[MistressoftheDark13]

Growing up I was severely emotionally and mentally abused by my grandfather. He would tell me at 5 years old that I was a worthless fat ***** I was stupid I would never amount to anything in my life and did so my whole life. He would tell me he hated me no man would ever want me because I was fat, I mean he would just say these horrible things to me day in and day out. I began dating my children's father at 15 and he emotionally abused me saying pretty much all the same things my grandfather would tell. Almost every man I've ever had in my life has treated me that way until I got with my fiance. He is a wonderful man, we talk about everything, we talk every night before bed, we spend time together, he tells me I'm beautiful, he believes in me, and we do everything 50/50. But I feel like he suffers the consequences for all the men who ever treated me badly. Although we have a great relationship I still over think everything and its like I just wait for him to say those things the other's have and in my mind I am 100% sure he's going to hurt me like they did. I relive the emotional abuse all the time. I feel like it is a never ending cycle and I get really depressed and seclude myself from him and everyone else in my life when it happens which is pretty much daily. It's like I'm trapped inside my own head and relive the horrible things that were said to me. I've been to therapy numerous times, I've been put on so many medications and nothing really works. I just do not know what to do to get out of this mindset

[Leah123]

Here are the things that can cause PTSD:
The person was exposed to: death, threatened death, actual or threatened serious injury, or actual or threatened sexual violence, as follows: (one required)

1. Direct exposure.
2. Witnessing, in person.
3. Indirectly, by learning that a close relative or close friend was exposed to trauma. If the event involved actual or threatened death, it must have been violent or accidental.
4. Repeated or extreme indirect exposure to aversive details of the event(s), usually in the course of professional duties (e.g., first responders, collecting body parts; professionals repeatedly exposed to details of child abuse). This does not include indirect non-professional exposure through electronic media, television, movies, or pictures.

There are some other abuses and situations that can definitely lead to anxiety disorders and other mental illnesses that have some similar symptoms to PTSD. I'm sorry you are feeling stuck and haven't gotten enough help from therapy and medications. I know they can be very hit and miss, have you ever thought of trying support groups: I found them very helpful for a while. It does sound like you are in a better place now to be in a better relationship and seeing the patterns you're acting out that hurt you. Change can take time and tons of hard work, but it sounds like you're willing and the insights you have show you can find a way through the pain you're in.

[A Red Panda]

Can Mental Abuse Cause PTSD? | Ask the Therapist

It's a blog post here on psych central.

I took a Mental Health first aid course in October, where it was very clearly stated that PTSD can be diagnosed for anything if the symptoms are present and the person experienced something traumatic - an example that was used was that there are people who have been diagnosed with PTSD after watching footage of 9/11 or school shootings - people who had no family or friends or any connection to those areas or the people physically affected.

So yes. It can be caused by it. The DSM states "actual or threated serious injury". It does not state "actual or threatened PHYSICAL injury".

[Leah123]

Well, the DSM states watching footage can't cause it, actually. "This does not include indirect non-professional exposure through electronic media, television, movies, or pictures."

I read the blog, where she mentioned the importance of seeing a clinician for diagnosis, she doesn't sound like a trauma specialist though offhand: http://www.mariehartwell-walker.com/?page_id=5

Here's more in case you do want to look at the symptoms, too: http://www.ptsd.va.gov/professional/...teria_ptsd.asp

A lot of folks use the PTSD term very broadly, like a catchall, there are other anxiety disorders and such that can fit better, but certainly, the main thing is to get an understanding of what pains you, how it happened, and how to resolve it, so... I hope you find that!

[A Red Panda]

Yes, I'm well aware of that. But I find it important to include all the information I learn, including what I learn through experienced psychologists.

I find it even more important to include that fact that PTSD does not state that the abuse/injury has to be physical.

[CrimsonBlues]

Originally Posted by A Red Panda

Yes, I'm well aware of that. But I find it important to include all the information I learn, including what I learn through experienced psychologists.

I find it even more important to include that fact that PTSD does not state that the abuse/injury has to be physical.

