[crystalrose]

talked about or asked about your umm . . . . . . sexual feelings or behaviours, not asking for tmi posts but how you felt. I almost chocked on my own saliva and blushed to the color of a tomato when she asked. Omg. I eventually answered pdoc questions but felt very weird and embarrassed..

[sunrise]

Did you ask your pdoc why she wanted to know? If I didn't see a good reason for a question (and they were unable to explain themselves adequately), then I might not answer. Or if I did not want to share due to privacy or lack of trust, then I also would not. But it has never really come up for me, so it hasn't been an issue. I think once my T asked me if I felt shame in the context of some of my H's extracurricular sexual behaviors, but that has been it. My T or PNP knowing my specific sexual behaviors is not relevant to the issues I am working on in therapy.

Originally Posted by crystalrose

but felt very weird and embarrassed.

Just remember, you do not need to answer every question they ask.

[deliquesce]

yeah. i died. i was 20 and i died.

but now i think it is kind of cool that pdoc went there. shows he's interested in everything and knows that sexuality is a big part of life. i think he asked in the context of medication side effects the first time (he said "libido" and i hid behind my jumper) because i was with my ex back then.

we've since talked about sexuality a bit more but nothing as cringe worthy as the first time. probably because i've grown up a bit but also because he's 100% professional and i like that he uses direct language with me.

eta: like sunny said - you don't have to answer. for me, it's always come up because it's been relevant. medication side effects, csa, being in a same-sex relationship, exploring hetero-dating etc. it can be uncomfortable but it's never been inappropriate, and because i trust pdoc a lot it's kind of ok to go there. he models being ok with talking about it, so i guess it's ok for me to go there too.

[gravyyy]

Yeah, when I was inpatient last summer the pdoc in there was asking me about whether straight, bi, or lesbian. I answered because it seems completely relevant somehow. Then she went on and was asking about relationships and masturbation of all things!!! I was really shocked she asked about that and my face had to turn like 500 shades of red, but I did answer when I recovered from the shock. I really, really liked that pdoc... I still don't know why she asked, but we talked about sex for a good 15 minutes!!!!

[~Blossom~]

lol - my T asked about sex only in response to bringing up a past romantic/sexual relationships. We didn't go into detail. I think the Freudian type theory explores a lot about sex. And we can gain insights about ourselves from our sexual fantasies, some believe. I'm thinking of this differently than CSA....though they can be related.

But I don't have a problem discussing this sort of thing. I do think I would be uncomfortable at first, but not unwilling. How would you even refer to sexual acts or body parts when discussing lovers or masturbation? Do you reference words in the same manner as you would a boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse - or would you use clinical terms? Funny to think about, but now I'm wondering. How graphic would/should the words you choose be?

I suppose if I were talking about CSA, I'd use the more clinical terms.

I don't know about references to lovers or masturbation though! gravvy??

It's understandable to be embarassed. I think, though, Ts - if they are experienced - have heard it all. Just personally never got "there" with T yet..but thinking of many past discussions with my OBGYN, I don't get embarassed...can you think of it that way - as if you were talking to OBGYN? Would that help lighten things up?

[~Blossom~]

Originally Posted by deliquesce

yeah. i died. i was 20 and i died.

but now i think it is kind of cool that pdoc went there. shows he's interested in everything and knows that sexuality is a big part of life. i think he asked in the context of medication side effects the first time (he said "libido" and i hid behind my jumper) because i was with my ex back then.

we've since talked about sexuality a bit more but nothing as cringe worthy as the first time. probably because i've grown up a bit but also because he's 100% professional and i like that he uses direct language with me.

eta: like sunny said - you don't have to answer. for me, it's always come up because it's been relevant. medication side effects, csa, being in a same-sex relationship, exploring hetero-dating etc. it can be uncomfortable but it's never been inappropriate, and because i trust pdoc a lot it's kind of ok to go there. he models being ok with talking about it, so i guess it's ok for me to go there too.

Deliquesce-you said that so well...That's why I'd be open to talking about sex with T...My sexuality is a big part of me. And I, too, trust T...Since I brought this up with my last response,what exactly is "direct language" concerning sex? Curious here.

