Thinking of Ending Life Because I Used AD's

I feel the same, ADs modify your brain in a way that can cause a lot of pain or relieve you from pain! I took them for 2 years while a teen and they killed my passion for books. I stopped reading and doing any kind of cognitive activity because it numbed me, but after 6 years I am here again! (I took prozac and paxil, they also caused me a hypomanic episode that became a mixed one, while before taking them I had never had a mixed episode).

When the serotonin in the brain becomes high because of SSRI, the brain may react releasing less serotonin to fight the RI. This is more likely to happen younger you are because your brain is more plastic, this is why it worse depression and anxiety in teens much more (statistically) than it does in adults.

I had horrible consequences from AD use, but it is not brain damage, it just the brain changed to adjust to the med. Once you stop it, it can take long time to be like before, which means if it actually helped you you might get depressed again but if it harmed you the harm can be reversed with time and cognitive exercise.

Painting, learning a new language, chess, ... Even iuf you feel nothing at the beginning and you have to force yourself, with time and patience you will end up finding joy and creativity again.

Don't focus on what AD did, just try to get better!

How do I reverse possible stunted growth? How do I reverse possible deteriorated bone growth? How do I reverse emotional stunting?
How do I turn the table when I feel belittled by my little brother? https://forums.psychcentral.com/rela...e-brother.html
How do I make my parents pay for driving me into the condition where I have to see a therapist and then be destroyed by AD's?
Why on Earth isn't there a mental health police? The abuse cannot be ignored through psychotherapy and psychiatry!
If mentality is health, then a shot to the mental health is the same as a shot to the physical body.

When I took the AD's and looking at pictures from junior high school after I started taking them, I looked dead. Yet I was too weak to say "no" to them. I have no idea whether the AD's caused this or not, but it was all lead to this point because of the therapy with my therapist. The therapist even pointed out "So you're judging me". He's too b*tthurt.
When I confronted that statement by uncomfortably saying "I'm not judging you", he changed his tone from strong to gentle, saying "No... what I meant was you were judging the treatment".

I really want to understand the situation and improve myself constructively, though.
My last psychiatrist was no professional to consult with about the effects of AD's. He's just there for giving medications.
Anyway, I want to understand my situation better. I want a good book, or a good website regarding improvment of the brain and its areas, particularly the frontal lobe.
Keypoint to all those troubling thoughts - I'm done being weak! I want to be strong and stronger.

Sorry you are frustrated.

Here's my 2 cents. It seems like you are obsessing over something that you can't do anything about. There will never be definitive proof of whether or not ADs damaged your brain or not. same with stunted growth. Research is ever evolving.

Even if you DID get proof of these things it wouldn't change anything. You have the brain you have, now, at this moment. Your brain seems pretty active to me. I don't think it's as damaged as you think. It may even be better.