I'm on my final week until T is back from her vacation. It has been rather interesting, to see where these weeks off have taken me emotionally. Right now, I'm at the phase where I just want T back NOW!!! T has had her fun, now come back and pay attention to me!

I've posted before that I looked up my T on Facebook - her profile is blocked (this is a good thing), but I can see her picture. I looked her up a few days ago - she changed her pic, and it looks like it was taken while she's been on vacation, she's all tan and in the sun and all smiles. It actually made me happy to see T looking so relaxed and happy, but I also feel guilty for looking at the picture. And I don't want to tell T that I saw the picture, I feel like I crossed some sort of boundary by looking her up on Facebook.

So, 9 days til I see T. I've already thought about what I want to discuss, but then I remembered that I'm supposed to be staying in the moment and just let emotions come up, then talk about those. It's hard, though - I feel like we lost all this time, I don't want to go in and just sit there and see what comes up! I'm hoping this week flies by, and then I'll have a relaxing 3-day weekend before I see T. And then it's back to where we left off, which is digging deeper and deeper - I can't believe I'm actually looking forward to wading through all that emotional muck, but I am!

[BlueMoon6]

I'm on my final week until T is back from her vacation. It has been rather interesting, to see where these weeks off have taken me emotionally. Right now, I'm at the phase where I just want T back NOW!!! T has had her fun, now come back and pay attention to me!

Dream.....can I have a hssy fit with you? Lets hissy together...

I've posted before that I looked up my T on Facebook - her profile is blocked (this is a good thing), but I can see her picture. I looked her up a few days ago - she changed her pic, and it looks like it was taken while she's been on vacation, she's all tan and in the sun and all smiles. It actually made me happy to see T looking so relaxed and happy, but I also feel guilty for looking at the picture. And I don't want to tell T that I saw the picture, I feel like I crossed some sort of boundary by looking her up on Facebook.

You have a great attitude. A nice caring for your t that you want her rested and happy. That is very loving of you Whereas I am acting like a spoiled little selfish baby....dont go and get rested and happy...just dont go...stay and take care of ME!

So, 9 days til I see T. I've already thought about what I want to discuss, but then I remembered that I'm supposed to be staying in the moment and just let emotions come up, then talk about those. It's hard, though - I feel like we lost all this time, I don't want to go in and just sit there and see what comes up! I'm hoping this week flies by, and then I'll have a relaxing 3-day weekend before I see T. And then it's back to where we left off, which is digging deeper and deeper - I can't believe I'm actually looking forward to wading through all that emotional muck, but I am!

I think our t's are coming back at the same time....what day is your appt? Im seeing mine on tues (wk after this one). I think you have a lot of material for your appt. Just go back and read on PC and you wont just sit there and see what comes up! You have a close and trusting relationship with her and you will get a lot done. Im proud of you for making it this far. Its been a long tmie and you did it!

(((((((((((((((((dreamseeker)))))))))))))))))

You're in the home stretch!

My T is on facebook - I can see his picture and his list of friends. I've told him that I've looked at it AND that I've looked at his list of friends Sometimes when I need reassurance, I'll look at his picture. I didn't know what his reaction would be...but he basically just said I was looking for my safety, and it's okay. He's so weirdly understanding

I'm sure if your T is on facebook, she KNOWS clients will see her picture on there. I doubt she minds at all.

Originally Posted by clk6

Dream.....can I have a hssy fit with you? Lets hissy together...

clk - Yes, let's hissy together - all are welcome! WWAAAHHHHH!!!

You have a great attitude. A nice caring for your t that you want her rested and happy. That is very loving of you Whereas I am acting like a spoiled little selfish baby....dont go and get rested and happy...just dont go...stay and take care of ME!

Thanks, clk - it is really good to see her all happy in that pic, it does warm my heart. But I also want her to end this vacation already and come back already!

I think our t's are coming back at the same time....what day is your appt? Im seeing mine on tues (wk after this one). I think you have a lot of material for your appt. Just go back and read on PC and you wont just sit there and see what comes up! You have a close and trusting relationship with her and you will get a lot done. Im proud of you for making it this far. Its been a long tmie and you did it!

clk - Yes, my appt. is a week from Tuesday as well - we're gonna make it! LOL that I have a lot of material for my appt., I guess I should go back and read posts over the past few weeks. I feel like we're still working on our relationship - I do trust her, but I still hold back, and I don't want to hold back - there's something we can discuss right there! Ugh, I get butterflies in stomach just thinking about that convo!

I'm sure if your T is on facebook, she KNOWS clients will see her picture on there. I doubt she minds at all.

Tree - thanks for sharing that. I think I'm worried that if T knows I looked at her pic on Facebook (and yes, I also checked out her friend list ), then she'll change her settings so I can't see her pic anymore. And I also feel like I did something wrong by looking her up on there. But you're right - T must know that her clients can look her up on there. I don't know if I can tell her or not - do you think it's important that I share that with her? I've also considered calling her answering machine, just to hear her voice, but I've resisted that impulse so far. But I miss T!

Originally Posted by dreamseeker9

do you think it's important that I share that with her? I've also considered calling her answering machine, just to hear her voice, but I've resisted that impulse so far. But I miss T!

No, I don't think you HAVE to tell her. I have this thing about telling my T EVERYTHING...otherwise it eats at me. But then I'll look back and realize whatever I thought was such a HUGE DEAL (like looking at him on facebook) really wasn't a big deal at all. I judge myself about 54759024570924375 times more harshly than T does.

