Here we go!!!!

I remember there being a lot of threads on here about T vacations last year. So let me kick off the summer...my T is on vacation next week

I saw him today and I will see him again on the 16th. So that's like....12 days??? It sounds far away.

T and I talked about what I can do while he is gone. He said I can e-mail and leave voice messages, but I think I will just try to journal instead. I know I'll get kind of spiraly sending a voice mail out into T vacation-land. I want him to relax and have fun. So, I'll journal....and we talked today about the fact that I am a really social person but I isolate myself when I am under stress...so I am going to make a conscious effort to reach out to someone next week to connect and hang out for a while. He's going to leave me a voice mail message to listen to while he is gone.

I'll be okay. But I really will miss him

[cmac13]

I too also have difficulties when my therapist is away on vacation. Sometimes she writes a letter for me to have while she is away expressing that she will return and she is not abandoning me. I can also leave her voice messages and she sometimes checks them when away and will call me back if I ask her to. I told her that I don't like to do that though because I want her to have a vacation and not be worrting about work and me. She told me that she can decide for herself whether to call me or not and I don't have to take care of her or worry about intruding on her vacation time. She tells me that it is ok for me to feel needy and to ask for her reassurance about coming back. She is so kind and caring...

[velcro003]

I saw mine on Tuesday, and will see her again, the 22nd! But, it doesn't bother me terribly.

My T is currently on vacation. I saw her the 29th and will see her again on the 11th.

I'm struggling more with my other T. We're technically terminated, but we continue to have contact. She is a mentor for the T mentioned above. She's not so much on vacation, just that, I am ALSO a T, and getting our schedules to jive together seems IMPOSSIBLE. I fear it'll be a while before I can see her again face to face.

[MissCharlotte]

Okay, so we're all in the same boat. Tree, I think you are VERY BRAVE to work on your journaling. Twelve days DOES seem like a long time. T and I discussed vacations yesterday as well. He will take his usual August 2 weeks which coincides with my returning to work so the timing is good because I'll be busy. But there's a chance I might go away for the two weeks before he does. EEEEEEEK - I mentioned this and asked him if we could do phone sessions and he said ok. Meanwhile as I spin surrounding just the thought of this topic I know he's thinking "ok, ok, Miss, chill out whatever you need....." He is also taking a long JUly 4th weekend which means I'll miss 2 sessions because I usually go 2x per week. I just looked at him and said, "Ok, you can go."

[Mouse_]

MInes just come back from a weeks break. the BIG summer break begins Aug 5th. I've battles these past 6yrs with trying to accept missing her, then going back to pretending its much easier being away from therapy, to why would I miss 2 50mins sessions anyways? But something T said on monday just goine when I was venting my pain at her absence last week, she said "Yes my being away is a reminder of the time we do spend together", that "spend together" made me stop and think a bit more, like how emotionaly cold would it be to not miss that? Isn't this what we're all searching for? the ablity to enjoy and appricate someone elses presence? So I'm gonna have to stop trying to "erase" her when shes not around and sadly accept that dam yes I miss her presence.

T left me my "vacation message". It was so long that my voice mail cut him off and he had to call back to finish it LOL. It made me laugh, because ususally *I* leave *him* messages that are that long.

In it he said: "There's no way you could become not part of my life as time goes by...it's always the same, you're always there"

He left a lot of reassurance as well as some practical tips about some things I have going on next week. So. Here we go....day 1!

[rainbow8]

I wonder if I should think of my current relationship with my T as an "extended" vacation. I understand how hard it is for all of you, since I was there! I remember when 2 weeks in between sessions seemed like an eternity! Then I did 3 weeks, then 4. Sometimes I coped better than other times. Now it's been a month since my session and I'm doing pretty well. There was a "crisis" but we solved it.

Is it different when T is out-of-town? I worried about her when she was away, but did better when I was away.

I really think the key is feeling and knowing in your heart that your T is there for you even when he/she is not with you. I'm feeling that way now, though holding my breath that it will last! Good luck to those struggling with this.

Originally Posted by rainbow8

Is it different when T is out-of-town? I worried about her when she was away, but did better when I was away.

It's definitely easier for me when I am away...I think partly because I know he is in his office (where he BELONGS! lol) and I can call if I need him.

When he is gone, he's just......gone

T vacation update:

Today is the middle point. It has been 6 days since I've seen him and 6 days until I see him again. It was a HARD day. My mom had chemo on Monday that made her really sick and I have been running in a million directions trying to manage that and my kids and their activities and life in general. Then my mom's oncologist called this afternoon to say that she DOES NOT think she has cancer. She's NOT SURE. So now my mom goes for a PET scan in three weeks for a more definitive diagnosis. This is SO the story of my life. Mom's going to die, no she's not, yes she is, no she's not, yes she is, no she's not. Since I was teeny tiny. I've spent my whole life taking care of her and fearing her death. I worked so so so so hard today for her (as I have been lately) and when she called to tell me the "maybe not cancer" news I could tell there was something wrong with my response because she was clearly angry. I have NO IDEA what I did, but it wasn't "perfect" so despite all of the hard work I've done to help her, she's pissed. Help.

ANYHOW, I typed a big e-mail to T this morning. He invited me to e-mail/leave messages during his vacation (but he won't respond until he gets back). I could NOT send it. I just saved it in my drafts. I was afraid I would spiral out about "bothering" him on his vacation (which I know is just silliness I am making up in my own mind, because he made it clear it would be more than okay).

So. I miss T. We haven't been working on anything "deep" lately - just how to get through day to day life right now - so in a way it hasn't felt as "necessary". But now that he's not here, I can see how much his love and support and listening ear help me get through and help me do a better job doing what I need to do (being a compassionate mom, a helpful daughter, etc.)

I miss him. A lot. I think about him and hope he is having the best time ever with his family.

And I can't wait for him to come back.

[MissCharlotte]

((tree))
I'm glad you posted. I was just wondering about your T's vacation.
I am so sorry about the situation with your Mom. Her reaction is so typical of an alcoholic family member. There is no way to please her so don't try. You are doing more than your share here. Please try to remember and take care of yourself -- teeny breaks now and again just for you, okay?

Many hugs for you!

((((((Treehouse))))))

Hang in there, you are halfway through! Don't be hard on yourself about how you reacted to that news about your mother, either!

My T told me this week that she's taking 3 weeks off in August, and that she could give me another T's name if I want to schedule any appointments while my T is away. I can't imagine seeing someone else while T is gone - it would take more than 3 weeks just to start all over again with someone!

I'm not freaked out about missing 3 sessions yet, but we'll see how I feel in August, since I feel like I'm starting to get a little attached to my T.