Progress? No sense of it.

I have many questions of myself... and often second guess myself and where I'm at...

This PTSD is mine. I mean, it affects each person differently : different levels, different triggers, etc

Mine comes from an injury/industrial accident that should have killed me and I often wish it had. But does that make it so it's more difficult?

John said in chat tonight that some ppl get cured, some learn to live with it and some don't do either. Hmmmm... not sure why I am taking what he answered to heart...

maybe I wanted a different answer because I don't know anyone IRL who has been cured of PTSD.

Part of my problem is it ISN'T over... the problem of the triggers with the abuse of authority figures continues because of the insurance company and the opposing attorney constantly hovering and ignoring my needs... and I have to live without things that could help me live more normally.

Even today my T had to practically demonstrate how far I've come... but his example of how I would have handled a recent issue.. the comparison was of 6 years ago and today.

Six years is a long time to be able to almost handle a situation correctly. And when I think I have been in therapy for 15 years (yeah, ok I could barely walk and talk, and had no pain meds and and and...) ... it just doesn't feel like progress.

I'm sure there are plenty of ppl here who probably wonder, like I do, why I'm not cured yet. I used to dream there's a life out there for me, something...

when I planned on a life "in" therapy... this wasn't the way I had planned.

<font color=green> ...slip sliding away... slip sliding away....