[del12]

I have had a really difficult week and this morning it just was the last straw. Dealing with family that is dysfunctional and planning mothers day for an ailing mom. Our family has huge issues with control and communication. I was so upset dealing with them and dealing with the fear that my mother's health is deteriorating which I have been stuffing decided to surface this week. I have been an emotional wreck and I am scared to go to my mom's because I am worried I will fall apart emotionally and it is taboo to cry in my family. I just love the what's wrong with you question when I do cry. I have wanted to call my T all day and since we have never discussed the calling issue I have tried to deal with this myself. Basically telling myself I will be okay and I am making too much of this. What would I do before I ever had a T? etc... I have talked to a couple good friends who understand the crazy dynamics of my family and it helped somewhat at least I was able to share. If never discussed calling before do you think it is all right to call anyway?

[chaotic13]

Can you try going for a walk, taking a long hot bath, or just finding some way to remove yourself from the stressors for a little while and just breathe?

If this doesn't help. Call your T. You will likely get her voice mail or answering service. The worst that can happen is that your T will inform you of her between sessions policies. Even if this happens it will likely be done in the nicest possible way and without scolding. Ts are good at clueing us in on the rules without beating us up.

[deliquesce]

i guess another suggestion would to be call a counselling service? i used to volunteer for one, and these are the types of situations we helped out with frequently (relationships!).

my pdoc encourages me to call when i am where you are, but this has only been a recent(ish) development. when i first started out with him, and for the first few years, i would only call if it was an emergency.

like chaotic said, though, your T will not scold you. the worst that will happen is she will check how you are briefly, give you a few activities to distract yourself and suggest talking about it the next time you see her.

[cmac13]

I can call my therapist any time (but I don't) I even have her home number and in all of the years (17) I have known her I have only called her at home a couple of times. She returns my calls very quickly if I leave a message. She will talk with me for as long as it takes. I am blessed to have such a caring person working with me.

[del12]

Thanks for your input. I am feeling much better now that I have talked to one of my siblings and found out that much of the todo was because of the other sibling who feels they are never wrong and can tear everyone else apart. I now realize that I need to stay away from that sibling until I get healthy enough to stand up to her and not let her words hurt me. I basically took care of me today and going to Mass tonight helped. I so need to remember that I have my faith and that is so helpful. I guess I have a lot to unload and share at therapy this week and it may be rough, but thank God I have a safe place to share.

[Kiya]

you ask T. =) more simple that it feels.
or... if you have T's number, you call, and then you find out if you can lol
(((((((((supportive hugs if you want them)))))))))))
sit with us - those also struggling with mothers day. we'll help =)

[Simcha]

Originally Posted by del12

I have had a really difficult week and this morning it just was the last straw. Dealing with family that is dysfunctional and planning mothers day for an ailing mom. Our family has huge issues with control and communication. I was so upset dealing with them and dealing with the fear that my mother's health is deteriorating which I have been stuffing decided to surface this week. I have been an emotional wreck and I am scared to go to my mom's because I am worried I will fall apart emotionally and it is taboo to cry in my family. I just love the what's wrong with you question when I do cry. I have wanted to call my T all day and since we have never discussed the calling issue I have tried to deal with this myself. Basically telling myself I will be okay and I am making too much of this. What would I do before I ever had a T? etc... I have talked to a couple good friends who understand the crazy dynamics of my family and it helped somewhat at least I was able to share. If never discussed calling before do you think it is all right to call anyway?

Sounds alright to call for a little bit more reassurance and understanding to me. As long as you aren't asking your T to solve every problem you might ever encounter, calling him for his advice on what color socks to wear tomorrow, I think you'll be fine.

I only call my T when I have an extremely difficult situation that I can't rely on anyone else for support with. These are almost always things we have touched on in session, and I always have the green-light to call him if I get in a dysfunctional state (when any action or inaction that I take on my own is actually more harmful to me than calling and risking annoying my T). Anyway, I don't worry so much about neediness, and from the sounds of it you don't either, so I say go for it.

If you have a serious situation and see no way out on your own, you need backup. T's are good for this.

[deliquesce]

Originally Posted by del12

Thanks for your input. I am feeling much better now that I have talked to one of my siblings and found out that much of the todo was because of the other sibling who feels they are never wrong and can tear everyone else apart. I now realize that I need to stay away from that sibling until I get healthy enough to stand up to her and not let her words hurt me. I basically took care of me today and going to Mass tonight helped. I so need to remember that I have my faith and that is so helpful. I guess I have a lot to unload and share at therapy this week and it may be rough, but thank God I have a safe place to share.

good work, del! it is always awesome to be reminded that we have extra strength and sources of support. you did really well to cope in a difficult situation .

maybe when you see T this week you could ask her about calling also? that way in the future you won't be left wondering. and even though you handled this situation well, sometimes it's nice just knowing they are on the end of the phone if you need them.

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by del12

Thanks for your input. I am feeling much better now that I have talked to one of my siblings and found out that much of the todo was because of the other sibling who feels they are never wrong and can tear everyone else apart. I now realize that I need to stay away from that sibling until I get healthy enough to stand up to her and not let her words hurt me. I basically took care of me today and going to Mass tonight helped. I so need to remember that I have my faith and that is so helpful. I guess I have a lot to unload and share at therapy this week and it may be rough, but thank God I have a safe place to share.

(((((((((((((((((((( del12 )))))))))))))))))

[del12]

Thank you to all. You guys are awesome!

Mother's Day went well. I am still a bit weepy and anxious but I am looking forward to unloading this week at my therapy session. I sure hope I don't shut down whe I get there.