenges of not being heard or validated and a lot of that is due to your family "dysfunction" and you have not had the right "mentor" to help you find a balance or internal guide that helps you to have a wise mind and be "less stressed" when others around you are not recognizing you in some way.

Unfortunately beauflow, we get so many "negative" messages when we are growing up in dysfunction that often we do not realize the "depth" of our confusion and stresses. I struggle with that myself, especially right now that I am trying to figure out "how" to help my parents and yet work around my extremely controlling and "dramatic" older sister.

You and I have a lot in common because we are both the "youngest" child growing up in a dysfunctional environment. Many of the challenges you have really "resonate" with me. That's why I feel that a DBT therapy group will really help you keep your inner "stresses" at bay so you can slowly develop responses where you "know" you did the "healthy" thing and that if others do not "receive you" and respect you, that is "their dysfunction" and not "yours".

((Hugs))
OE

[beauflow]

(((Open eyes )))

I'm not going to argue that a little more understanding of DBT may help, but at the same time I'm not making any excuse for the people I work with, with my coworkers it's not just me that note these things with them.

I hope that it says something about the job and not about society, but I do fear with that as well.

I've been coming more to terms of validating myself on this, there's nothing wrong with me being upset with what I've been upset with. There's good reason why I'm upset. I haven't reacted in a negative way either which is a key thing to note. (like screaming, throwing things, dinking or drugs, even binge eating I've been here lately with catching self).
Changing jobs was something ext really thought would help, I think I'm getting to a point of believing in myself more of not being used like I am right now.
Surprisingly, recently I've had a few more in real life at my job that see what's going on. My reactions are to continue, worry about me, really realizing I can't really help these others if they choose to not learn the job, to take good advice. I have tried to direct, suggest, and it is really their problem for ignoring.

It's hard to talk about my work, because sure it's easy to say it's all me . after all I I'm on PC, I admit having childhood issues. Honestly I don't see why that's a factor but it is seems to be.
At least I'm on PC and not blaming others for a drinking problem, or blaming them for going to the hospital due to an emotional beak down, Even the break downs I had at home I blamed stress and myself for not being able to handle things better.....
I have people at my work that have Blamed others, and do that, take no responsibility... I at least take some responsibility for me.I realize my coping skills could do better but an environment change could help with that as well.I already know this but sure some reason with it's scarier

Open eyes I won't lie, another fear is that it is all me, where ever I go will be in the same problem; right now, honestly I think I need to stop indulging that fear. Realize I do have some goods (and open eyes I know you support that too, with seeing our gains and goods in self)

One of the problems right now is my strange loyalty to the company, they've messed over so many, my self included but I still have this loyalty of passing on knowledge- making sure things are ok before I leave .. which won't happen. In the end as ext used to say,I do need to worry about me.
Accept the place is a mess,I cant change that and some aspects of myself shouldn't change for that's who I am, but yet it's not good for my soul with staying.

Guidance I would love, but at the same time, even with Ext, it want there- I'm not sure if other ts would be, but the money is an issue.
In the end finding that guidance within is what's needed. Trust self. Listen to self.

I'm not sure if any of this makes sense? Having trouble sleepingg today but it seems clear,, I am not changing my aspect of good work ethic, being a problem solver, and helping out, nor should i- but yet being used as I am because it's a corporation, isn't good for my mental well being.

[Open Eyes]

It makes a lot of sense beauflow, you are still "gaining" and improving and using your wise mind too.

What you experience in the failures you see in others, is actually very common. There are a lot of people out there who struggled with dysfunction growing up and part of DBT is learning how to observe, use your wise mind and gain skills on not absorbing the problems of others and begin to even self blame in some way.

You are still growing and learning too beauflow, you are young yet, but you are making up for a lot you didn't get growing up, you are a smart cookie.

OE