[TomRiddle]

After years of constant emotional abuse in my teen years I find I am most often "stuck" in my own mind and I suspect this is a big cause of many of my problems. Especially when I am at home where the abuse happened (my mother is on medication and is better now so it's ok). I'd like to be better able to research this for solutions. Thanks!

[Open Eyes]

Yes ((TomRiddle)), what you are describing is exactly what PTSD does. I don't doubt that your home environment triggers you either, there is a drive with people who struggle with PTSD to "avoid" any reminders, so it really must be difficult for you because how you are still living where emotional abuse took place. I have the same challenge myself and so I do understand how you struggle.

Have you reached out for therapy? It is important that you "tell your story" and talk about whatever challenges you as much as you need to so you can finally get the resolve you need. Validation is very important as well as having someone help you process all the parts you have in your brain that you need to resolve. I understand how your mother may be finally getting help, but that isn't going to change the fact that you were still traumatized and you need help for yourself too. You need to have someone else in your head helping you too. I can't express enough how important this is, because you can make gains on this challenge.

((Hugs))
OE

[TomRiddle]

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

Yes ((TomRiddle)), what you are describing is exactly what PTSD does. I don't doubt that your home environment triggers you either, there is a drive with people who struggle with PTSD to "avoid" any reminders, so it really must be difficult for you because how you are still living where emotional abuse took place. I have the same challenge myself and so I do understand how you struggle.

Have you reached out for therapy? It is important that you "tell your story" and talk about whatever challenges you as much as you need to so you can finally get the resolve you need. Validation is very important as well as having someone help you process all the parts you have in your brain that you need to resolve. I understand how your mother may be finally getting help, but that isn't going to change the fact that you were still traumatized and you need help for yourself too. You need to have someone else in your head helping you too. I can't express enough how important this is, because you can make gains on this challenge.

((Hugs))
OE

Thanks Open Eyes, I'm glad to have some confirmation I have the right idea. I am not in therapy but a couple years ago I was seeing someone weekly for several months for anxiety and depression, but no one ever called it "therapy".

Last year I was doing really well, I had opened up to my family and I remember for much of that time I felt much better and some of my "feelings" came back to me and I even worked on projects (hobbies) and felt the enjoyment in it. Then late last year school got really stressful and I stopped exercising and I shut down again and since then I've been like this again. (Not that you asked for my life story )

Is it normal that when I get stuck in my head it is like an alternate reality playing in there? Does this still sound like PTSD? Whenever I read anything about PTSD I always see things about flashbacks and I don't have any of those. In the later years my mother was always being horrible and I don't remember anything specific about any of it, I just remember that it happened.

Edit: And theres not always things playing in my mind, sometimes I'm just not completely in touch with reality.

[Open Eyes]

Oh, there is no need to apologize for giving some history here. That is what these forums are all about, venting and getting support.

Yes, what can happen with PTSD is a kind of remission and then struggling again. I can't diagnose you of course, but I can say that people who struggle with PTSD can go through what you have described, being lost in their own heads, but also being able to be in "reality" too.

It doesn't sound like you had talk therapy when you saw someone about managing stress. Talk therapy would be with someone who understands emotional or physical abuse and how that can be traumatic to someone and how that person needs to talk about it and find out with the therapist how that experience has negatively affected them and how to overcome it.

IMHO, if a child experienced some challenges with a parent growing up, the affects of that will begin to show up in the mid to late teens when the individual's self esteem is being challenged. While late teens can be stressful anyway, it can be more difficult for a teen that constantly got negative messages growing up instead of constant encouraging messages.

If you "do" reach out for help, it is very important that the person knows you have a history of abuse so they don't misdiagnose you as just another struggling teenager. Parental abuse doesn't have to be physical, it could be all verbal or emotional or being around a very unpredictable parent that a child doesn't know what the parent may do or say next. IMHO, that is often what begins the challenge with "anxiety" in many children.

I think it is important to get help, you may not have post traumatic "disorder" yet, but may be more susceptible to developing it later on. With the right therapy and support, you can get your young developing brain on a much healthier track, instead of having to figure things all out on your own, being in your own head and confused at times. You do not want to end up choosing your own methods, unhealthy method to escape your challenges either. Too many people do that and
it never bodes well for them.

((Hugs))
OE

[TomRiddle]

Thanks for your help OE, these were great responses. This is something I have been starting to suspect and I'm glad to hear my theory makes sense.

[Mysterious Flyer]

I think it's called "dissociating". You might not have PTSD. It might be dissociative disorder. PTSD is more likely to happen as a result of violence.

[Open Eyes]

Oh, you are very welcome, I am glad you found PC and the forums. I do think your suspicions are right and the fact that you are reaching out for help is also wonderful,
and "smart" too.

If you have any more questions, you are always welcome to ask, if you find you want to talk about some history, that is fine too. We are not therapists here, but many of the members have been where you are and gotten helped and have learned a lot and are very supportive.

((Supportive Hugs)))
OE