[polarsmom]

Yeah, we had a brief conversation about it. I am trying to remember exactly how or why our conversation went that direction. Oh, I think it was because we were talking about the side effects of Prozac. And I mentioned that I have no desire what-so-ever anymore. Didn't have that problem before. And he asked if I was sure it didn't have anything to do with what was going on in my life or if my depression had gotten worse. Other than that we haven't talked too much about sex. I am pretty sure I would feel embarrased but would talk about it if I felt that it was necessary.

[Yoda]

Quite a few years following my BF's death both my therapist and my shrink suggested that since I have no interest in meeting real people because I no longer trust that I perhaps might consider toys. Turned out to be a fine idea though at the time I thought they were both loons.

And then there was the time in 2007 when I went from extreme mania to extreme depression in a brief time and went to an ED asking to be admitted to their psych unit. My regular shrink did not admit there so I got this young female doc that looked to be fresh out of school. I mentioned her to my regular shrink a few weeks after I was discharged and he asked me if she was pretty because he was looking for a girlfriend. I said, "well I'd do her". He looked at me in surprise and said, "I didn't know you were bi". I said, "Well, doc, in the past fifteen years I guess it's just never come up" and chuckled.

[lily99]

But I don't have a problem discussing this sort of thing. I do think I would be uncomfortable at first, but not unwilling. How would you even refer to sexual acts or body parts when discussing lovers or masturbation? Do you reference words in the same manner as you would a boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse - or would you use clinical terms? Funny to think about, but now I'm wondering. How graphic would/should the words you choose be?
I suppose if I were talking about CSA, I'd use the more clinical terms.
I don't know about references to lovers or masturbation though! gravvy?

I was thinking about this too :P I'm quite young and sometimes I feel embarrassed using the clinical terms over more casual terms because I don't feel "adult enough". But I know it's ok to speak casually about it.... I don't swear in therapy but I absolutely love it when T says f***! Dunno why... haha. But anyway it's a nice reminder that I don't have to edit/censor my language.

[googley]

I talked about it, but usually it only comes up in terms of medication side effects and libido. And I did use the clinical terms as it made it more comfortable. I was talking to male pdocs. If it had been my female T, the language would probably been different (and the discussion longer).

yup. the very first time i ever went to see the evil first t during one of the series of intake questions she asked a bunch of very pointed sexual questions.

maybe they would have had a purpose if i was there for another reason but i was there for my drinking problem. i think it was pretty clear that i ventured into the land of total sheer panic with her questions. don't know what i said (if anything) just know i felt like i wanted to die right there on the spot.

always wondered what the point was. given her abusive and overly sexual behavior later on...it seems she just got her rocks off (for the lack of a better more professional term) listenenting to everyone else';s stuff. she was also physcially abusive in a sexual manner.

yeah...not a good first experience with a t.

[Amazonmom]

My T asked me about sex, but only wanted to know if sex was causing a conflict between me and my hubby. I know this is TMI but I also get hypersexual and pester hubby for sex constantly when I am manic. If T thinks I am getting manic she asks about sex LOL

It doesn't bother me when she asks.

[crystalrose]

hey its not tmi, i just wrote that because the purpose of the thread wasn't me seeking tmi from others, its good to share what helps you! Thanks everyone for your discushion. The reason that the pdoc brought up this topic and questions was to diagnose hypomania.

[Brightheart]

I have had a major issue in my life in this general area and actually brought up the topic myself, but then couldn't tell him. After a lot of silence, he started guessing and eventually came up with the answer. I would call that experience brutal and excruciating, but his demeanor during these moments were what really solidified the therapeutic bond between us.

[pachyderm]

What is tmi?

[polarsmom]

Too Much Information

Yes, we talk about it from time to time. Sure it's uncomfortable, but it a relavent part of my therapy so I've learned to tolerate the discomfort in favor of some healing.

[thunderbear]

My therapist has'nt asked yet I hope he don't. I talked about it with my old T but she was a motherly looking person. But my T now reminds me of my dad. He's older and gray and talks like him. That and he has Jesus pictures hanging all over his office. I really don't know what I would say if he brought my sex life up. In my evaluation, he asked if I had been SA even a simple and understandable question like that emarrassed me a little.