[confusedteen]

So I e-mailed the school psychologist this past weekend and he got it so today we talked for a period. I feel a little bit better and the things he's said have really stuck with me....
for example
sometimes you have to pull the rubber band back to see the larger picture but that's not comfortable so it goes back to normal and back to habit
I think that is so true because i always go back to what i'm use to because i'm not comfortable being in new situations.
i've been also thinking a lot about something else he said
he said i'm giving my mom the control she wants by getting mad and that's giving into it and i think thats true.....if i want control over my life i need to be more mature and not blow up at anyone well at least try not to.
then he told me that he won't tell anyone else because no one else needs to know unless i am harming myself or others or put others in danger...
but what i'm really wondering if he would tell my parents if i told him about past suicidal things...would he still tell my parents since its not now???
Im not sure i would asume he would but who knows....
well i just thought i would share......

[VickiesPath]

Originally Posted by confusedteen

So I e-mailed the school psychologist this past weekend and he got it so today we talked for a period. I feel a little bit better and the things he's said have really stuck with me....
for example
sometimes you have to pull the rubber band back to see the larger picture but that's not comfortable so it goes back to normal and back to habit
I think that is so true because i always go back to what i'm use to because i'm not comfortable being in new situations.
i've been also thinking a lot about something else he said
he said i'm giving my mom the control she wants by getting mad and that's giving into it and i think thats true.....if i want control over my life i need to be more mature and not blow up at anyone well at least try not to.
then he told me that he won't tell anyone else because no one else needs to know unless i am harming myself or others or put others in danger...
but what i'm really wondering if he would tell my parents if i told him about past suicidal things...would he still tell my parents since its not now???
Im not sure i would asume he would but who knows....
well i just thought i would share......

It is really cool that you had a positive experience with the counselor, it sounds like it turned out ok.

Some of the information that he gave you is good advice for all of us here about trying to see the larger picture.

Maybe if you get the chance to talk to him more, you'll grow more comfortable with him and get a better feel for whether or not you feel comfortable discussing certain things with him.

Good going.

[Seabirdanne]

Yay! I love it when people check back in! Unfortunately, I don't have an answer, either. Like Vickie says, just give it time and maybe follow your instincts.

[Rmdctc]

Im really happy that you went and talked to someone. I hope things will continue to get better for you!

[Elysium]

Hey...

Nice work!! I'm proud of you for taking the initiative to reach out to your school psychologist for guidance. That is a very brave and mature thing.

I'm glad you had a good experience too and I hope that you can feel comfortable going back to this person for guidance for help should you need it again.

If you wanted to share info on past SI stuff with them, you could, but I'm not sure if they would need to tell your folks. I wouldn't think so because it's in the past. You could always check back in with them and just pose an open ended question to them like "If I told you about something that happened in the past that might not have been good, would you need to tell my parents?" He may be able to tell you yes or no, and you could make your mind up at that time if you wanted to share.

Anyway, you've got something to think on for a bit, but take your time. As far as your anger goes, this will take some practice. (It does for everyone; even adults) One of the first things to accomplish there is learning to notice when it's happening or about to happen and just being able to find what triggers it. Then you can work towards learning what you can do to either prevent the trigger, or intervene after you have been triggered.

Hang in there!!

[confusedteen]

so everyone says that going to talk to someone is a brave and mature things to do but how come i can't see it that way??
I don't feel either of those things...although I have been told a lot that I act way more mature than my age but thats because at some point you have to grow up some and get over some things.
I do feel like I should go talk to him again just because i feel like i left somewhat confused and I held back but thats just because I don't know him that well yet and I'm afraid that the thing I so badly want to get out in the open is that one thing that he would have to tell my parents about.
me and my mom have started fighting again too....
she gets mad that when i get home from school and work everyday that i just go up to my room and close the door because aparently i'm isolating myself from the family and i'm not doing what she wants me to do and i get a lecture everyday about why i should eat and why am i not eating dinner and its always something
its not worth talking to her sometimes you just have to walk away. i don't know how to be around her sometimes.
anyway i should stop blabing on and on about my problems because if i do this could get scary long so i shall stop
thanks to everyone who wrote a reply
i think i'm gonna go see him this coming week to talk maybe about the stuff that scares me beyond beilief but that is a BIG maybe
lots of love
<3 <3
Morgan
<3 <3

[Yoda]

[VickiesPath]

Hey Morgan,

I think that the reason everyone keeps telling you that talking to the counselor was brave and mature is because even adults have a hard time talking to people about their problems.

There's another reason, too. I learned this in my development classes when I was in college. For kids, all their lives its their parents who are the adults that they look to for guidance and learning. When kids become teens, they start the process of becoming adults themselves and they don't always get along with their parents (duh!). So, this is a rough time for them. Suddenly they don't like the people they used to trust. Even though it may not seem this way on the surface, their world is shaken up badly. Their security is shot. So, kids your age are left in limbo, wondering who to trust and what to do.

