Disclosing to T

Hi, I've been reading a lot of the posts here, and I noticed many people don't tell their T things-either emotions, thoughts, feelings about T, past....some things I see are painful or scary, others seem less emotional.

I'm sort of confused. I told my past Ts everything. I'm scared or feel shameful about things, but want to tell everything....and right away. So I do. Just 3 weeks ago, I started seeing a new T who I really, really like .

After reading a lot of the posts here, I'm feeling a bit apprehenisive this time. I wonder sometimes if Ts will think I'm more 'messed up' then other patients since I tell everything right away. I never realized how many people keep thoughts from their Ts until I read this forum.

For ex. - Like when he asks me how I felt when I return for our next session, I'll tell him exactly how I felt - I was a bit irritated when I left because I felt I wanted more of his attention, that he seemed a bit disengaged last time (as compared with previous session), and I somehow felt he didn't really want me to be there (this is my oversensitive reaction, rather than him, I think)...etc.

Does anyone else disclose everything right away? Could this be a sign I may have an issue behind this?

You are NOT NOT NOT messed up. We've all had different experiences.

Some of have trust issues, where it's hard to be completely honest at the beginning of things - we all go at our own pace. Some of us are more of an "open book" in therapy than others as well.

I know, that for me - when I click with a T, I become a blabbermouth. So telling people (not just Ts either!) everything on my mind all at once. Sometimes it seems to surprise Ts - but I've seen ... 4 Ts in four years (give or take) ... I'd rather just rehash the stuff I already know about myself, and work on what I don't know about myself.

Does telling T everything right away bother you as your own behaviour? Or are you comfortable doing so? Do you regret whatever you've said afterwards to your T?

If it doesn't bother you, if you're comfortable doing so, and if you don't regret going the speed you're going with your T - then don't worry about it.

It's your therapy, and you shouldn't compare it to anyone elses.

As for me - I admit I'm a bit quick to go through some things because I want to be "cured" sooner rather than later - so I'd rather rush than process stuff. So I'm trying to not force myself to go so quickly. But whatever works I'd say.

I'd say being so open with your T must be a real blessing - it's nice to connect with someone well

I think it's wonderful that you can be so open with your T, I wish I could tell my T stuff like you do. For me it's like this: I really really want to tell T everything, but I just can't. It's very hard for me to tell her at least something, because I have huge trust issues. One of my goals in therapy is to be able to be open

Courage is good.

~Blossom~ Welcome

We are all different and we are all at different places. Many of us are learning to be as in touch with our feelings as you already are

So, I guess you are way ahead of those of us who struggle with being able to be open.

Hi Blossom, Doesn't sound your messed up because you like to say it like it is straight away...sounds like you are particularly open to the theraputic experience.

(((((Blossom)))))) ---

I used to think that I told my T everything about how I felt. Now I've just started to realize how many emotions I've had but not known it, not been able to put them into words. Now I'm really struggling to get out the emotions that conflict with what I think. Evenso, I am also overly disclosive and usually always regret it later. I don't really understand the reasons behind it. I think it's a good thing that you are doing this with your T, that is where you should be doing it=) Welcome to PC!

Thanks for all your responses!! I even mentioned this to him already. He said a lot of people have trouble opening up (the obvious) but he followed by giving me an example of a past client who wanted to disclose everything. He said he was a patient for 30 years and got much better. Ok-so I didn't think to ask him at the time-but when I left I thought-how could someone need therapy for 30 years?? Thinking, do people who want to tell all have some kind of major issue?

You know, I have trust issues like many. I've been through a lot of abuse, but I do think most people generally have good intentions. But I don't automatically trust everyone-for ex., coworkers, strangers. I've been abused by authority figures in the past, but for some reason, I'ts almost as if I'm "automatically" trustful of people who are authority figures, or who exhude authority. It doesn't make sense. Authority figures (I include parents in this description too) are mostly the one's who were abusive to me.

