[jefftele]

i have suffered depression for 2o years ive tried meds but give up on them when i'm feeling better, what then happens is then ,i fall back into depression, i really don't understand my behaviour, if i had diabetes i'd take insulin, i want to be well and have a life, but somehow i don't, i'm unsure whether the depression is really cured , and whether the distorted thinking is affecting my behaviour, like this i literally feel i'm losing my mind. i've been diagnosed as having double depression, but what use is it when i want to be well. i am wondering if a referral to a psychiatrist would help, i've done therapy and all sorts of healing i'm at a loss, anyone any ideas? thanks

[Perna]

If the meds work, I'd go back on them and work with a therapist on staying on them and answering your questions that are resulting in your conflicting behavior?

The best thing I've heard about depression is that it is never 100% of us and even if we're born with 99% there is still that 1% that gets to choose to be something else. (from PBS-TV series, Discovering Psychology). Usually though, as as been pointed out, it's more like 52/48 or something rather than 99/1. There's still a whole lot of us that can be and do if we choose. A book that helps me with that is Learned Optimism, http://www.shearonforschools.com/learned_optimism.htm

[sabby]

It certainly can be a battle jeff when things seem to be going well and we don't want to be tethered to the meds anymore.

Would it help to tell yourself that sometimes depression is more than just a "state of mind" but very often is caused by a chemical imbalance in our brains? Just like the imbalance of insulin in our bodies when diabetic, imbalance of certain chemicals in our brains can be just as harmful to us if we ignore them when feeling better on the meds.

I understand it's sometimes hard to wrap our minds around that. But what have you got to loose by trying?

I wish you well jeff!


sabby

[sunrise]

Also, when people first go off of anti-depressants, their brains go through some adjustments, so in the first few months off of the meds, it can feel like you are depressed again but it may just be your brain adjusting to the changed levels of neurotransmitter. Things will shift around a bit. If you can get past this first stage, you may find you are not depressed anymore. But it can be hard to push through that and difficult to tell "am I really still depressed or just having this temporary doldrums effect from stopping the meds?" There's not a way to tell but to go off the meds and stay off a while, meantime using your coping strategies learned in therapy. Chemical imbalances in our brains can be caused by a reaction to challenging life events, and once those events are under control, the chemicals go back to "normal." Their return to "normal" can be masked by taking meds so you really don't know how you're truly doing "under there." For other people, their imbalance is permanent, a part of their genetic make-up.

Good luck, Jeff. I admire you for trying to check in and see where you're at without your meds. What is double depression? I think it would be helpful to visit a psychiatrist for advice on the meds question. A GP may not have the expertise necessary to advise you on how to come off of your meds, restart, etc.

[jefftele]

hi thanks for the replies, food for thought, i do feel i need to see a shrink as my thinking is literally all over the place. double depression is a term that suggests a chronic depression with cyclical severe depressions --such fun!!