I think I have PTSD

I am feeling mostly numb since my mother's death last week. I think the circumstances which are causing this for me involve the medical treatment being withheld against her will. I was helpless to get anyone to listen to me try and tell them my mom wanted to be treated. I think I can't believe this was done and she is gone.

(((((((((((((((( Meta ))))))))))))))))))))

I'm so sorry for your loss...so sorry.

Yes, I believe that a person can absolutely develop Post Traumatic Stress due to the events surrounding the death of a loved one. When my father passed, I mentioned to my t that I thought I had PTSD just over his death and the horrible events surrounding it. He agreed. I'd witnessed other deaths and really had no issue. It was the events surrounding my father's death that were traumatizing.

It was something that I had to talk through as soon as I could.

I hope you're able to.

Again, I'm so sorry for your loss.

KD

Dear Meta, KD's onto it. Do you have hospice connected grief coucelors in your area? My town has great support services, of all sorts, coming out of the hospice program.

Thanks kimmydawn and hillbunny.
Actually as it was the town's Catholic hospice that determined not to treat my mom or transfer her elsewhere despite her repeated refusals to sign advance directives, I will not be contacting that organization about counseling. I already know far more about them than I want to know.
Once again I must stress to people to be careful about advance directives. They were originally intended to allow people who had terminal illnesss to decide not to prolong their suffering. In my mother's case one week after her diagnosis with cancer, when she was just having trouble keeping food and water down and needed adequate hydration and nutrition because her attempts to eat failed, the hospital and affiliated hospice, decided to deny her sustenance. Like I said before, she had just received her diagnosis of cancer, she was 220 pounds and hardly wasting away. She was robbed of her right to determine whether to continue with treatment or not. I was robbed of the final time I could have had with my mother. They incapacitated her by not feeding and hydrating her and keeping her in bed for their convenience. They stopped me from getting her out of bed in the hospital and then from taking her home from the hospice because of their "liability." My mother was euthanized and I don't think the people who did it can help me heal from the harm they did.
They also had a handout there about how food and water can only cause complications in the terminal patient. Well, yes it can, but lack of food and water will cause complications after 5 days for anyone and can even kill a healthy person, let alone a person who is in a weakened state. They are peddling quick death under the pretense of compassion.
My sister insisted my mother go to a Catholic hospice because they are pro-life. That was a joke. I have no doubt the elderly and mentallly ill are being euthanized all over our country in both religious and non religious hospices if what happened with my mother is any indication.
Right now the only thing that helps me is to point out the injustice of the actions of those who run that hospice. And while I blame myself for not getting her out of the hospice and into the wheelchair and back home where she wanted to be, I blame the doctor, hospice director and hospital social worker for denying my mother her right to treatment. My mom kept trying to eat and drink, and kept trying to get out of bed, and the hospice and hospital decided she wanted to die and then denied her treatment. She cooperated with every medical procedure to the best of her ability. And then they left her to die like an animal despite knowing what her wishes had been.

Everyone please protect yourself and families if you have them.

Thanks for letting me tell my story again.

Meta

Meta,

How horrible. I'm so sorry.

I don't know if you've thought of this in your pain, but have you thought about contacting an atty? I apologize if that question adds to your pain, but I'm aghast.

I'm just so sorry.

KD

Yes I have contacted a mental health disability law project. At this point it doesn't feel like to me that anything will help, but I am operating on the principle that if another family can avoid this trauma, my mother will not have died in vain.

Again, thanks for the support, kimmydawn

Meta