[sittingatwatersedge]

from a recent PC post >>>>> I could hardly sleep at all last night thinking about today, got up, showered, dressed nice (with 3 top changes trying to decide "who" i wanted to present today), ended up with my "shell" on; clothes that give me that hardened, nothing can f*** with me look...

WOW this totally blew me away.

I realized that I very often end up wearing the same thing on the days I go to see T - brown and black - and had planned to do the same this time. If I had to read it, I'd say it conveys depression and tight self-control (read: distrust).

hmmm.... that's very accurate!! Anyone else?

[rainbow8]

Interesting topic. When I knew I was going to discuss my feelings/attachment to my T, I wanted to wear more sophisticated kinds of clothes because that's what she always wears. I wanted to look my best so I would feel more "equal" to her. But when I had important issues about something else other than "her and me" I wanted to dress as comfortable as possible. I didn't care, as long as I was clean and neat. In general. I thought a lot about what I was going to wear to my session. Sometimes I wore something new so that my T would compliment me.

[fallenangel337]

I usually just wear whatever. Given my hectic schedule, I've been known to show up in everything from my soccer uniform, to even my pj's. I just always want to be as comfortable as possible. T really likes my style, and we usually have some interesting conversations about my clothes. That's also how I found out that T is a Tool fan, like me!

[DLHsSystm]

I agree interesting topic. Usually I go to therapy to work on pretty deep childhood issues that can bring up alot of emotions. We wear a kind of "uniform" . Clean, baggy clothes usually very little make-up. There are times for some reason I feel the need to dress differently. Maybe it is what someone said before. When I talk to my T about "us" I want to feel as if I am talking as an adult to an adult. But who knows? I certainly haven't figured out why we dress the way we do.

[lifelesstraveled]

SAWE, good topic.

I usually go in big baggy sweats that swallow my small frame--I have quite a few pairs so I wear a different pair every week. Usually coupled with a sweat shirt or jacket. I have noticed that I was wearing them too much and T was probably starting to think "doesnt this girl wear anything else other than these huge sweats?" so I changed it up a bit...but the one thing that doesnt change is my need to wear make up. I always always wear make up and always have my hair neatly done and earrings etc.. I feel like it hides something i guess...at one point she said "when i look at you I would think anything is wrong" and I told her, that's the point. Even the pdoc who recently prescribed my anti-ds told me "you don't look depressed, you look clean and neat, you have your make up on etc"... i said yeah b/c I am very good at hiding the fact that I am miserable.

[fallenangel337]

I really like to mess with people's minds, I don't know why... But the first time I saw T and Pdoc, I totally gothed out. I wore some huge bondage pants, chains, dog collars, etc. I wanted to make them think "Oh lord, what have I gotten myself into?" xD But since I've gotten closer to T, and I've realized that it doesn't bother her, I've quit dressing a certain way just for the sake of mindplay.

[3velniai]

wonderful topic, it's so interesting to read everyone’s responses

I always try to go home after work to change from my formal suit to jeans or smth. I do that because when I’m dressed for work, I am the “work” me, I can’t stop pretending everything is fine and all I can talk about is work (which isn’t an issue for me), I don’t have any feelings or any thoughts/insights. I always try to look normal and I try not to wear t-shirts with demons/zombies or other ugly stuff, she already knows I’m a “monster girl” anyway and she obviously doesn’t think it’s the way it should be. I just try to wear something that makes me feel the real me (whoever that is, haven’t met her yet).

[KUREHA]

I always wear black skinny jeans - I have a lot though and whatever tshirt, usually look like I'm going to see a band.
It's impossible to hide anything from my psychologist though, so it wouldn't matter, it's like she can read my mind when I walk through the door.

[fallenangel337]

^^ That's the same way with my T and I...She automatically knows how I'm feeling without me saying a thing, so I guess it doesn't really matter how I present myself. She knows that I present myself in a way that is different from others, so I don't think anything surprises her anymore. :P

[peaches100]

I go to therapy in the middle of my work day, so I'm usually dressed in dress pants and a blouse. I don't wear anything too bright or festive looking because I'm afraid if i look festive, then t won't take my problems seriously and will say, "Well, she looks happy."

[Mouse_]

I wear jeans and white T-shirt every day of the week, its the only regulated aspect about me really.

