I love a-ha moments, but I hate the after effects of them sometimes.

I think there is something so difficult about huge shifts in belief. For me, there is always this part of me asking "what if you're wrong"? It all feels so tenuous...like I've had this glimmer of what could be...but it would be SO easy to slip back into what's familiar.

It makes me want SO BADLY to connect with T. I e-mailed him about my a-ha moment, and he called me and left a message that his work computer is broken so he won't be able to see any e-mails at work for a couple of days. I *think* he said he will read the e-mail tonight, but I'm not sure (it was hard to tell on the message).

I'm not sure what it is I need from T. I guess validation...I need him to tell me that I'm on the right track, that the old beliefs are NOT the truth, that it's okay for me to believe that I can be okay. Right now, I can't help feeling like "what if I'm wrong?"

[Christina86]

I hate those stupid feelings. You think you've got it figured out, someone else proposes something else different or you figure out differently, and you're *mostly* at peace with this new thing - and then you have an "what if" moment. Or several. It's so hard to make progress if our old beliefs (which are usually wrong generally speaking) keep showing back up when we're trying to believe the current ("good") things!

Shifts in belief are hard work and require a lot of reinforcement. If you think it will help, then email him and ask him to call or to email you back. At least then you'll get validation sooner rather than later (like at the next session!)

[sittingatwatersedge]

that's what he is there for, to guide you and validate your progress. All is well, don't fear little Treehouse

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by treehouse

I'm not sure what it is I need from T. I guess validation...I need him to tell me that I'm on the right track, that the old beliefs are NOT the truth, that it's okay for me to believe that I can be okay.

Maybe you also want to share with him that "glimmer of what could be". I am sure he will be thrilled about your vision and warmed that you wanted to share it with him. And he will be able to provide reassurance too. Since email is broken, could you call?

Right now, I can't help feeling like "what if I'm wrong?"

I went back and read your "a-ha" thread and it sure sounded like you were on the right track! If the way you have reframed your thinking is proving helpful to you, then that sounds right to me.

tree, is the a-ha what you mentioned in the other thread about feeling like you can be powerful by moving forward and living your life rather than letting the intrusive thoughts and feelings derail you? if so, then i do think you're on the right track. hopefully, T will get back to you later today but maybe we can support you in the meantime.

i think we can be busy and it can be a distraction or avoidance, or we can be busy because we are now living our lives and not dwelling on or spiraling from things from the past. i think it's all in our motivation but it can be the same action in either scenario. there is probably some sort of balance we have to find between dealing with our issues and living life. i am so not there yet! (oops, i probably should have posted this on your other thread.)

here's some and

[ECHOES]

((tree)) I did that in session last week. I told her about an a-ha, felt good about it a while, then decided I was making too much of it and I didn't know what the um, heck, I was talking about. I did feel better when (after she mulled it over, I could tell), she validated what I said by calling it really important, but that didn't last.

Push-pull... Approach-avoid... or something. I think I felt very exposed and wanted to 'take it back!'.

Originally Posted by ECHOES

I think I felt very exposed and wanted to 'take it back!'.

Yes, I kind of feel like "who am *I* to think that *I*, of all people, could be okay?" Of course there is something so fundamentally wrong with me that any good a-ha moment I have could only be true for OTHER people, not for me.

Blah.

[BlueMoon6]

Tree- I think this is related. I have a terrible time second guessing myself. I think it might be related to wondering if an ah-ha moment is really an uh-oh moment.

I make a decision, like my decision, then think...uh-oh...this coild be the complete and total opposite of the direction I need to go in. I did the wrong thing, said the wrong thing. I have a feeling its related to not being able to trust my own perception of things. I was told "that didnt happen" "I never said that" "You did this" "you did that" when my perception was completely different and definitely NOT validated. I am a work in progress when it comes to trusting myself and how I perceive my own decisions and thought processes. I struggle with not needing validation for decisions/perceptions other people might take for granted.

I agree...blah.....but I say trust your AH-HA! It sounds good to me....Im going to validate your ah-ha....and I think everyone here will, too. You have gained some power and control over these horrid things that happened by living your life and knitting. And talking about all of it.

[ECHOES]

even worse, I feel like I am being silently and secretly laughed at for my ridiculous idea in the first place.
what we do to ourselves..*headslap*

[Sannah]

So it is like losing hope?

You were right, Tree. Trust yourself.

[Kiya]

((((((((((((((Tree))))))))))))) what does your gut tell you? right track? don't think it so much, listen to what your body says! it is your integral wisdom!