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#1
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My T's say that my body is having pain from the kidnapping and ra++ because it has to be heard. So I listened to it tonight and Im sure its the nine year old girl talking but this is what I said to myoo emdr T when I called her and left a message.. what the he++ happened to me? I know that I was attacked but why did it hurt and what happened to me. No one ever sat down and explained to me what happened. I know now I know the answer sort of but I have never had any one explain to me. I dont know if i can hear it. No one looked at me and said you were rap++. No one ever ever told me why the pain was so bad and being nine of course it was but no one explained it to me. I think that is my right to have someone explain this to me, and then tell me why people do this willingly as adults. I have no clue. Am i stupid?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
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#2
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(((((((((MINIME)))))))))
aww... minime.... lots of hugs for you. you are not stupid. you are loved here... Godbless and take care of yourself... just hang in there... ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() >>>snowy...
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![]() MINIME
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#3
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Awwwe MINIME sending more hugs your way. I don't know why other people don't think. It is not you who is stupid. It is the people who have neglected to see that a innocent nine year old girl can't comprehend such actions on her own. I do hope that T can spend the time nessary to meet your needs now.
More warm hugs your way.
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Tired12 ![]() |
#4
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(((((((((((((((((((minime)))))))))))))))))))))
That is not stupid AT ALL. My T has had to explain to me what happened to me. And he told me how he would have helped me if he had been there...and it was very healing. You have wonderful Ts - I know if you tell them what you need, they will give it to you. I'm sorry you are suffering ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() Sannah
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#5
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((((((((((((((((( minime ))))))))))))))))))
I am sending you lots of hugs, I think it's very insightful of you to know what you need and what you deserve. I don't consider that stupid at all, I think it's a step towards healing. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
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![]() Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You, too? Thought I was the only one." C.S. Lewis visit my blog at http://gimmeice.psychcentral.net |
![]() MINIME
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#6
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Everyone above said wonderful things which I second....
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Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
![]() MINIME
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#7
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I feel so stupid.
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#8
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I'm not sure that I understand Mini? Were you in some denial and now you are wanting to break through it? This doesn't make you stupid..........
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Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
![]() MINIME
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#9
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It doesnt matter. I just feel like I am such a stupid idiot. I know what happened to me but I had to figure it out for myself. I dont understand why no one ever talked to me about it really no one said this is what happened this is what its called. They treated me like I was a stupid invisiable kid. Now I am an adult who was raped as a child and has a rotting raped child inside her that is rotten. Ok sorry for the drama just a little bit worn out.
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#10
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You aren't stupid. Don't add to your hurt with incorrect assumptions, that's just more abuse that you don't need, and don't deserve.
![]() I'm glad you were able to cope, even if that meant cordoning off the child that experienced this trauma. That doesn't make you stupid, in fact, it shows how brilliant your mind is! ![]() I'm sorry for your trauma. I'm sorry no one was there for you when you most needed it. I'm sorry no one protected you, when you couldn't protect yourself. ![]()
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![]() MINIME
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#11
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((Minime))
everyone has given you good advice and reassurances that you are not stupid...hopefully within those words you will find comfort. jme, but most adults cannot adequately explain to the child what has happened to them. many times it's because they are afraid of causing more trauma--a denial of sorts that leaves the child feeling more alone. I'm so sorry that no one was able to gently be direct with you. Anger and disappointment are but two things we face as adults when we are able to talk about our rapes. There may be more to come, but it does get easier. There is nothing rotten inside you. There is a hurt and confused child who needs patience and recognition of their strength...you survived then and you are surviving now, and that takes a great deal of courage and endurance. Please be as kind, if not kinder, to yourself that you would be towards someone else...you deserve to show yourself love. I hope you are feeling better, Minime. Sometimes the days and the nights of our healing are so very hard. Cap
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The most dangerous enemy is the one in your head telling you what you do and don't deserve. ~~unknown~~ http://capp.psychcentral.net |
![]() MINIME
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#12
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Quote:
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__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
![]() MINIME
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#13
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HI Minnime,
You arnt stupid, you were a child who dealt with it as best as you could at the time and now you are an adult and you are having the courage to see a therapist and deal with what happened even if you dont remember it all - you are VERY BRAVE - you may not feel it at the moment. Why didnt they tell you ? maybe they were ashamed or did not want to make you suffer - they probably thought if you forgot it would be ok - who knows - I don't remember a lot of - well most of my childhood because of the violence and abuse and i used to call myself names like stupid and dirty and worthless until my psych asked me to write 2 letters - one was to myself about what i remembered and to tell myself how i felt about myself - that was a horrible letter - i let it all out all the horrible things i said to myself - next he said write one about the same incident but as if you were writing to a friend - this one was kind and compassionate and then he said try to treat yourself as you would that friend - and that's what i do now - i hope you can find a way to do the same - sorry if i waffled on - take care P7 |
![]() MINIME
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