[sittingatwatersedge]

all - interesting to hear your responses - keep em coming!

one thing - "who you present" may be not so much what you want T to think; could it be much more a matter of how it makes YOU feel - comfortable to help with going through uncomfortable stuff; less business-formal, so you don't carry your armor in there; maybe brown/black because I feel down, closed in, unconfiding....

T once said to me, you just ... seem so ... quiet. I said, yeh, but I am IN HERE you know. OF course she already knew that; but it just doesn't seem to convey.

[chaotic13]

Like everything else in T I tend to go thru phases. When I first started I went in casual work attire. I wanted her to think I had it together but wasn't arrogant or fixated on impressing the outside world. I was not very self confident at the time because I was depressed and very overweight. As I got my weight undercontrol and started to feel better about my body. The clothes got more form fitting and included some attention to accessories. Then I went thru a phase where I wanted to just be comfortable and be able to slip the shoes off and curl up on the couch. I never reached this level of comfort but I was ready :-) Now I go in whatever I'm wearing that day.

Really interesting topic!

I usually go to my T right from work, or I have very little time at home after work before heading out to T, so I'm almost always in my work dress clothes. I've noticed that I have been making a conscious effort not to wear the same thing twice, but my wardrobe is only so big - so that's about to end! I did wear jeans and a casual shirt and sneakers once. My T never comments, one way or the other.

I usually wear contacts, but I'm wearing my glasses today - I'm curious to see if T will notice and say anything. I think I may have chosen to wear the glasses today because I want to tell T about a breakthrough of sorts I had over the weekend, and I'm wondering if I might tear up when talking through it. But I'm happy about the breakthrough, and I chose to wear a brightly-colored shirt - probably not a coincidence.

[lifelesstraveled]

Originally Posted by sittingatwatersedge

all - interesting to hear your responses - keep em coming!

one thing - "who you present" may be not so much what you want T to think; could it be much more a matter of how it makes YOU feel - comfortable to help with going through uncomfortable stuff; less business-formal, so you don't carry your armor in there; maybe brown/black because I feel down, closed in, unconfiding....

T once said to me, you just ... seem so ... quiet. I said, yeh, but I am IN HERE you know. OF course she already knew that; but it just doesn't seem to convey.

my sweats and more recently yoga pants-- are my super casual comfy look. this is because every time I go into T i am uncomfy, regardless of what we are discussing. So i wear comfy clothes to help counter act that discomfort- not sure if it really works tho usually the sweats are for me. the make up and neat hair and jewelry are my effort to hide from T.

[searchingmysoul]

I go to T after work and always bring jeans and a tank top to change into. Jeans and a tank are my real "me" uniform. In the winter I add a sweater or hoodie, but thats pretty much the extent of it and represents who I am mostly.

I have noticed at times that I chose more angsty looking clothing (black vs white, or torn vs intact jeans). At those times we have talked about more difficult subjects. I think at those times my message is "stay away T!!".

I nteresting thread Sitting!!

[sky dancer]

I look like I usually do except I dress up a bit because I'm going from the mountains to a city to see the therapist.

[mightaswelllive]

As a general rule, I never leave the house in sweats. I always wear jeans, a fun top, a sweater, and some sort of jewelry. I think clothes really represent a lot about who a person is. I like to wear clothes I can move and play but also look presentable.. even if most of my clothes have paint on them. I also love exciting patterns and bold colors. I'm not very good at letting people in so my clothes tell people a lot about who I am. When I go to T I wear what I wear on any normal day but I think there have been a few times when I've been in a really bad place and worn whatever I slept in. Sometimes I notice in session I'll take off my earrings or something when I'm talking - I guess that would suggest that maybe I'm hiding behind my clothes?

[Simcha]

Originally Posted by sittingatwatersedge

from a recent PC post >>>>> I could hardly sleep at all last night thinking about today, got up, showered, dressed nice (with 3 top changes trying to decide "who" i wanted to present today), ended up with my "shell" on; clothes that give me that hardened, nothing can f*** with me look...

WOW this totally blew me away.

I realized that I very often end up wearing the same thing on the days I go to see T - brown and black - and had planned to do the same this time. If I had to read it, I'd say it conveys depression and tight self-control (read: distrust).

hmmm.... that's very accurate!! Anyone else?