I agree, A Red Panda. I struggle with PTSD from trauma related to physical and sexual assaults but from everything I have read about PTSD, as it is now understood, PTSD can be caused from childhood abuse-as one example. Childhood abuse can be emotional abuse and neglect as well-not "just" physical and sexual abuse. From my understanding-from all the books I have read and the many mental health professionals I have spoken with-childhood abuse can cause PTSD and childhood abuse can be or include emotional or mental abuse.

To MistressoftheDark13-I am so sorry that you were abused and treated so horribly. There are many wonderful books on the subject of PTSD, including Trauma And Recovery. These books can help explain what PTSD is and what it isn't. But reading about this stuff can also be difficult because it brings up a lot of painful stuff. I think it's very helpful to have someone you can talk to and someone who can help to support you so you can begin or continue with the healing process. Meeting with a therapist-who specializes in trauma, abuse or PTSD-might help you sort things out and help to determine if you are struggling with PTSD or something else. You can message me if you need someone to talk to. I wish you well.

[JaneC]

Mistress...I am sorry that you are having such a difficult time right now and that you have had such terrible abuse and treatment in your past. Kind hug to you.

I also agree with Red Panda and CrimsonBlues...... that it is possible to be diagnosed with PTSD from abuse or neglect that was non physical and I think it is up to the professionals to make that call. Certainly not from a quote of part of the DSM about PTSD, when there are far more factors that are listed in the DSM.

I think if you have questions, find another psychiatrist and ask directly and have them give you their professional opinion. I do hope that you can find the support you need as I can fully understand just what a difficult time this must be for you. Please take good care of yourself.

[ResaLock]

My experience is YES! I am diagnosed with PTSD and been diagnoses twice in a hospital with Acute stress as an after effect of abuse/trauma

I have been seriously injured physically many times.

Though I get triggers/flashbacks from physical traumas.

I get more triggers and traumas from emotional/mental abuse. I am triggered and had more nightmares over mental/emotional abuse than my physical abuse. As strange as it may sound. ...and I have been through some horrible abuses, even some that lasted hours to about a full day...going into more days. (I didn't know how to put that. Because it would be a couple to a few times of physical abuse in a couple to few days.

The mental/emotional abuse during that...was so much more tormenting. Because it is a direct target to your mind. I speak about and cry about more what was told to me as it keeps echoing through my mind haunting me, than I have physical abuses.

My physical abuses were pretty severe and I had many of them.

[Genesis2100]

I'm certain I suffered emotional neglect as a child and I had a rather vague flashback of a distant family member (I think I may have been sexually abused by them but my mind has locked it away). I'm going to bring all this up to my T because to some degree it might explain the array of things that are wrong with me. Whether or not I have a form of PTSD is another story.

[Open Eyes]

((MistressoftheDark)),

I am so sorry that you were treated so badly growing up. Children don't know how to react or even process when there is a presence constantly telling them they are worthless or their presence/appearance is unacceptable. Some of the top models have talked about how they were constantly picked on for being gawky looking and had no dates in high school.

Not all guys like skinny women, in fact they often say that it's like hugging a bag of bones. Jennifer Lopez became quite the sensation with her butt and that led to women going out and getting butt implants.

It is normal for a victim of emotional abuse like that to be shy and withdrawn and want to not be seen. Also to think that if one man was mean like what happened to you at such a young age, then men must be a threat or a source of rejection somehow.

But you need to think about this, often men feel the same way as you do, they fear rejection too. Your husband says to him you are beautiful and he loves you, you are waiting for him to reject you and you withdraw, but he is probably feeling that you are rejecting him and he isn't good enough. You need to understand that how you feel is a very common human emotional fear. And if you look to the so called beautiful and successful movie stars, they face different rejections and relationship failures all the time. The land of the so called beautiful people is often an unhappy environment too.

It isn't "just" outward beauty, and that is something that's subject to different tastes too. No, it is more about what is on the inside and developing a passion for life and deciding to be adventurous with life with a partner that cares more about how you care about them then if you look like some kind of model or whatever you seem to think is physically acceptable.

You need to make a decision to "grow out of that past and that person who is just one mean person".

((Hugs))
OE

[catsrhelm]

I am speaking straight from my own experience here, and my answer is yes. Why don't you try journaling for a while, then try another therapist?