understanding

I think I may have post traumatic stress disorder from the verbal abuse that I suffered from my Mom. She continues to do it to me to this day. Everytime I have to be around her I get anxious and defensive worrying about what she will say or do next. All day I worry that my house isn't clean enough for her or that I'm not doing what I should to take care of my kids right. Her cynical voices rings in my ears all day. How do I cope with this.? How do I live for me instead of this woman who seems to control me?

I am sorry that you are suffering from this. You are not a child anymore even though I'll bet you still feel like one, all powerless and everything. You can get yourself out from under your mom but it will take some thinking, talking, and problem solving. So it sounds like you are trying to please your mom so that she won't be mean. Has it worked yet?

Im sorry that sucks.

I've been in your situation and I had to fully break off contact with my own mother. I had to stop being available to abuse.

Then in therapy I was able to start processing and healing. I still have to be vigilant, I need to practice good self care and grounding daily, but I'm no longer as hypervigilant as I was.

When I imagine verbal abuse as being like being physically hit, I understand that I have to get away from the abuse before I can really relax and heal.

I had to strongly choose life, my own life, and stay clear of abuse.

Therapy can also help with sorting out the details of how to take your stand and support yourself completely.

Hi darkness. I'm sorry to hear of the stress and poor relationship with your mom. PTSD involves an event of where someone "knows" they are going to die or greatly fears dying or being killed from the situation, or of witnessing such an event.

She does sound controlling, by what you share. Can you find your own voice in these matters? It might be that you need to remind her, "Mom I'm an adult now, and I am doing the best I can. It's all okay and I don't live by your rules any more. Let me find my own rules. Offer to help if you want to, but please don't judge me by your rules any more. " Or something to that effect?

You might want to write down what you decide is the right thing for you to say, and leave it by the phone, or if she comes over alot, put it into your pocket and take it out and read it (or review it) and say it!

I had to cut all communication from my mother for long while. She was very controlling and overbearing like yours is. I simply decided one day that I could n't take it anymore, and I removed myself from her life for quite some time. Now we are starting to open up to one another and work things out in a more healthy way. Sometimes we are able to do that. Now, she calls me on a regualr basis and we have somewhat normal conversations. She still has a hard time dealing with my issues, but I fugre she will adjust with a little time. It's hard letting go of our parents. But sometmes it has to be done to protect ourselves. Best of luck to you!