I very often wear my best drag outfits...

J/K!!!

T is lucky if I decide to shave or brush my hair sometimes. Drag would take WAYYYY too much work. Typically my favorite hat of the hour will do (I have an odd habit of changing my hat throughout the day).

[Brightheart]

Interesting. I always just wore what I normally wear, which is very casual. Sneakers, jeans and a simple shirt. A few times I ducked out of work and so I had my uniform on. I never thought much about dressing up for therapy, but I don't dress up often anyhow. So nothing unusual...just plain old me.

[sunrise]

My T is very casual and so am I. I usually wear cords or khakis and a shirt and a cardigan/jacket of some sort. I got in this habit of wearing clogs to his office for when we did EMDR (I like the gizmos to be under my feet), and I find I still do that ("just in case" although we haven't done EMDR in a long time). I wear necklaces or scarves a lot. I sometimes wear a carved wooden heart on a chain if I'm feeling particularly "loving" or "open" towards T. I also have a necklace with a half dozen brass hearts and this serves the same function. Other times I wear African beaded necklaces--he has commented on these a couple of times so I know he likes them. I really like that T is so casual in his dress

Really I don't try to dress any way with T that I would not otherwise. Part of our work has been for me to learn to be "authentic."

I literally wear jeans and a tshirt and birkenstocks EVERY DAY. In the winter I wear a long sleeve thirt under my short sleeve one and I wear birkenstock CLOGS lolol.

I recently got a couple of....I don't know, maybe blouses? Cotton with a kind of paisley hippie pattern on them and gathered sleeves and waist. They're quite a step up for me, but probably but what most people would wear to be SUPER casual.

Since I've started therapy I have made some subtle changes. I have the new shirts, I've grown my hair out long, and I have had my ears pierced. I still don't wear make up though

I'm just me, I guess.

[hangingon]

Interesting topic
I almost always plan my appt so that I have time to go home and shower first. I have never paid much attention to it but I always go casually dressed with a nice pair of jeans and a cute top. I also wear khaki's, or capri's. As someone else stated, I don't like to wear the same outfit twice but it will happen lol..

I always go with makeup on and my hair straightened. I have wavy hair and I hate when it curls some. In the 7 months that I have seen her, I think I went twice without straightening my hair.

I always wear perfume as well. When I was depressed, no one knew because I always kept myself up. I think it was to hide how I really felt inside; I didn't want to draw that attention to myself. Plus, I am a bit of a perfectionist, so I am sure that played into it. I have to be neat.

I notice my T looking at my attire sometimes. One time I had went to my session on a day that I had hospital clinicals and I was dressed very neatly, she said, is that what you wear to the hospital, I said no I have a uniform for that.

This past session, I showed her a picture I recently drew (she didn't know that I liked to draw) and she asked me a ton of questions about it. One was what about the hair, what I thought about it. I said, I don't know its wavy. She said kind of free falling huh, not all in place and no clips ect. Then she asked if I had drew makeup on it, I said yes, she looks better with makeup lol. She asked if I would be willing to bring more of my pictures in, maybe I will at some point.

She probably notices what I wear more than I think but she doesn't usually comment on what I am wearing, just once in a while.

[deliquesce]

pdoc knows i put on my "therapy face". he made a mention of it once recently, when he had to call me to convince me to come in, and spoke to someone very different to the person i usually present as in session. i managed to get there a few hours later () and the first thing he said was "ah, you've put on your therapy face".

i typically wear casual stuff - what i would go to uni in. so jeans, tops, dresses, whatever. the biggest concession to not showing up with my therapy face is when i sometimes don't wear earrings. deli not wearing earrings = very depressed.

if i want to convey "wow, i'm happy today" etc i've go this red dress which i wear. it's weird - many guys that i know (including pdoc and T) have made comments about how "healthy" and "happy" and "well" i look when i wear that dress. this is even when i'm dying inside. so maybe it's the colour, or something, but it's a useful thing to know when i want pp to think something about me in particular.

[Brightheart]

No makeup for me either. I've never worn it, though.

T would dress nicely, but not in a suit and tie or anything. I think for a long while I was the most aware of the shoes he was wearing. Sometimes boots and sometimes dress shoes. I suppose I was staring at the floor quite a bit in the beginning. Nice shoes, though.