[sorrel]

How do you stop worrying so much about your therapist when it's a therapy break for several weeks, and you don't know where your therapist is, and there are disasters happening all over the world? What do you do? How do you cope? How do you stop obsessively checking the news? How do you even live?

[tryingtobeme]

Originally Posted by sorrel

How do you stop worrying so much about your therapist when it's a therapy break for several weeks, and you don't know where your therapist is, and there are disasters happening all over the world? What do you do? How do you cope? How do you stop obsessively checking the news? How do you even live?

Sorrel, this can be a very hard and difficult time when T is away. I try to do things that really like to do. It may be shopping, pampering yourself in some way, watching movies...etc. I also needed people around me more. I called several of my friends and made plans whenever I could with them to get me through the few weeks mine was gone.

I know it's hard, but I hope you can find something that you really like to do, or people to spend time with to help you know that you are still loved.

T's know this is hard for us, so I would certainly talk to them when they get back about this. Keep posting here when you can, and we can keep you company also. Take care, and please PM if you need/want too. I will be here with you.

[sorrel]

Thank you..

But "what if she doesn't come back?" It tortures me.

[WePow]

Sorrel, there is a reason you are worried about T. And there is always a chance that those we love and depend on - our parents or teachers or pastor or our T - will one day not be there for us - because something did happen to them or whatever the reason. This is a very human concern to have.

Can you look into this inside yourself right now and maybe journal your concerns?
What is it about this situation that reminds you of other situations where you felt this same worry or fear?
Can you allow yourself the right to be a little afraid - but in a healthy way?

Big hugs to you!!!!

[tryingtobeme]

Originally Posted by sorrel

Thank you..

But "what if she doesn't come back?" It tortures me.

I'm so sorry you feel she won't come back. She will be. As patients with T's, we have a hard time seeing/hearing them leaving for any period of time. We must trust that they will be back and understand that they did not leave b/c of something we did. Also, they have families of their own, they take vacations like we do, they have emergencies that come up just like we do. She will be back. I know that is hard to see right now but she will be back.

[sorrel]

Thank you.
I don't really have words right now. I'll reply properly later.

[rainbow8]

I understand too. I feel a lot of "what ifs" too -about life and death. We can lose people; it's true, but not likely that your T won't come back. I struggle with the same issues--when my Ts would go away or even if they didn't, I'd worry that something would happen and they would die.

I try not to think about it. My baby grandson is having open heart surgery next week. I'm very scared. We have to live life even with the "what ifs". I also suggest telling your T our fears. I think she could tell you where she is going on her vacation. Most Ts are open about that, if it would help alleviate your fears.

[Melbadaze]

sorrel, I think we just have to "be" wiith it, embrace the fear instead of battle it. Not easy I know, the feeling in the pit of ones gut isn't pleasant, but remember, FEAR = false evidence appearing real.

[ECHOES]

I have been with T for 3 years and still have the "what if she doesn't come back" thoughts when my T is away. And "what if she decides to retire while she is away".
It can make me feel panicky. I just have to remind myself that it is possible *and* it is out of my control. That these are just thoughts, nothing else. Sometimes I will humor myself with a ridiculous thought just to reinforce the idea that thoughts are just thoughts, and harmless: "What if she turns into a cat while she's away!" or something that will make me laugh.

It is also comforting to take the worry thought and think about what it means to me. It means that I care very much for my T, I care about her safety and her well-being. And it means that I value this relationship. And it means I must care about me, too, because I am allowing myself the thought of needing her and acknowledging the important place she has in my life.