[kittykat]

I guess I was telling some of you of the time I checked ino the hsopital. I found out that they had checked me into a "locked" ward. When I asked where was the policy that says that I have to be placed in a locked in orrder to get into the open word. They said it was their "profesional judgment." I said no to that and prepared to eave. They did put me in an open ward and boy did the abuse start. Lying to me, refusing me treament until I insisted that a doctor be caled. Even yelling at you telling you what a bad patient you. And all the little gmes they play like ignoring you or "forgetting things. I go so down I coudnt top crying or even defend mysef. One nurse checke me in as Major depresive psychotic and signed her name.

I wen to the director again and it just got worse. All I can do is cry. I just can't stop it. Iam realy losing my self esteem and etting more depressed. I need a should so so bad. I'm just so beat down I can;'t stop crying. And who has the stength to stop crying on top of the depression.

I discharged myself from the hospital and now have to go back to a day program. What they have as an "advocate" is NOT. Please support. I can't even get mysef together much stick up for my self.

kk
kk

[Rapunzel]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{kk}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I'm sorry that you were treated like that by people who should have been helping you. Can you find another treatment program? If you have a regular doctor or therapist, or can find one, they would probably be your best advocates.

<font color=orange>"They accused us of suppressing freedom of expression. This was a lie and we could not let them publish it." ... from the Director of Censorship...

</font color=orange>

[shakes]

(((((kittykat)))))
I too am so sorry for your horrible treatment. God some hospitals can be such horrible places that actually make you feel worse/less human when you get out then you did before.
Their treatment of you is not your fault. They were completely in the wrong for not being truthful with you. It seems sad that so many people in hospital wards are burnt out and resort to treating patients horribly.
I can understand. My psychiatrist when I was in the hospital called me a manipulating girl with serious anger repression issues. He told me my entire life was going to be worthless and horrible until I came to terms with my anger. So I called him a jerk who had no people skills and should not be in this business because he has no ability to help others.

Stay strong,
Jessica

You are in this snowglobe. It is encovered in glass and secure. But one day someone comes and shakes the globe and the pieces go flying everywhere. Now they will eventually settle but they won't be the way they were before and they can never be that way again.

KK - I'm so sorry you had such a bad experience. Did the day program start today? Are you seeing a social worker or other therapist there? Perhaps you could prepare for that by making a list of your current issues. You'll only have a short visit with him/her so you'll want to make good use of your time. You'll want to just cry...but let's face it, you can do that at home!

You can tell him/her that your goal is to stay out of the hospital, but you will have to figure out how to do that SAFELY. Perhaps you can make a safety plan together?

You could also list all the things that happened to you in the hospital, and leave it with him/her to read later (on their time!) so they understand. Just try to make use of that time, and try to stay foused. It's hard. Sometimes you have to be your own advocate.

Also, you could try calling your local NAMI. Try looking at www.nami.org to see if there is a chapter in your area. You might find that they have people who understand and can listen for free!

Please take care of yourself. Emmy

"If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion." -- The Dalai Lama

[kittykat]

Thanks to you all for being there for me. I still feel the hugs and you were very, very supportive, everone of you. I finally got out of the cockoo's nest. My doctor was very helpful and symphatic to what I was I was going through. He said he has seen it happen to other patient's and has even gone to the director of nursing.

I thought it was bad being yelled at by nurses when I needed medical care, but to have your psychiatrist treat you that way is unthinkable. I am glad you had the strength to dump him and your remark that "it isn't you" was very comforting, and it sure is true. He did finally work a good plan of meds for me. Have you ever heard of Provigil? It is a stimulant kind of like Ritalin. He has added that to the other drugs to enchance the others ones I guess while waiting for the antidepressnts to work.

I am in a search for a good therapist. To get through this depression would be so wonderful. I know a lot of you would agree with me. Jessica, your little note about the globe was so beautiful.

Thank you all for being there when I was falling apart. Now to get through the depression.

Thank you all

kk