[Tmac]

Went to a T for the first time and was diagnosed with PTSD along with other things. I could search online and read articles but not sure if I will find my answers. I am curious if getting agitated very easily is part of the PTSD. I can be set off by the dogs sniffing me when I come home, or some old lady driving ever so slow. My agitation quickly turns into anger. I am the type of person who shoved all feelings in and could act as though nothing was bothering me. I also get very frustrated easely that also turns into anger. I am sure if I discussed it with the T I have had it a long time from childhood but a physical assault 6 months ago has set me off in a whole different direction with it. That is what has made me seek help. I was already told by the T after the first session I have a lot of anger to deal with but figured she was referring to my upbrining. I also found it interesting as well as angering that in occupational therapy they had me fill out an assessment for PTSD after I already realized I needed help. Which of course made me angry. I felt like it was none of their business. But then again it angered me that someone noticed I was having issues. So I am just curious how others get with their feelings. I am so use to not feeling and now I feel out of control with the frustration agitation and of course how angry I get with the smallest of things. I have gone through life making jokes about everything and now I seemed to have lost my ability to find humor in much if anything at all. Instead I find myself full ofanger to the point that it scares me. I feel like one little thing might put me over the edge and I will totally lose control over my anger. Of course I keep trying to control the anger which is adding to my depression because I am turningthese feelings in on myself. I am just wondering if others with PTSD have struggled with issues like I am right now. My main reason for posting is because right now I am so agitated and frustrated with the whole situation and trying to make sense of this crap! I appreciate anyones comments on how PTSD has effected them especially if they feel the way I do. I am trying to feel normal in an abnormal and stressful time in my life.

[phoenix7]

First I was numb - then it was like information overload - emotions hitting me all the time - I would spark into anger at the slightest thing - was often agitated, it was like being hit with a wave of emotion so strong it knocked me down

This is the time for distraction techniques - putting your hands in ice - doing sums in your head - touching a surface and trying to be present in the moment - deep breathing - counting backwards frm 50 - seeing and saying 12 things and taking a breath each time when you say what it is and what colour it is

there was a time for me - and still is sometimes when you feel like al you can do is hang on and survive - but it does get better - it takes time (hate that word) and hard work at therapy - but it does get better

take care P7

[FerretGuy5]

PTSD all depends on what was the event(s) that caused it. I have PTSD as a result of several events following Viet Nam. One in which I watched helplessly as a man was burned alive by solid propellant rocket fuel, another where I was first responder on a airplane wreck. Followed by the event my arm was crushed and spent the next 3+ years having surgeries. I relive all the events in dreams and try to change the outcome. But, it is always the same.

[(JD)]

PTSD is a beast of a disorder. You're on the right path, don't give up in frustration.

Yes yes yes. Anger is huge in PTSD. Irritation, control issues, hypervigiliance, fear, depression can all be subparts to PTSD also. One of the best things is you do realize you're angry now... good step. Now when you feel anger, try and step back and see if you have a "good" reason for it (such as someone stole your wallet.) If not, then you can blame it on the ptsd and tell yourself that you're healing from that...

It's a very long journey. Please stick with it, and us. Many here have travelled the path, and have found that there is life without everything being "ptsd."

[Tmac]

Thank you for the comments. I am just trying to make sense of things going on "inside" myself. A lot of times when I get angry or agitated they seem to be stupid things that would have not gotten to me in the past. Emotional overoad is probably a good way to express it. No matter how I feel it usually ends up being anger in the end. I am to the point that when I am around anyone I think what will they do to agitate me. I tend to limit my exposure to others and make all phone calls as short as possible. I guess in a way the best way to explain it would be a pin ball machine,with the ball bouncing around inside what button will be hit next.

[phoenix7]

and the problem is that the more you feel worried about being triggered by people the more likely you are to be triggered -

really stupid things would set me off - things that the "before" me would just have let go and not even got upset about - then I used to get angry with myself for being angry which didnt help either!

these are good things to discuss with your T - she can help you work your way through this and give you techn iques to help you -

it's hard and it's frustrating, but things do get better - I look at the me of 2 years ago and I went from numb to totally out of control - now things are a lot better - If I could just get my sleep under control - who knows - I might be only slightly crazy!!! LOL

take care P7

[sw628]

I have PTSD and an eating disorder. I actually started therapy about 6 months ago and it is working out ok. Someday's I want to quit because the the issues are to hard to talk about. Other days, I see myself making lots of progress and want to continue. Luckily, I have an amazing T and I love her very much. With PTSD, time is a major part of the healing process. Continue going to therapy and expressing your emotions, it will get better. Trauma isn't something we overcome over night. It's taken years to manifest in our hearts, and cause a tremendous amount of pain. I'm walking the same road you are. The destination can't be too far away

[michele#3]

Yeah, I still have a great deal of anger and I've been in therapy off and on for many, many years. I does get better with time, but for me anyway the anger is still there. In order to difuse it I try to remind my self of the repreccusions of inappropriate anger, which I might add can be serious. It helps somewhat. Another way I've learned to deal with it is to try to be more mindful of my own personal needs.
I think for now you are just at the begginning of your journey, so take it one day at a time, or barring that one moment at a time