controlling anger (possible triggers)

Does the anger ever go away? I know that I use anger to protect myself. But it won't go away. Right now, it is emerging at inappropriate times.

Part of it might be from my doc adjusting my meds right now. But sometimes, I just snap. I worry for my children. I cannot be the mother that they need me to be. Today I feel like the whole world is conspiring against me, even though I know that is not true. I can't even explain this, as my head is so jumbled from so many different meds.

I don't even know if I am posting this in the right forum. I have PTSD from early abandonment as an infant and almost 20 years of abuse from my adoptive family. It seems like the stupidest things will trigger me these days. On Sunday, it was getting my head trapped in the fake Christmas tree branches and falling over. Today it was my 5 year old kicking me in the head while I fastened her seatbelt.

And even as I type this, I am fighting down the aching in my throat, trying not to get overwhelmed by my emotions. I don't really know what I am trying to say. I just need to talk, to get the words out.

Obsidian

I understand that it is so hard to even find the words, much less understand what is happening. Keep trying to write it and you know that many many others have been in that same spot. Anger is a natural response that we need to learn to control because it could hurt us and others. Good luck.