[kimmydawn]

A week before my surgery, I kept my little angel for the night...for one last time for a while.

He woke up in the middle of the night...being that he'd never stayed in this new house and it had been a while since I'd been able to keep him. For whatever reason, we were both up at about 2:30 a.m.

I didn't want to wake up his papaw or great grandpa, so we went out on the porch swing with it being a beautiful night.

I was sitting there and watched a car approaching our road (it's a pretty busy road that he was on) and I noticed that just before my road, it slowed way down. It turned down my road (we live on corner lot) and went incredibly slow in front of my house. I hair raised and senses alert.

It finally went on. About 3 minutes later I saw lights coming back up the road (our street is no outlet). I knew then that they'd not gone to anyone's house and was coming back. Fully alert, I watched the lights. I saw the lights turn off and thought, "Oh, it's probably the neighbor across the road's daughter and her bf." I almost dismissed it with that and thank God I didn't.

The car didn't turn into the driveway across the road, but had turned into ours. When I went to the end of the porch to look to our driveway, I immediate went into action when I saw a large man walking up our sidewalk and was only about 8 feet from me and the baby already!

I had the baby in my arms and immediately starting backing away saying, "Who do you want?" in an angry, demanding voice. Well, most people would stop to talk, clear up confusion, etc. This dude wasn't stopping and walking fast toward me and the baby.

I turned on my heels and began to walk quickly to the door not stopping to answer his, "I'm looking for someone." He was still coming and I could tell my his voice he was up on the porch.

I said there's no one there for him as I was getting inside my door and locking it. When I turned to lock the door he was only about three feet from me and my precious grandbaby...so close and had kept coming!!!

When I was shutting and locking door, he put his hand up to say, "No, no." as if he didn't want me to do that.

By the time I explained to my husband what had happened and he went outside, the guy was gone...that quickly.

THANK GOD I got up to check on those lights. Had I not, I wouldn't have known he was there until he was on me and the baby. This is a quiet suburban area, but there have been several break-ins lately.

Guys, I *know* this guy was up to no good by his body language. Why didn't he stop to chat when I confronted, obviously startled/angry? Why did he keep coming without missing a beat and walking quickly...gaining on me and the baby after I attempted to deter him? Oh, it just wasn't a good intent he had and it's still bothering me. The "what if" is getting to me. I know the "what if" is gone, but ugh.

I think it's bothering me so much more right now because I feel very vulnerable due to the surgery and brace. I just know that this guy was up to no good and thank God I'm as hypervigilent as I am.

I guess there are some plusses to PTSD or parts of it. The awareness to know when something, even small, might be yuck.

KD

[nowheretorun]

((KimmyDawn)))))

it so hard getting past these memories i know... its sad that this ever happens to anyone... im with you all the way... i wish the abuse would end forever and ever too....

[Angel_of_the_Past]

Did you let the police know?

[kimmydawn]

I had nothing to let the police know.

I couldn't give even a description of the car. It was very dark. I didn't see face, clothes, car color even...nothing. All I know is that it was a dark car and he was wearing dark clothes and probably 6 ft. or so and stocky.

I talked with hubby about it and we decided not to because I couldn't give anything to them, but also because they've already ramped up patrols around here due to the break-ins (which are, btw, strangely mostly at day when ppl are gone...saying that it's someone who knows folks around here).

Thanks, hon.

KD

[Angel_of_the_Past]

But even so, they could be on the look out. Chances are this person was up to no good and won't stop with this intrusion. I think law enforcement appreciates any tips they can get. But here again it's your choice.

[1oxbowgirl]

Gosh, kimmydawn, you have good reason to still be upset. That was twice as scary with having the baby with you. I am glad you were alert to danger and with haste made it inside your door, getting it locked just in time.
I was thinking along the same lines as the above post. Just mentioning what happened could protect someone not as vigilent as you, by getting the word out that someone is pulling this sort of stunt. Even thou you cannot identify the car or the man, it is the act that others could be alerted too.
Glad you are alright my friend. My prayers are that you. 1Girl

[Monty_girl]

Think I would of still called the police, just to let them know that, "Hey there is someone still poking around".

[I_WMD]

Dang K D ,,, Your precious Angel and You safe ... If ya wondering what did the 3 am visitor want ?? >>.. Not likely your favorite family recipe ,,

Are honed instincts from lifes experiences are always right on the mark ,,, always trust them ..>>>

WMD xoxox.

[wanttoheal]

Whew KD, I'm so glad you were being vigilant and you and baby were safe! What a scary thing. It's no wonder it's still upsetting. I don't think he was up to anything good that night for sure.

Glad you are safe. I hope the thoughts settle down about it and you can feel safe again very soon.

[(JD)]

Hate that kind of fear: founded!

You did well in that you did check. Glad you're both safe.

[bchlyn]

i think that we have a sense about people... and situations... i am glad you are hypervigilant also...Lyn

[RozG]

(((((KD)))) all i can say is i'm glad u trust ur unstincts and ...glad u and urs are safe coz of it... and love and hugs to you and yours.

[mlpHolmes]

Counting Life's many Blessings...
Counting YOU!!
I am so glad you are safe.

Thinking of you w/ Love and to let you know that warm and caring thoughts will be with you every day.

Wishing you peace & serenity,
Holmes

[kimmydawn]

Thank you so much everyone.

Just writing it out and knowing that, yes, it was scary and, yes, I should have reacted as strongly as I did helped.

Then to have the validation you all have given me has helped immensely.

I think some of the bigger issues don't resolve with me quickly enough because I don't have a clear view of it. How can one deal with and place something that's not viewed clearly? That's where I was.

It now seems to be viewed very clearly, thanks to your help, and I see it for what it was but most importantly...for what it *was*, not is and hasn't been since.

Thank you again, so much.

KD

[Justgiving]

I just saw this post tonight.

I'm so glad you and the baby is alright. You did good by reacting instantly.

You are right PTSD has its advantages. You felt in danger ( just like you did so many times before) and you followed your instinct. You did great.