[vlhstl]

My 19 yr. old brother-in-law, Kevin, was brutally murdered 4-14-06. I also lost 6 others within 10 mos. (4 to drugs or violence) People say I'm obsessed w/death, but I can't remember anything else lately. Kevin was the worst. We were very close & he never leaves my mind. Sometimes I can't breathe, literally. I have anxiety disorder, but it's worse than that. I've been prescribed Xanax, Klonopin, & now Valium 10 mg, 3x a day. It doesn't work anymore. My Grandma just died 1-4-07. My brother says I'm obsessed w/death. What else is there to think about when that's all that has been happening? I have 4 kids and a loving husband, whose been so strong and Kev was his little brother. I'm losing touch w/ all of them though because I'm scared. I worry all the time. Does anyone have any suggestions?

[lenjan]

Wow, I'm so sorry for all your losses. I think given what you've been through lately, it's perfectly natural to be obsessed with death!

As you're finding out, meds only go so far. Do you see a therapist? Talking about it can really help. A therapist can help redirect your thoughts and help you through the grief process. He or she also might be able to recommend support groups in your area. I know there is a group for parents of murdered children, but not sure if that one extends to the whole family.

I wish you peace.

Candy

[kimmydawn]

Hi, and welcome! I'm so sorry for your losses...so sorry.

Yes, I think many would have the problems you're having right now.

I agree with Candybear that you should be in therapy as you're learning that meds only go so far. They can help ease the symptoms but not take them away.

Talk therapy can actually work through these fears you're having and give you tools to manage them better at the same time in conjunction with the meds.

Please seek out a good talk therapist who deals with PTSD/anxiety disorders.

We're here to talk with as well.

I wish you well.

KD

[Soidhonia]

Hello and welcome to Psych central. I feel that you ned to see someone so that you can carry on with your life without having to feel scared or consumed with death. A therapist can help you deal with the loss of your loved ones anf your fears that you may be having at this time. Take care Sincerely Soidhonia

[froggie2]

I had a series of deaths happen to me including the murder of an ex boyfriend and a boyfriend who commited suicide. Its interesting that the suicide death does not bother me. Because for that one I accually took a course offered through "Victims of Violence" who stayed with me while the police were informing me what had happened. It works. I was with a small group of others who were going throught the same thing. A lot of talking, sharing, crying and healing slowly over two weekends. The one thing I remember is how much it all takes out of you. You are exhausted and need to really take care of yourself. I didn't know what that meant. But over time came to realise that was to love and honour myself and not beat up myself, lots of extra sleep. Could you find a support group for something like that near you? This is a good support group here online but you might need more.

[vlhstl]

Thanks for your reply. I have a psychiatrist that I see, but have not seen a therapist yet. It's strange how you mentioned the thing about suicide. My step brother commited suicide 6 years ago. The feeling of losing him was nothing compared to losing my brother-in-law. I was angry at my step brother for abandoning us and for hurting so many people. I soon realized how he felt, because I myself attempted suicide and would have left behind two children. How selfish would that have been? I checked myself into a Therapy Center. (3rd time being in one.) I guess now I just feel blank. I have no clue what the next step to take is. I know all I have to do is pick up the phone to make an appointment, but at the end of everyday it's just another thing on my list of things left undone.

[vlhstl]

Thank you for replying and for understanding. I am a horrible procastinator. I see a psychiatrist regularly, but have yet to see a therapist even though my Dr. said I needed one too. Joining this site was my 1st step and I'm glad I did.

[vlhstl]

Thank you for your advice. You all seem so kind and caring.
Thanks.