Christina, my mindset seems somewhat similar to yours-I want to get moving, make progress! I'm super motivated. No, I don't feel bad afterwords for having said things, just the normal embarassment at times I guess, but I recently had an experience w/another T w/with the same type of background-I told him everything in 3 sessions--and he didn't want to treat me. I've had 3 Ts in the past, and never had that happen before. So I guess I'm scared of his reaction to me. I'm scared he wont' want to treat me.

For example-If someone were to disclose everything in a month, wouldn't they seem to have more issues than someone who took 2 years to tell everything? I guess I'm a bit paranoid since that last experience, since I 've never had these thoughts before. I'm thinking the T must be thinking - wow, in 3 sessions I find out she has all these issues-I wonder what else is there! In reality, in the 3 sessions with the last T, I told all major issues-of course, millions of details are not addressed, etc. But generally, everything significant as to things I've done and things that have been done to me.

I feel bad for those who want to tell but can't. That sounds frustrating . I'm really down on my self esteem, but yeah, courage is one thing I can say I have. That's something.

It seems it can be dangerous to be too trusting. I was recently in a sort of minor car accident-well a guy in a truck just moved into my lane and dented the back door of my car. He happened to be a cop (not working at the time). He asked me if we could not put it through the insurance. So I didn't call the police or insurance. Sent him an estimate for the damage(and he did call me back). But that's wrong-I could have been screwed big time. (Well he still did not pay me yet but he seems to have the intentions) Not an example of doing something dangerous, but because he was a cop (showed me his business card/offered to show badge) I just automatically trusted that he would pay me for the damage. But there are bad cops out there. He could have later said--I've never met that person in my life....I mean, I was stupid for not calling the police. I'm unsure of myself sometimes..

You are all really helpful to talk to.

Blossom, I think it's great that you're so open with your T, and that means you're also very self-aware - a good thing!

I usually think that I'm not holding back with T, and then later realize that there was more I could've shared, or emotions I could've shown. I told T that there's always more there, that's job security for her.

Like others have said, different people release different amounts at different times in T. No one should say that you've released too much or too little, too fast or too slow. It's YOUR therapy, so as long as you feel comfortable in what you say, that's all that matters.

You are doing great. I think that it is great you are able to be open and share with your T. I try and I wish I could share some of the painful feelings I have and experiences. I start and then something happens and I just stop. I know my T can see that I struggle with somethings when it comes to sharing. I can see the pain and shared frustration in my T's face. I know (even though I sometimes doubt) my T is there for me when I am ready to spill it all. Sometimes when I share about how I feel about sessions I feel so embarrassed and guilty for having negative thoughts about my therapy. But my T shared with me that if I don't let her know she is guessing and it is not productive for me. You have nothing to feel bad about. You are doing your part in getting healthy and that is great!

I tell my therapist everything right from the beginning. I pay out of my own pocket for my therpay sessions so when I went into therapy I decided I wasnt going to be spending money just to sit in a room with another person. I could do that in class, at home or just anywhere. I was going to therapy for more than just having a place to sit and my therapist and I stare at each other. I was in therapy to talk about my problems and learn how to make things better. so thats what I do right from the beginning. To me it would be a waste of my $150.00 per hour not to be honest with my therapist. It would also be a waste of my therapists time too if I didnt tell her things right from the beginning. She cant help me if Im hiding things from her.

I agree that it's great to be able to start right out and tell everything to your T. I spent a long time with my first T not being able to tell her much. I just couldn't. So like others have said, some people want to be open but are inhibited. Others like you can share right away.

Something about the way I am, which may or not be applicable to you. With other Ts, I told them my secrets soon, in the first few sessions. It was easy because they were still stangers to me so I wasn't embarrassed. I just blurted things out with no real FEELINGS. As time went on, I became more inhibited because I had a relationship with my T and I was afraid of what she would think. So, when I revisited those issues again, it was harder to tell her some things. I wasn't just reporting, I was feeling. I'm not saying this is what is happening to you, Blossom, but just wanted to throw it out as something to think about.