will call pdoc on mon but need help until then

sorry. (10 characters)

((((((((((((((((deli))))))))))))))))))

Ugh, that sounds horrible. I'm sorry you have to deal with that over the weekend.

First - can you call pdoc over the weekend? I'm guessing you can, and I'm betting that when you talk to him on Monday and tell him this has been going on all weekend, he'll really really really wish you would have called him. I know it feels uncomfortable, but I think he would want you to do that for yourself.

Second - when it gets too loud in my head (which is the worst feeling and I hate that you are going through it), sometimes it helps me to get OUT of my house. Being in my house seems to make it worse. If I can get together with friends, or go for a hike, or even go and wander around stores (and I HATE shopping, but I hate the noise in my head more) - that will give me a break for a while. It doesn't make it go away, but it's a little reprieve.

Third - Have you tried writing stuff down? Sometimes if I write down whatever is looping in my head, it clears it out for a bit - sometimes for a few minutes, sometimes longer.

Last - giving that noise in my head a voice - telling T what is going on, even if it's embarrassing or scary or whatever - is usually what quiets it down for a long time eventually. Which loops me back to....please call pdoc.

T told me once when I was in a bad, bad place, "what you are feeling isn't who you are".

Take gentle care, sweet deli

thank you tree for replying .

pdoc has said something similar - i'm not allowed to hurt myself because i'd be hurting the wrong person.

it is night time now and tomorrow is sunday, so i can wait until mon. i think he will call me by tues though if there is no contact, so i just need to be good until then.

i deleted the original post because im not allowed to keep it up. but im grateful that you read it and responded, tree. thank you .

((((Deli))))

(((((((Deli)))))))))) --
Tree had some great ideas! Continue posting here. I like getting in my car and just driving. Thinking about you.

(((melba & anti)))

tomorrow is monday but i might wait to see how i'm going. i've been doing better today.

LOL, anti, i have a driving phobia so i don't think that would work too well. i also don't have a car, so it could be problematic. maybe i can make a cardboard box car and choo choo around the suburbs in it.

Glad you're doing better today, deli! Take good care of yourself today!

Hope it goes ok tomorrow

Take Care

((deli)) I hope you continue to feel better.

Sometimes time helps.
And the appointment day getting closer can be very relieving.

I have just started a new daily thing of getting out. I found a really cute little park near me that is just the right size for someone who needs to see all areas at the same time. PLUS, my roommate doesn't know it exists, even tho it is like 5 min or less driving time away.
So that is my new practice - go there, walk around it a few times, sit on a blanket with my study book and stay there as long as i can deal.
It gets me away from mom, away from my unhappiness, depression, noise in my head....
It gets me NEW VIEWS which is always important when one is working to implement change.
((((((((((Deli))))))))))))))