Fear of not getting better...

Hey,

I was just wondering is anyone else is petrified of not ever recovering completely or getting better. Can we ever completely be forever free of it all?!

In Australia we are limited to 10 therapy sessions a year, if we are going through a mental health plan (we just pay the gap, which is about $40) and then after that we have to go through private health, which is a lot more expensive.

At the moment, I feel like this fear, is preventing to me from getting further with my sessions. I'm halfway, I'm coping today but that's because it's a good day. I don't know what I am going to do when I get to the end of the sessions.

Good old anxiety!! I just wanted to get it off my chest.

I hope you're all travelling well on your journeys today.

Smurfette x

Hello Smurfette77: The Skeezyks has simply accepted (more-or-less) that he is who & what he is... no significant change is sought. None is anticipated. That's all...

I used to think this too...some days are better than others but I feel like after five years I am finally in a better place. I know I will never be 100% again...but i would like to think that i'm getting closer...We all will over time!
Thanks for sharing!

I try not to worry in advance. I take it one day at a time. I know it's hard when you have anxiety, though. Medication helps me with that. Do you see a psychiatrist? Do you have any free clinics? We have some here with free counseling for those who cannot afford it.

It takes a lot of self-awareness to learn the techniques that will help you get through a single hour, let alone a day, and the discipline to keep working at it every time your anxiety gets bad. You have to constantly practice. I stopped going to therapy and taking medication because I can't afford it, I know it would help but I don't have the income. I have to rely on things that I learned on my own. Picked up a couple breathing techniques for my panic attacks, remind myself that a flashback is simply a strong memory and I'm safe now (harder than it sounds), know that a hallucination is simply that (I'm not actually seeing or hearing these things because there's no way it can be possible), keeping a written journal of the symptoms of my depression to analyze the pattern and work on it, and I make myself count the colors and the sounds of where ever I am when I don't know if I'm awake or not. All of this is still difficult for me but it's gotten so much easier than when I first started. Doing all of this is like working a muscle and the more I work, the easier it gets to practice. These things make my life manageable, not easy, but manageable.
My advice is to look for techniques that suit you and practice them every minute of every day to help you manage. Yes, I'm worried I'll never recover. Hell, I know I'll never really recover. That doesn't mean I can't make my life worth it. I can always improve other aspects of my mental health and life in general. I just have to keep working.

Good luck.

I thought that 11 years ago. I have made some huge changes in my life since then & found a wonderful therapy group (go figure...a community one). I have been able to leave that past behind & the nightmares & the depersonalization are almost non-existent. Fall weather feel can trigger some but with the passage of 11 years, moving 2100 miles away & starting a whole new life has helped immensely.

I think by hoping to get completely better is another way of denying it all. I don't know...

I think the taking one day at a time is the best way that I can 'life' right now. It's sometimes a good day and I am learning to embrace these when they come, well trying anyway.

I was meant to complete a mindfulness exercise this week, and I have found any and every excuse not to do it. I'm sabotaging myself. The idea of making myself do it, freaks me out. I read through it and came up with every way that I would either struggle with or ruin the exercise doing it. So therefore I'm anxious even thinking about it.

Thanks for your replies!

I know what you mean, and it makes me very upset that people in any country don't have enough access to help. It is so hard to keep going, and the reality of PTSD is that it is not unlike a permanent injury from a damaged body part or something. We will never be 100% free of it, but I try to think of it like wrestling a huge, vicious beast and pinning it to the ground. Some days it will pin me, but the more I try new techniques to get it to submit, the more autonomy I have. Recently, I was thinking about how being around supportive people, while not a substitute for formal therapy, can be therapeutic (if you see the difference). If you have friends or anyone you can trust, can you hang out with them, whether it's talking about what happened to you or just shelving it for a while and doing something fun? I think the more positives we can bring into our lives whether they are relationships, activities and interests, etc. can broaden our world and give perspective. Anyway, you are not alone in how you feel, and I know how impossible it feels to ride out the days or weeks when it feels like nothing will ever change, but try to look backward and notice any progress you have made, compare yourself today to an earlier time---it's so unlikely that you haven't worked through anything at all. I'm sure there is evidence, no matter how small, that you have been resilient and taken care of yourself. I'm not trying to be a Pollyanna, but can you locate any opportunities in your adversity? Sometimes there are chances to reinvent yourself or improve something in your life. It's not denial of what happened or trying to say "everything happens for a reason" (horrible expression), but more like taking back aspects of your life that have been hurt so that the person/thing/event that caused your PTSD has less power over you. Please take care, best wishes on your journey,
-Sriracha

you WILL get better but you have to keep speaking truth over yourself and over your life. Its hard and I have been in the same place as you. Focus on the good in life, focus on what keeps you motivated and understand that we all have triggers but starting to map out your healing process is a great place to start! Stay strong!

I have suffered from c-ptsd for 5 yrs and it is always in the back or front of my mind thinking I would never get better or go back to good ole days. I have been to like 10 therapists and never feel safe around any of them so I am extra afraid because I can't connect with any therapist. What is wrong with me?

It is a nightmare and can't freaking wake up.

When I think of suicide my religious upbringing comes into play and says if you kill yourself god is gona put you in a cave or crevice in a dark mountain and you will be there forever... I just can't wake up

You might not get better but you might learn how to manage your symptoms. I've had PTSD for a decade and was diagnosed with emotional stress on top of it last week.
On the other hand my friends have told me I have turned into a mature woman, I'm doing much better. My daughter's been telling me for the last two days I'm happy and she has her mom back.
I'm struggling with lightheadedness and emotional stress and PTSD. Internally things have gotten worse but externally I'm getting positive feedback.
I've gotten two jobs in the last week and taken on two service positions.

I think you just have to learn how to live with it.

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