[obsids]

Well, yesterday I was feeling pretty positive about my new venture into therapy. Today, the reality is sinking in. Last night I couldn't stop the flashbacks. I finally took the extra dose of my insomnia drug (I have flexibility on the amount I can take.. I usually take a low dose). Eventually I went to sleep and had the usual nightmares and woke in a cold sweat this morning.

Today I am angry and distrustful. I passed on the opportunity to go to the childrens museum with a friend because I didn't want to have to deal with other people. I am angry about a friend online who is stringing me along. Whenever I talk to her, she assures me that it's not how I think it is. But I have a very well-developed sense of intuition, and I know she is lying to me. I know that this other friend of hers turned my best friend online against me and is now turning this other friend against me too. She perpetuates hate and suspicion, self-proclaimed Satanist that she is.

I know... I am being overreactive. But I can feel myself pulling inward, withdrawing from everyone and everything. Stupid ptsd. Stupid life.

[(JD)]

((((OBSIDS)))) I'm sorry for this. Perhaps you and your T covered too much? I know my T had to learn how much is enough, as I also went into a tail spin with too much...regardless of how I feel in the session!

Try to not think about it... distract yourself as much as possible, remember, it isn't happening now... you are safe now...

[Malady156]

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I am angry about a friend online who is stringing me along. Whenever I talk to her, she assures me that it's not how I think it is. But I have a very well-developed sense of intuition, and I know she is lying to me. I know that this other friend of hers turned my best friend online against me and is now turning this other friend against me too. She perpetuates hate and suspicion...

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Online friends are not always what they seem to be. That's part of life online. People feel free -- a little too free if you ask me -- to "hide behind" the computer screen, forget they are dealing with real people who have real feelings, and treat others however they like with no regard for consequences or the hurt they cause. I can't stand "internet drama" myself. Maybe it's best if you let yourself be a little more cautious about how easily you open up and trust ANYONE on ANY level that you know ONLY online. And really her self-proclaimed religion has nothing to do with it. I've met self-proclaimed Christians, self-proclaimed Wiccans, self-proclaimed total atheists who were just as much catty little conniving sh*ts as this person you describe.

Just my 2 cents -- I would "withdraw" from these online shenanigans for awhile but pull closer to real-world people who make you feel loved and supported or even just bring you joy for a little while -- like that friend you had the outing planned with. if you can't deal with a public outing arrange something quiet to do together, or just chat on the phone. Don't let internet weenies add to your stress till you want to withdraw from life itself! We can take breaks from the internet all we want. It will still be there.

Wishing you the best ...

~mal

[obsids]

Thanks, Sky

I think it was because I had to explain my whole family dynamic, and even thinking about my parents is a trigger sometimes.

Yes... have to keep reminding myself... I am safe. I am okay.

[obsids]

*big grin*

Actually, Malady, I have mostly pulled myself out of that whole realm and decided to set up house here. I really like this forum and all the people here who understand and support and commiserate. I am trying not to crawl back under my rock completely, but I am definitely withdrawing from the source of my problems. And you are so right... I definitely need to spend more time nurturing my friendships in real life.

[(JD)]

((((obsids)))) &lt;hands over a dustpan and broom lol

[colors]

Obsids, I am sorry you had nightmares with your meds.

After my trauma I could not sleep either, and took a med pill to help me sleep at night. However the pill gave me terrible nightmares too. I know how you feel. I have not taken one since then as the nightmare was almost as bad as the anxiety attacks.

Just wanted to share that with you. You may want to ask your therapist if it is normal to have nightmares on the medication after a trauma. I mean since you are not the only one who has expierenced it.

Hope you feel better soon.

Colors

[obsids]

The nightmares are from my ptsd. The sleeping meds actually help a lot because they keep me from waking up every hour. Before, I was constantly cycling through dreams and then waking, dreams and then waking... I never went through a complete sleep cycle off the meds.

[HJGS]

I followed Obsids from the other realm.......though I've still been lurking in that other realm.....

I'm one of the few people that is different online than off. I'm the exact same person I am online as offline. I'm quirky, sarcastic, and I can stick your foot in your mouth faster than you can blink.

I understand what you are going through Obsids. I'm glad that you walked away when you did. You know, if I lived closer to you, I'd like to be your RL friend.

[obsids]

I am less outspoken in RL than I am online.... and I don't carry chocolate-filled co... uh... ack...nevermind...

Maybe you could move to lower BC...

Obsidian

[TraumaMama]

I'm new to all of this and just discussed "it" with my counselor yesterday. I feel awful today physically and hurt like h***. Is this normal?

[nothemama8]

This is very normal, and we are here for you
Angie