back to T after missing session when sick

I have been sick for the past week and a half. I saw T last Monday, but cancelled Thursday because I had not been able to sleep most of the week except an hour here and there, and I was so exhausted I wouldn't have been able to think or talk. Work was a challenge all week as it was not only because of being sick but because our computer system died the week before, leaving my people only 3 days to complete a week's worth of work. (They did it!! yay!)

I nearly cancelled tonight but miraculously feel okay this morning.

It feels like such a long time since I've seen T. Only a week, but I feel really disconnected, as if I could just stop going! That I could not see T again, not engage in therapy any more. That kind of scares me a bit, that I could lose the feeling so easily. It's like this connection is like many of my connections--only in the moment. I thought (hoped?!) that it was different, deeper, more meaningful. Yikes. It makes me think either I'm failing at the T connection or I just fail connecting in general. It makes me think I must be shallow intellectually and emotionally. Or maybe it's my holding back that affects all connections.

Well I'm thinking along these lines, so I guess I must be 'back'. lol

I get this feeling too! When I am seeing T regularly, I feel so attached to him, but if we have a week off, I feel like "I could never see that guy again, and I'd be fine. Maybe I should just quit therapy now, while I can!"

But when I go back, the connection comes back. And the longer I am in therapy, the quicker it comes back.

I hope you have a good session, ECHOES

It's hard to connect again after an absence. ECHOES, you sure don't seem shallow to me in any way. I hope your next session is more connected and that you are completely recovered. (Did you have the flu?)

it has always confused me why people say that "absence makes the heart grow fonder". the longer i don't see someone, the less i get the urge to continue seeing them, the less i miss our connection. it is nice to know that others relate in this way.

with pdoc it is different, but i think he is the only one. and that only happened after many years of seeing him. i still think about quitting (all the time!) but i think of it is a sad thing, not a neutral thing like it would be with so many other people i have relationships with.

There's a saying for that too: "out of sight, out of mind."

Treehouse, this just cracked me up--you have such a way with words! Yes, this is something I was thinking...getting out while the getting is good. lol

sunny, yes I had the flu. I thought it would never end, then yesterday I realized the symptoms I was having were migraine, so I treated that and this morning actually felt good, not just better but Good

deliquesce, they also say "Out of sight, out of mind" which is how I tend to be too. ((edit--sunny, you beat me to this!!))

It was a really good session. Quiet and calm and connecting; little resistance from me; I felt like I was able to watch it unfold, and feel it unfold. It was nice. I told her I had no idea what to talk about since I had pretty much been sleeping since last Monday. But there were plenty of 'leftovers' from last Monday and the session took off quickly but at a nice pace. I love leftovers!

ooh - thank you for reminding me of that saying, (((sunrise and echoes))). i feel like a normal person again (because, clearly, i need folk sayings to validate my experience ).

LOL deliquesce!