[lenjan]

Sky suggested part of my current depression is a PTSD reaction to what was happening to me this time last year. I wasn't sure I agreed, but as I've calmed down I've tried to separate out what's got me in such a foul mood, and I do think that's part of it.

On this date last year, I was in the hospital, went into respiratory arrest, had to be resuscitated, and was put on a ventilator for 2 days. I went in the hospital Dec. 5 and because I admitted to some anxiety over why I was there, they classed me as a nutjob and blew off the breathing problems I clearly was having -- often in front of nurses -- as garden-variety anxiety. I overheard one nurse say to another that when she came in the room one time, I was curled up in a ball at the end of the bed and my lips were blue --- but they still blew it off as anxiety.

I don't remember a whole lot about most of the 5 weeks I was in the hospital, but the parts I do remember are not nice. My butthead primary care guy missed all this in the first place and I've always been angry with myself for not suing the jerk for malpractice for nearly killing me.

I dunno. I'm just extra ticked off today. Thanks for listening.

Candy

[Soidhonia]

Hello I am sorry you feel bad at this time. It is very painful to know that you need help and everyone does not help you. It is very depressing and isolating, to feel that you have lost trust in people that you thought would help you and you were let down by the only people that had the knowledge to help you. You must try to forgive yourself for what these people did to your mental health, and try to make sure you get help from your therapist to recover, having a near death experience is scary, and living after a traumatic event is even worse at times to recover from, due to the way you were treated in the hospital. I hope things get better for you soon, I understand your emotional issues and your disgust and fear, I hve been there myself you are not alone. I hope you feel better soon. Take care Sincerely Soidhonia

[(JD)]

Yes, ((((candy)))) those were tough times and are hard memories. I hope you give them some time today and then put them back away for a while.

Today you are much healthier! You have new opportunities, and though they are not perfect, you are progressing!

[nothemama8]

Remember it's better to be pissed off than pissed on,
let the bad memories flow into the past, do you still have time to sue?
Poopiebear, I Love ya
Angie

[lenjan]

(((((((((Angie))))))

I can't afford a lawyer, so it's a moot point. I'll just have to be content with hoping he doesn't do that kind of damage to anyone else.

You know what's funny? He's got a law degree, too. Someone asked me if that was so he could sue himself for malpractice. Maybe I should suggest that to him!

[nothemama8]

Poopiebear call Edgar J. Snyder, he's always saying they won't charge unless you win, he's an ambulance chaser

[Butterfly_Faerie]

Candy, I suffer from body memories, those are the only type of flashbacks that I have ever gotten. I still suffer from them from time to time. I still have my triggers etc, and it's a horrible feeling.... even though for me it's become less and less.

I reccomend purchasing a book that will help you better to understand them and to help you with it. I bought the book because my pdoc reccomended it and it has been helpful.

It's called: The body remembers. The psychophysiology of trauma and trauma treatment by Babette Rothschild.

If you ever want to talk more about this you know where to find me, I know all about this and I know how hard it can be. Hang in there hunny.

[wisewoman]

Hi Candy, sorry I have been a poop and haven't been here much at all. The whole body memories thing is really intense and misunderstood. I would like to read all of these books people suggest, just where is the time and will it be triggering? Just know my heart is with you and I wish you peace.