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#1
Feb 20, 2008, 06:22 PM
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I am fine when I have distractions from my PTSD, but when I don't I feel the world coming down on me. I want to hide. I have T tomorrow and last session was amazing, but I am feeling uneasy with a sick feeling about going tomorrow. I don't want to face the terror, the truth, my childhood but I can't pretend any longer. I feel so torn from re surpressing the memories or letting them cry all over myself tomorrow. I am afraid of losing myself tomorrow. But yet I feel myself needing my T, like he will reground me this week. I don't know I just don't like this feeling.
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#2
Feb 21, 2008, 05:57 AM
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> I just don't like this feeling.
Tell T. I think it is important that you both should pay attention to it.
__________________
Now if thou would'st When all have given him o'er From death to life Thou might'st him yet recover -- Michael Drayton 1562 - 1631 |
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#3
Feb 22, 2008, 03:20 PM
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Hey happy. I know that feeling. It's like knowing you're getting a root canal tomorrow.
For me, it was anxiety over having to let my guard down. I spend a lot of time and energy on maintaining composure and therapy requires that I remove that mask. Talk about counter intuitive! So if that's what you're going through, I'd say it's natural, it makes sense, and it gets better. Be safe. Cyran0
__________________
My blog: http://cyran0.psychcentral.net/ Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, PTSD (childhood physical/sexual abuse), history of drug abuse. Meds: Zoloft, Lorazapam, Coffee, Cigarettes "I may climb perhaps to no great heights, but I will climb alone." -Cyrano de Bergerac |
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#4
Feb 25, 2008, 07:27 PM
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I sure know how that feels.Let your T know what you are experiencing. I've gone through this myself and probably will again. Things did get easier for me eventually.
Big hugs to you and best wishes.
__________________
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#5
Feb 25, 2008, 09:35 PM
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Okay I just realized I didn't respond back to anyone. I did tell my T like suggested and he seemed concerned, he didn't want such a big buildup of that feeling before coming in maybe because it makes PTSD even worse. I don' t know. Last week he decided to keep it lighter, well it did get heavy though.
Yeah, Cyrano, it is like going in for a root canal, well what I think it would feel like, I haven't ever had one, but getting a back filling done is bad enough. I am not doing well, I called to see if he had a sooner appointment this week before Thurs. but he doesn't . I am so freaking depressed and full of anxiety. I couldn't do my speech today for class, and I will probably have to drop the class because he isn't allowing any make up speeches. This whole onset is messing me up big time. I am an A student and grades are important to me to get into grad school, but I just am struggling right now. I just hate this feeling. |
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#6
Mar 02, 2008, 12:12 PM
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I feel uneasy a lot, dont fret a lot of us do.
__________________
Do not stand at my grave and weep; I am not there. I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow. I am the diamond glints on snow. I am the sunlight on ripened grain. I am the gentle autumn's rain. When you awaken in the morning's hush, I am the swift uplifting rush of quiet birds in circled flight. I am the soft stars that shine at night. Do not stand at my grave and cry; I am not there, I did not die. R.I.P. Bandit 7-12-08 I love you I miss you. |
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