Monday I am suppose to meet with my sister and her T.
AS I have been her support and she has lived with me since March.
My parents passed away 6 years ago, 28 days apart. I took care of them , while she was off getting high and drunk.
I was health care proxey for both. My Mom I did at home as most of you know this. My Dad was in the hospital, but I decided no tubes. Well he decided that before , I just followed his directions.
Then last year we had to take care of my father in law. Same thing.
There is not a day goes by that I do not see thier faces in my head as they passed on.
My sister was never there because she was doing coke and drinking. She was ill too. She still is but has stopped the drugs and booze.
She at times precives me as the bad person. Because I really do not know why. Only that I am hurt by this.
Any way I am not sure what to say to her T. All this brings everything back up.
Yes i am mad she was not there, yes i am mad I have to take care of her,Yes I would do all these things again.
So it leaves me I do not know where.
They say the truth will set you free, but at what cost. I hurt her, or I stay silent and keep it inside. Just venting I guess. And scared.
As always I will go in as the strong sheep. Do whats needed for her. Pray they help her.
In the mean time it leaves me still being the strong one. LOLOLOLOL
And i guess if you want the truth , lost in the field hoping I find me out there.
Forgot the important part. She does not remember when we were little. I do..............................I tell her the good parts. Keep the bad hidden.

[MyBestKids2]

((((((((((Muffy)))))))))))

I kinda had similar circumstances with my brother. He was a crack head and an alcoholic. Never worked. He lived with my kids and I. I "enabled" him, thats what my T said. Hopefully, during the session your sisters T will know what questions to ask or perhaps you can jot down a few notes beforehand. Either way, its gonna be super hard. I'll be thinking of you and keeping you close in my thoughts.


Dee

((((mybestkids2))))))))))
Ty I know it will be hard. I just do not know what to say. Or even how to answer really. I feel I am being shrunk. LOL
I know I have enabled her.
I am just afraid of i am not sure.................

[snowflake_48888]

((((((((muffy)))))))))))
Its so hard when we are dealing with family. It always seems our hearts say one thing but our minds say another. And is it fair what happens? probably not but how do we change the past? we don't...we can only change the future. You have had some pretty rough years muffy.....but you have not allowed that to affect your kind loving nature. Be proud of that!!
Snow

[heyjoe]

muffy if it were me id meet with her therapist alone first and find out where its going.

[Soidhonia]

Hello (((MUFFY))). I agree with Joe. Find out what you need to know about what is happening at the sessions if you are allowed. Try to stay truthful with yourself about the situation if at all possible, and keep yourself safe during this time. Take care. Soidhonia

(((snow and hey joe and Soid)))))))
The meeting is at 9 am monday. No time to find out, I can try to get in ahead and speak to the T.
This meeting I have a feeling is to discuss her feelings on me.
She has filled out papers for housing so she can move out. Which would be best.
But I think and I maybe wrong is for her to express what she thinks of me.
Which I know is not good. I am really hurt on what she thinks. As I have only tryed my best to help her. At times I have been upset. And she knew it.
I know besides the drugs there are big issues with her, As it is in writting. But dam I have supported her over a year now and moved her here, Still giving her money till hers kicks in,
My kids accepted her. Even when they did not know her.
Before this I only saw her at the funerals. Before that it was when i was 14.
The truth is I am tired of carrying the weight.
The truth is I am mad, she did not help me.
The truth is I feel used.
How can I say that.
I can't, it took me all day to write it.
The truth is I am scared...............

[heyjoe]

muffy insist on going in alone with her therapist before you are there together with your sister, you should find out what its about and not be sandbagged. you have the right to know what you are walking into.

ok, ty hey Joe
But i think i am being sandbaged

With time coming to day I go with her, I am very tired of carrying thier burdens. My stomach hurts. GEZZZZZZZZ

((( muffy )))

You know I totally understand.

The good news is, we don't have to carry their burdens anymore. But until we can figure out how to completely do that, we can lean on each other.

[MissCharlotte]

((((((Muffy)))))

I get this more than you know.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I hurt her, or I stay silent and keep it inside.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Instead of thinking of it as hurting her, why not think of it as taking care of yourself and empowering her.

She will be in a better position to begin to learn self care if she is not living with you. It's okay to take care of you and your family too right now.

(((((((hugs))))))))

take care. 22 too

[katheryn]

((((((((((((((((((((muffy))))))))))))))))))))

i said we will be there with you holding your hand you are a brave sheep, somethings need to be said, allso you have the right to be angry that your sister did nothing to help with your parents, and maybe its time your sister was told about the bad times during child hood
(((((((((((((((((muffy and family)))))))))))))))))))))

thanks to all of you I went in there strong> Shaking on the inside. Stuck to my guns. WHich is really hard for me. As I never want to hurt anyone. But said it the way it was. I was lucky the T I guess had a feeling how it really was.
You guys helped me so much. TY.............
This was one of the hardest things I had to do.............ty

[chalmette70043]

(((((((((((Muffy)))))))))))))))

i wish i could give you more support right now. I'm glad you are doing well today and the meeting is over.

(((( muffy ))))

You done good.

((((((muffy))))))

way to go sweetie

love to you, Jinxoxoxoxoxo

before I left the office ,I decided to leave the burdens of my parents there. I decided it was to heavy to carry anymore for me. Sounds silly. But I left them there............If my sister chooses to carry it on with her its her choice.
For once in my live I do not see thier faces anymore as they passed on.I am sure every now and then it will come back. But for now I have left it behind me.
Once again TY Petunia, hey Joe, trm , and kathy,snow. As they knew I was so scared. If I forgot anyone ty

[TYMBERWOLV]

u cannot forget lil ol tymber gonna get u a wrist band for ya that states

WWTS= what would tymber say

lol proud of ya my friend keep of the work and stay strong that all we can ever ask from each other. If you stumble we can pick u up. If we stumble just kick us a few times and laugh cos it is only funny when someone gets hurt then its fooking hilarious

Tymber

Its never funny when anyones hurt.