[(JD)]

well... that says it all in a word. What with my PTSD and ongoing battles with my own attorney, and trying to get help, and now I've added in checks into my bank account more than once and don't have it in the account, and the felon that threatened me and and and my fear level is off the scale!!!

Usually at this point I want to run away. (Most of us feel this way, I think) and I had plans to already... since they had scheduled a hearing and such for next week or two and it was sham so I made them cancel it and said I would be out of town....

so now all I really have to do is try not to allow all this anxiety get to me, all this fear of double checking my mirrors, my firearm, my doors, my alarms, my outside lights... my mail, my phone, my computer no less!....

and try to wait till I can run away for a while next week.... rats,,, if they have my phone tapped, now they know about that too....

my T assures me that nothing I am facing is new, that I have faced these issues before and came through.. but my ptsd won't allow me to see it at least not today

it is truly a bad fear day.

<font color=blue> meditation is a true way to connect to the Source </font color=blue>

[krzyk101]

Dear SkyBdark,

I am sorry to here that your level of fear is so severe today. I truely do know how it feels to live in such levels of fear.

Please don't give up and let the fear consume you. I have fear alot with anxiety and panic. Seems at times when sitting in daylight out front on my building in broad daylight I find myself looking over my shoulder so much it becomes embarassing.

I am glad that you have a good relationship with your T and it sounds like they know you well, and help. I have recieved alot of good advice to your reply's to others and it has helped me. Seems at times I even fear what is not there, as at times I read posts sitting here at my computer and if the topic becomes upsetting for me I pull my terry cloth house robe up and wrap it around my face, covering it up. I guess it is almost like running away or hiding for a minute or too.

I do hope you get to feeling better. I really do mean the best, wish you the best. I really do sincerly mean well, even if this post doesn't sound right. I do hope that it does get better. Take care, Chris

______________
~KRIS~

If you think you have totally gave up, you haven't, because you are here!