while staring at the ceiling???

coming up to my parents date again.For newbies they passed 28 days apart. I am not going to go threw the whole thing again. I can not this year. I was staring at the ceiling again thou .....
As this is when my dad was in the hospital. The lead up to him passing.
I was thinking back. Usally its remembering him passing.
THis time I remembered I do not remember the drive home from the hospital after. For the life of me I can not remember telling my Mom. I remember the kids dad dropped me off at my parents apt((i was there because my Dad was dieing))) and went to his parents home. Just the way it was...
As deep as I try I can not remember telling her.I had to of, There was no one there but me and the kids. I remember being in the room the kids and i were sleeping in. I remember My daughter waking up and asking me how bumpy was. ((( my son could not say grandfather))
so he was called bumpy. I lied i said he was ok...one of the only times i have lied to her. Then i went to sleep. On the floor. I can not remember telling the kids either in the morning. Not one memory of telling them or my mom.
All the rest is there............funny how going threw memories ....made me relaize a few are gone.......I never knew they were gone till now???
maybe thats a good thing.....??
Thank you for always listening to my rambles....
muffy

((((((((((((((( muffy )))))))))))))))))))

I am sending you some safe hugs.
Anniversaries can be very hard please remember to take good care of yourself.

Hey Muffy. Your in my heart and thoughts at this time.

You mentioned whether its a good thing to have forgotten those memories. I dont know myself. But a neighbor of mine told me not to long ago those memories we cant recall, he think its better that we dont. He said it would just give us more to hurt and think about. Maybe he is right.

((((Muffy))))you take it slow and easy and talk all you need to. You know i listen.

chal

(((Muffy)))

I think the things we dont remember are the parts our brain says we dont need - I am so sorry you are going through this - try to remember the good times, the times you laughed together, the days you had together - that is what sustains me - remember the good times as well as the bad - take care of you and be kind to yourself P7

Sometimes the mind suppresses painful memories until we are ready to deal with them. I'm sorry about your parents.

(((gimmeice)))))((((((((chalm)))))))))))(((((((((phoenix7))))))(((Christine1123)))))))))))

I think you are all right. Remembering may not be a good thing...I guess if i am suppose to I will...
I was just so shocked that 8 years later I would reliaze those memories were not there?
I do remember from the time i got out of the car at thier apt. I think i was so numb i was in robot mode...I remember thinking how can i tell her my ((mom))
the rest is gone...
ty (everyone))))))))))))))))))))))))
muffy

((((((((((((muffy))))))))))))

i know this time was hard but neither of them would want you to remember them this way, when your mind takes you to this time tell your self a good time and think of that, remember your parents in the light of the good not those bad times

((muffy))......

((muffy))
Sometimes our subconscious minds do for us what we cannot do openly...forget/put aside painful memories.
When we are ready to deal with them then they may return.

Anniversaries can be very hard so please take care of yourself.
My parents have crossed over and I also have blocks of time that are gone. Part of grieving and protecting our spirit...

Cap

((kathy))) ((ty)) From time to time i remember the good things....
looking at this now its the first time I moved beyond the finally moments.
Which in a way was good. I was just shocked I can not remember this??
Its just gone......

((cap)))) i am sorry yours are gone too...
they can be so hard...
I do think your right about protecting my spirit.....
When its ready to come back I guess it will...
((ty))
muffy

I really need help!

((muffy))

Muffy, how are you going???

johnvictorwonner - are you ok? you said you need help?

Capp, its lonely when parents are gone isnt it - its like a ship without a harbour.. but we have the memories of the good times

Hi Muffy,

if you were staring at the celing you were looking up .

sometimes I hope they see us looking thinking and wondering . The relationships continue I believe. I had an expereince that tells me so.

I did not have any last moments to spend with either parent. Unfortunately abuse circumstances proibited me from being able to spend the last two Christamases with my father.

When I was told he died on the phone I went into the shower and had this expereince of being held by him as a child .

With my Mother I was told about her last words to my Neighbor Mary . She just spoke her name with a fightened look . She had a brain anurisum and never regained conciousness, I did not get to say good by to either one.

it was a surreall experience . I never felt quite there durring both weeks of the funerals. just portions come back durring those times.

I'm wondering if your trying to remember to see if you crossed all your t's and dotted all your I's durring that time. You do that here with everyone .

Patricia

((Auroralso))

P7

Ramble anytime ((((((muffy)))))....Always here to lend an ear...

while you statre at the ceiling looking for those answers dont foget you

((((phoenix))))))))))) I am ok.
I think I have to face that this time of year will always be alittle hard for me. So much happened in a short time. So much loss. I can not change a thing about it. Maybe in my head thats what I am trying to do. My PTSD comes from having to make all the desions on them both. And watching them go so close together. I did no matter what happened in life loved them very much.
muffy

johnvictorwonner I hope you are ok

((((((Auroralso))))))))))) I am sorry things were so hard with your parents and that both are gone. Losing your mom like that is very hard. I really do understand the surreall feeling. After my Dad passed on ,then doing my mom right after . I remember thinking just how numb i was.
Your right I do go over it many times seeing if there is something I could have done to change things. Did I do everything I should have?
muffy

(((Muffy)))

I am glad that there was love between you and your parents - what a great gift - i know its hard now try and think of a happy memory when you are sad - somthing you shared with them that made you smile - its a small thing but it can lift the darkness for a while - thinking of you P7

(((phoenix)))))) There was good times and not so good times. But i have to say I loved them with all my heart. Even when it seemed they had a issue with me...and boy do i miss them....As i have said before I use to call thier # no one answers says no futher imfo.. awwwwwwwwww
thank you for being so kind to me...
My parents are one of the hardest things for me to talk about or my feelings about what went on... I guess...
muffy

(((Christine1123)))((ty))(((ziggy))) ((ty for listening to my rambles))

(kathy)))))))))))))))))) I have to thank all of you
I am so sorry I had not seen all these posts before now
you guys all mean so much to me ((ty)))))))