I hope you are okay, I am worried about you.

[rainbow8]

I'm also thinking about you. You've gotten so much negative input about your T, which may be valid, but you've got a relationship with her and haven't gotten, IMO, much validation for that. It's not so easy to walk away even if she's not good. I stuck with my T even though some of her statements to me would be considered unprofessional and unhelpful. I was too attached to leave her, but I also weighed the pros and cons, and decided there was more positive about the therapy than negative.

Even though most of the suggestions have been to terminate your therapy, and not even go back, it's up to you. None of us is there with you in your therapy. We can only advise you based on what you share with us; it's still YOUR decision how to handle it, not OURS.

I hope you're okay.

[peaches100]

(((((Hangingon)))))

I'm concerned about you too! Regarding your t, do whatever you feel in your heart is the best thing for you. If you aren't sure, don't make any hasty decisions.

You'll get through this.

Please let us know that you're OK.

[hangingon]

Thank you.....
I'm still confused as to what I should do ( I am to see her tomorrow evening) ; a bigger part of me feels that I cannot trust her anymore. Not because of something I caused by not telling her about it sooner, but because of the way she responded to my confrontation.

I really don't get the impression that she even understands what she did. I have a feeling she is going to continually place the blame on me, rather than owning up to her part in it as well.

I am really nervous about going tomorrow. If I chicken out, I won't be returning, and will leave it at that; though I know it will bother just as well.

If I do go tomorrow evening, her response is going to be the thing that reserves hope for the relationship or totally breaks it. Since she is moving on full time somewhere else, and only working two nights a week at her private practice, I get the impression she really doesn't care that I leave.

As if she took my confrontation and ran with it as a way out of one more patient to make her life easier right now as far as terminating with most her old patients. Its all pretty confusing right now...

[sittingatwatersedge]

wow, Hangingon, I really admire your courage. I won't bother you with what I would do; you will handle it your way. I sure hope everything turns out OK for you. let us know. hugs

[laura2]

hope you continue to have courage, & go tomo

it would be fantastic if the two of you can get through this, either way you will never stop getting support here, you have been so understanding & brave, should be proud of yourself

[searchingmysoul]

(((((((((((hanginon))))))))))))

I am thinking of you too, and sending lots of care and positive thoughts to you.

Unfortunately, what you are going through right now is so eerily familiar to the situation that I went through w/ my former T that I have nothing else to add that would be of help as I am filled with my own feelings because of what happened to me. I have even thought "does she live in the same city as me? Have the same T?"

I too admire your courage to continue to try to address the issue at hand and be true to yourself and your feelings.

Take care.

[hangingon]

Thank you,
Every hour that passes makes me think it's really not worth it, that maybe this is how she really is. That her true colors came out and that perhaps she is not the safest healthiest therapist for me.

I hate not knowing what to do......

[Elysium]

Oh Hangingon!!!

I've come into this so late, but I read back to your recent threads and I just couldn't stay quiet.

I have been seeing the same therapist, in private practice, for over FIVE years, and she has only canceled about four times. Once because her daughter was sick (she's a single mother), twice because of inclement weather, and once because she was sick. I have also seen other therapist throughout my life who never canceled either, so to hear you repeat what you T said about not knowing anyone else that won't cancel as much as her is a bunch of BS!!

I'm soooo hurt and angry for you!!

You have every right to ask for consistency, as does any patient, when working on issues such as trust and attachment, and trauma. It is extremely unprofessional for you T to take that attitude.

In regard to the email you sent your T (I think it was the second one), you know, it sounds so much like you are being HER therapist in that email. It almost seems like a bit of role reversal there and I think your T is manipulating the situation to cover her butt.

I think she is right. She IS NOT what you need. You need a T that is going to respect your needs and keep appointments as scheduled. If it were you that were changing and canceling appointments so much, not only would your T not put up with that behavior...not only would she keep track of how many sessions you changed/canceled but she'd probably also charge you for any cancelations made that weren't given within 24 hours of your session.

I know that it is sooooooo hard to transfer to a new T, especially when you've had two previous experience that are making you head for the hills. But this woman just isn't up to par. It sounds like she has her own issues and this is one big one for her. Let her own the problem!! You don't need it. Find a new T and move forward. There are good ones out there, unfortunately there are some bad apples out there too.

Take care.....I'm here for you!!

[coconut64]

(((((((((((((hangingon)))))))))))))) sending you lots of hugs and strength for tomorrow. Let us know how it goes.

Hangingon,

I actually think you should go to the appointment because it well let you know more concretely if she is the right one for you. You will know I bet in the first 5 minutes on how the session is going to go. Just don't let her back you into a corner and let her manipulate you that this was somehow your fault. It isn't. I think this could also give you some closure and confidence if you do decide to quit her because you are telling the word, "Here I am, and you better treat me right!" I know it feels so bad right now, but I see a very brave "survivor" standing up for herself and taking charge of her recovery and her life. Good for you!

[chaotic13]

((((Hangingon))))

[sunrise]

HangingOn

I'm thinking of you. Good luck tomorrow.

(((((((hanging on))))))))

hoping it goes well for you tomorrow.