Hypocrisy

I've been thinking longer about this...as it is a current feeling on the site, and important I think.

It's a very difficult world, the one that is black and white.

I prefer to give ppl more allowances now than I used to when young. The more I learn about the brain and personality, the more leeway I give ppl. The more stressful the world becomes, the more acceptance I try to give.

With regards to this site especially, it would be quite easy to say that one member told lies, or was a hypocrite, when maybe they are DID or schizophrenic or maybe even "just" subject to panic attacks. There are many disorders here that could allow for someone to not "act" real in a given situation, imo.

We can't know why someone says or does something at a particular time unless they work through it and explain it to us. What is important is to not feel like we are less than human, or have been lowered in life when someone ELSE acts out or doesn't respond a certain way. Questions to ask ourselves go along the lines of: What part of their answer makes me less of a person? What about their life causes me hurt on it's own? What reaction am I having, and why?

Yes, it's not a good feeling when someone lets us down. Sometimes it's because we expect too much from others.

Okay. Someone help me understand.

Let's just say Esmeralda hated bananas. She didn't like the way they smelled or tasted.

She banished them from her house and got upset if any were around.

She didn't care that her neighbors, the monkeys, loved those little yellow fruits. They asked her to give them a chance but she had already made up her mind.

She really and truly did not like bananas, so Esmeralda climbed up on the rooftop and declared that bananas were not acceptable to her. She even wrote it in stone and put it on her front lawn for others to see.

Then one day the monkeys asked her to do a commercial selling bananas. She jumped at the chance to be on TV and put her best foot forward. She looked right into the TV screen and told the audience how wonderful bananas tasted and how much she liked their fragrant scent ...

What is this called? Lying? Hypocrisy? Innocent bluffing?

(Please excuse the poor analogy. I really don't have monkeys living next door, lol)

In Scotland we call them Lying B#?@:?@ds!

Ok. What part of that scenario changes who YOU are? Yes, the tendency is so say she's sooooooo fake. IDK Esmeralda, nor if she suffers from any disorder of the mental processes. Maybe she is someone who is very pragmatic. Maybe she has no conscience at all. Some ppl are like that. To me, the main thing is that I am not like that if I can be better. (((hugs))))

The only place where I see I have the right (command even) to speak up and judge is regarding my personal faith, and if someone who is NOT of the faith but claims to be and spreads malcontempt, then I have the duty to call them on it. Unless it were my job, my career, say Esmeralda pays me to be objective and tell her the truth, then what she says or does is my business.

What do you think?

Ok. What part of that scenario changes who YOU are?

I guess it goes back to my original post.

I'm triggered by hypocrisy. To me it is the same as lying. Lying triggers strong feelings of mistrust, anger and fear.

I feel threatened and UNSAFE. So terribly UNSAFE.

Triggers make me retreat and isolate. I feel confused. Lost. Betrayed. Taken for a fool.

((((hugs)))) I know. I didn't forget this thread is in PTSD. We are extra sensitive to the world around us...and feel it intrudes into our daily lives like an unwelcomed in law on a holiday ...

You might be totally correct in your assessment of this person, you know? It's good that you are working on your triggers. </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I feel confused. Lost. Betrayed. Taken for a fool

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Confused, yes...brain chemicals seem to run rampant in the head. Lost? well, yeah, trying to figure out what is real, what you KNOW compared to what you feel, imo.

Betrayed? A fool? Those two you can KNOW are not correct. Keep telling yourself they are incorrect assessments...and eventually the brain will register it.

Hypocrisy triggers me too if there is nothing that bothers me more i just call them out on it most of the time not necessarily right thing to do but can't help it

{{{{{ Petunia }}}}}}

Lying is also a big trigger for me. I don't know whats going on, but I hope you feel safer soon.

(((((((((((((((( Petunia )))))))))))))))))

Hoping you feel safer very soon

Love,
Furry Paws

I just relate to this so much Petunia

"I feel confused. Lost. Betrayed. Taken for a fool".



Sending healing energy your way,

(((((((((((((( All on this thread ))))))))))))))))

Am I "stealing" anything from you because I feel exactly the same way. I hope not. I WISH NO ONE had to feel this way

sigh and angry growls,

much love,
Fuzzy

If there was a smilie for "PHENOMENAL Posting", I would use it

(((( the antithesis of Esmerelda ))))

))) LMo (((

unhugs?

Take care,
Fuzzy

//38 Fuzz

Good post sky, but depending on the situation, petunia might be correct......

Not wanting to stick my fuzzy nose in if it isn't wanted...... just my thoughts

Thanks to all on this thread. It helps me feel I am not completely nuts

Oh, didn't mean to sound like my reply is the only answer. I just add to what is already said usually. Yes, we have many feelings about people and things, and if we are feeling that way, it is real...and often true. NP!

Good points.....

Take care,
Fuzzy

{{{{{{{{{{Petunia}}}}}}}}}
i have the same problem with lying and hypocrisy that you do. it makes me feel betrayed and i want to retreat from it as fast as i can. it can be so hard to know who to trust. i'm so sorry that you've had to go through this.

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Petunia said:
Noun: Hypocrisy

An expression of agreement that is not supported by real conviction.

Insincerity by virtue of pretending to have qualities or beliefs that you do not really have.

I'm triggered by hypocrisy. To me it is the same as lying. Lying triggers strong feelings of mistrust, anger and fear.

I feel threatened and UNSAFE. So terribly UNSAFE.

Triggers make me retreat and isolate. I feel confused. Lost. Betrayed. Taken for a fool.

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Me too Petunia and I am sorry you feel the same. I ran into some of this just tonight and it makes me sick

((((((((((( Purple Petals )))))))))))))

I too have come in contact with the word Hypocrite. for example there are those bloggers that I have come accross that preach unconditional acceptance of other peoples personal opinions, views and experiences but yet in their blogs put down those bloggers that do not match them and tear apart that other persons personal experiences and therapy programs.

One of the things a blogger accused me of was not accepting other peoples personal views because I shut off my comments area so that anyone that wanted to comment on my blog had to reviel their self instead of hiding behind names like anon, A, Z and Jay. I was being put down because I was now monitoring what comments got on my blog.

I recieved an email letting me know a supporter or two of my blog apparently gave the blogger a taste of their own medicine of being slammed and tore apart. (and no I do not support that kind of behavior) but when the emailer revieled the end result I could not help but laugh. for after putting me down for shutting my blog comments down to anon comments that blogger has done the same thing - shut the blogs comments area down from anon comments.

There is a couple saying that fit those that I have met on line and in real life that preach against one behavior but yet do that behavior that they are preaching against -

Do unto others as you want done to you and practice what you preach.

Hang in there Petunia you are not alone.