Why not call her answering machine?? You don't have to leave a message. If it would be reassuring to hear her voice, there's no harm in you calling to listen to it.

I hope the time until T returns passes quickly. I know it's hard to wait.

Originally Posted by treehouse

No, I don't think you HAVE to tell her. I have this thing about telling my T EVERYTHING...otherwise it eats at me. But then I'll look back and realize whatever I thought was such a HUGE DEAL (like looking at him on facebook) really wasn't a big deal at all. I judge myself about 54759024570924375 times more harshly than T does.

Why not call her answering machine?? You don't have to leave a message. If it would be reassuring to hear her voice, there's no harm in you calling to listen to it.

Thanks, Tree - I also judge myself so much more harshly than T does. But I think I'm a bit afraid that she'd get freaked out and would terminate me if I told her that I found her on Facebook, I just feel like I did something wrong. Same with calling her answering machine - not that it would be wrong, just more really needy and desperate of me, and I don't want to be that way. On the other hand, it would make me feel better to hear her voice.

I am feeling better today, though - it helps that I'm starting my final week before seeing T next Tuesday.

[BlueMoon6]

Originally Posted by dreamseeker9

But I think I'm a bit afraid that she'd get freaked out and would terminate me if I told her that I found her on Facebook, I just feel like I did something wrong. Same with calling her answering machine - not that it would be wrong, just more really needy and desperate of me, and I don't want to be that way. On the other hand, it would make me feel better to hear her voice.

I am feeling better today, though - it helps that I'm starting my final week before seeing T next Tuesday.

(((((Dream))))) I SO know how you are feeling. I have called my t's machine to hear her voice and then she sees mynumber and ralized I did that. So Istarted leaving messages that I am just calling to hear her voice on the machine. She didnt get freaked out at all. BUT since I read everyone's t's were on facebook I looked up my t and I found her with no picture there. I know its her tho and I would be very surpised if she posted a pic. She seems to be a very private person. Iwould mnever tellher I did that b/c I dont want to seem so needy. But she's gonna get "needy" at the next session thats for sure. I think we both have a lot of material.

Yes, my appt. is a week from Tuesday as well - we're gonna make it! LOL that I have a lot of material for my appt., I guess I should go back and read posts over the past few weeks. I feel like we're still working on our relationship - I do trust her, but I still hold back, and I don't want to hold back - there's something we can discuss right there! Ugh, I get butterflies in stomach just thinking about that convo!

We're gonna make it Dream, we CAN do this. I am afraid I'll hold back too- out of fear. There is so much to say Im already writing stuff down. And I think youre right...holding back is a good conversation.
I am looking forward to your posts next tuesday

Originally Posted by clk6

(((((Dream))))) I SO know how you are feeling. I have called my t's machine to hear her voice and then she sees mynumber and ralized I did that. So Istarted leaving messages that I am just calling to hear her voice on the machine. She didnt get freaked out at all. BUT since I read everyone's t's were on facebook I looked up my t and I found her with no picture there. I know its her tho and I would be very surpised if she posted a pic. She seems to be a very private person. Iwould mnever tellher I did that b/c I dont want to seem so needy. But she's gonna get "needy" at the next session thats for sure. I think we both have a lot of material.

clk

I actually thought about the caller ID issue - my work number comes up as unavailable, so she wouldn't know it was me. Having this convo makes me want to call and hear her voice, especially since my usual session is on Mondays. I just might do it!

I think both our T's will get our neediness at the next session! I agree that we both have a lot of material. One more week, we can make it! I have some things this week to keep me busy, so that's good. But I think the 'why do I hold back' convo may be a great topic for next week! I look forward to reading your posts next Tuesday, too, clk!

[BlueMoon6]

I actually thought about the caller ID issue - my work number comes up as unavailable, so she wouldn't know it was me. Having this convo makes me want to call and hear her voice, especially since my usual session is on Mondays. I just might do it!

Dream...this is too funny! I want to take you on my vaca to the beach so we can have t conversation....my h gets real sick of that convo real fast I thnk he gets jealous..... My caller ID is also weird...I have Vonage and it comes up as just my number, no name but she knows its me by now. And also....my usual appt is mondays too...but I have a tues appt! I a m so upset! She is actually back on monday and I coulndt get my monday appt! I freaked out. Im still freaking out. But I'll be calm and deal with it.....
Will you call????Please post and tell me! Its now 3pm and still no call...she must be enjoying her vacation Grrrrrr......

I think both our T's will get our neediness at the next session! I agree that we both have a lot of material. One more week, we can make it! I have some things this week to keep me busy, so that's good. But I think the 'why do I hold back' convo may be a great topic for next week! I look forward to reading your posts next Tuesday, too, clk!

What are you doing this week to keep busy? The why do I hold back is a great opening convo starter. I might start with trust and inner child stuff....and why do I not work on some things with her etc....Or I might just bop her over the head for leaving me....

7 more days...not including today and tuesday.....

Sure, I'll go to the beach with you, clk!

I didn't call... I may call tomorrow. I journaled tonight about some insights I had, that helped.

I'm seeing a friend tomorrow night, and then I'm trying acupuncture for the first time on Wednesday evening. Not sure about the rest of the week yet, but I think it will go by quickly.

I hope you heard from your T by now!

[Kiya]

((((((((((((((((Dreamseeker!)))))))))))))))))) hang in there!!!