[MtnTime2896]

That's the worst part, isn't it? This **** that goes on in your head while you sleep and even while you're wide awake; it's not just a nightmare. It's real, it really happened and it happens to a lot of other people. It could happen again. This terrible, horrific side of human nature is real. Worse, it's become normal.
They don't know what goes on inside my head, all of the damn time. If they did, they wouldn't care. I know one of them, in particular who would be proud of what he did. He'd smile and say that he'd do it again, and again.

God damn it! Why can't this **** get out of my head? I don't want to relive this ****, I don't want to see it anymore! I'm sick of seeing it, feeling it, over and over! It never ****ing stops!

I just want it to stop.

I'm sorry

[Quarter life]

PTSD brings awful memories that become ingrained in us...and yes very difficult to forget such trauma. However there are strategies like 'compartmentalisation' that can put these memories in their proper storage space in our mind...so they are not so invasive. It can be a very steep learning curve, but something you would do well to take up with a Therapist.

Be kind to yourself Só leigheas

[ThatSpaceDude]

I know the feeling. And that's exactly it. The people around me (even those who know what happened) tell me everything is okay, that nothing is going to happen but... I see it happen every day. The risk always looming overhead. Even in my sleep. I know when people tell me "it's going to be okay" they mean well, but... It already happened. It could happen again any time.

[MtnTime2896]

I found that this song helps, especially this part. Just thought you guys would like to read it and hopefully it will help you too.

"Remember the moment you know exactly where you're going 'cause the next moment you know it, time is slowing and it's frozen still. And that window sill really looks nice, right? You think twice about your life, it probably happens at night, right? Fight it, take the pain ignite it. Tie a noose around your mind enough to breathe fine and tie it to a tree. Tell it, 'You belong to me, this ain't a noose, this is a leash and I have news for you, you must obey me'." -Twenty One Pilots, Holding Onto You.

This reminds me of the saying "all real monsters are human". It's true and it's terrifying...and societies create these monsters. Once you've experienced monstrous behavior you are forever changed.

I'm sorry you are struggling.

[PumpkinPieHead]

My therapist told me to take control of the things bouncing in my head and remind myself that they are just thoughts. It works for me. I have recurring thoughts of the trauma at the most inconvenient times.

[PsychohcysP]

I totally feel you.. I had such nightmares several times.. The worst thing that I always woke up before the act and then I didn't.. And The person was replaced with one from my family I love.. And at that time I had more serious problems that I couldn't distinct reality from dreams

I've been having terrible nightmares again the past few nights....I feel so panicked and sick when waking up. I always have to leave my stuff behind in the dream. Collections and items I care about I don't have time to pack up and take with me. I'm also often "lost" in my dreams and can't find my way back to my people or safety. Nightmares really suck. I had a break from the nightmares for awhile but now they are attacking fiercely. I think my meds are making the dreams more vivid. Any meds to **** down dreaming?

[look2thesky]

Originally Posted by Só leigheas

I found that this song helps, especially this part. Just thought you guys would like to read it and hopefully it will help you too.

"Remember the moment you know exactly where you're going 'cause the next moment you know it, time is slowing and it's frozen still. And that window sill really looks nice, right? You think twice about your life, it probably happens at night, right? Fight it, take the pain ignite it. Tie a noose around your mind enough to breathe fine and tie it to a tree. Tell it, 'You belong to me, this ain't a noose, this is a leash and I have news for you, you must obey me'." -Twenty One Pilots, Holding Onto You.

I'm a huge fan of twenty one pilots.......car radio is the one that I relate to the most. thanks for the lyrics