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Grand Magnate
Member Since Mar 2007
Location: Indiana
Posts: 3,921
17 273 hugs
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#1
I have often posted in this forum about how good abilify has been for me--it kept me sane with few side effect for several years. I guess maybe all good things must come to an end, but hopefully they are all replaced by something better.
Don't know why, but I started having uncontrollable muscle jerks and then my teeth started chattering. It got so bad my jaw got sore. According to my pdoc, these are not good side effects. Matter of fact, I have been off the abilify for 11 days and I am still having muscle jerks in my hands and arms. The literature says this may or may not go away. Getting off the abilify after being on it for so long was a horrible experience. I thought I was going mad. Right now, I have found myself much more in tune with my emotions. The abilify really blunted my feelings for so long, I forgot how good some things can feel...well, and how bad some things can feel. I encourage everybody to pay attention to even the littlest side effects, report them to your pdoc and decide if you are willing to take the risk of staying on abilify. Not just that, but remember what it feels like to feel...I forgot what it feels like to just plain feel. A part of me is sad that I spent so much time numbed out by the abilify, but, on the other hand, I may not have been able to cope with those feelings at the time. So, I guess it is a real crap shoot. Maybe the abilify helped me for awhile, but it came at a price. I hope the muscle jerks eventually go away. I am a painter and it makes it impossible to paint when your hand is jerking all over. I never thought I might be faced with permanent side effects, especially ones that might take away something so dear to me...my ability to paint. I know we can never go back and redo part of our life, but I would like to have those years of my life back...I would like to see if I would have been able to handle things without being numbed out by the abilify. And, I sure, would never take a med if I knew it might cause lasting side effects that would prevent me from doing what I love the most...painting.... Yes, I have paid a high price for what I thought was my sanity. I am beginning to question whether it really kept me sane or if I would have just found a better way to cope if I had not started the abilify. Somethings I will never know....I will never know what I really felt like for those years while I was on the abilify and I will never know if I threw those years away or if abilify really did help me. But, given the choice now...I would never start taking abilfy...I would find another way. __________________ You don't have to fly straight... ...just keep it between the lines!
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Member
Member Since Jun 2008
Location: Florida USA
Posts: 108
16 |
#2
DePressMe,
I am having side effects w/ abilify - restlessness. I took it a couple of years ago & don't remember having that side effect. So I'm not sure if it's the reduction in my mood stabilizer or the abilify. My point is you are not alone. I like metalsmithing and making sculptures, but my blunted affect has killed my desire to create - I think I understand where you are coming from. The muscle jerks you're experiencing may go away. I took Haldol for a short time years ago and it gave me movement problems that eventually went away. BTW, I visited your blog and liked it very much. It is honest and intense. __________________ This thing of darkness I acknowledge mine. -Prospero, The Tempest 5.1.275-6 My Blog: http://abaffledlook.wordpress.com My blog: http://wordsaladworld.wordpress.com |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Mar 2007
Location: Indiana
Posts: 3,921
17 273 hugs
given |
#3
vrba, I hope you are right, I hope the movement problems go away for me too. Yes, the blunting of our creativeness is a high price to pay for the "sanity" that the meds give us. Even when my ability to be creative is blunted, I still have a burning, inner need to be creative. I mean, yes, my desire to be creative is gone, I have no energy for it, but my mind still knows I need it. I always feel like something is missing when I am not painting--like I am not complete. I hope you can find a balance with your meds so you can once again be creative...don't settle for anything less. Hey, thanks for reading my blog...I often wonder if anybody, other than me, actually reads it.
__________________ You don't have to fly straight... ...just keep it between the lines!
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