Then along come all these strangers (us people online) suggesting that you to go to your school counselor. You don't know if that is the right thing or not. But after considering it, you believe that it is because you decide to trust us. That is a very big thing for you to go and talk with another person that you don't know well but who's supposed to be able to help you. It turns out that he did. So, that is why everyone is telling you that it was a brave and very mature thing to do. Because you trusted. And because you cared enough about yourself to help yourself. Even some grownups can't do that for themselves.

[confusedteen]

Originally Posted by Vickie in Phoenix

Hey Morgan,

I think that the reason everyone keeps telling you that talking to the counselor was brave and mature is because even adults have a hard time talking to people about their problems.

There's another reason, too. I learned this in my development classes when I was in college. For kids, all their lives its their parents who are the adults that they look to for guidance and learning. When kids become teens, they start the process of becoming adults themselves and they don't always get along with their parents (duh!). So, this is a rough time for them. Suddenly they don't like the people they used to trust. Even though it may not seem this way on the surface, their world is shaken up badly. Their security is shot. So, kids your age are left in limbo, wondering who to trust and what to do.

Then along come all these strangers (us people online) suggesting that you to go to your school counselor. You don't know if that is the right thing or not. But after considering it, you believe that it is because you decide to trust us. That is a very big thing for you to go and talk with another person that you don't know well but who's supposed to be able to help you. It turns out that he did. So, that is why everyone is telling you that it was a brave and very mature thing to do. Because you trusted. And because you cared enough about yourself to help yourself. Even some grownups can't do that for themselves.

Thank you...
Everything you just said made so much sense in my head. I understand why people say that now. You just totally opened my eyes to that and your totally right. The weird thing to me is that I have no problem trusting him and really anyone I don't know that well but I have huge problems trusting people I've known my entire life that say that I can trust them with anything and will always be there for me. I think it's because people you know really well have a higher chance of betraying you. I also agree with what you said about how kids look up to there parents for guidance but as teens we don't always like our parents so much. I know its just part of being a teenager and some teenagers don't like there parents but a lot of them do and I envy that. I mean I wish I could trust them enough to be like hey ya know what things are not good for me and I'm doing something about it but I can't even say that to them. Went I went in there to talk to him last week...first time ever meeting this guy that I know or should be able to help and i'm shaking like a crazy person I was so nervous but I just talked and it helped when I didn't think it would. I understand why some of the things are the way they are but I don't understand the rest of it. The rest of this mess just goes right over my head. I am trying to learn how to be a better person and how to trust the people in my life but it's so much harder than i thought it would be. I mean is it really necessary for us to fight about everything?? But we do and something needs to change for that to stop. I may not be the person who she wants and I may not do the things she wants me to but this is who I am and she needs to except it. My family thinks i'm this materialistic, dist, superficial, person and yeah i may have a little bit of those things in me but that does not mean that's all who I am because I am so much more than what they give me credit for. Just because I put time into my appearance does not mean I am a person that just wants everything to be about me because I don't want anything to be about me. Hopefully things will get better with time and talking and hopefully my school psychologist can help me talk to my parents and the rest of the family and help me show them that yeah Im a different person now and I'm not all the things they think I am but I am still a good person. I just want to be able to communicate to them that I am not trying to hurt them, I'm not trying to start and argument and I'm not trying to do the opposite of everything they want me to be and want me to do.
I AM JUST ME. thats all I know how to be is myself. if they don't like well that just sucks for them and I guess we won't have a relationship.
<3 <3
So much love
<3 <3
Morgan

[Seabirdanne]

You are brave, Morgan. You said you were really nervous and everything -- that's what makes you brave. I'm a veteran, and I have this hotline magnet on my fridge, and it says "It takes the courage and strength of a warrior to ask for help!" Yeah, it's over the top, but, still, it's true. And if it takes courage for veterans to ask for help, it takes courage for people in high school. (The number is 1-800-273-TALK, by the way, and it's not just for veterans.)

It doesn't seem like you're getting a lot of positive messages at home right now, and that's too bad. That makes talking to your school psychologist all the more important. You seem like a sensible person to me and your heart seems to be in the right place; believe in yourself even if those around you aren't giving you the positive feedback you need. And maybe do some nice gestures sometimes. If your mom's upset when you come home and go to your room, could you give her a hug before you go up there? Maybe it wouldn't do any good, but maybe you'd make her week. She sounds worried about you, and sometimes all that other stuff is just a parent's way of trying to find an easy fix. ("If he'd just dress differently and eat his green beans, everything would be okay!") But that's hard for anyone outside your house to judge.

You're still worried about what to tell your psychologist. I like Elysium's advice. Start off by using a hypothetical situation. Say something like, "What if someone did something kind of self-destructive in the past and told you about it? Would you tell their parents?" Then you'd know. No more mystery. And you've said again and again that you really want to tell him, so maybe you should just honor that and tell him. But that's for you to decide.