waiting for T to call

I'm waiting for T to call. I hope she calls soon. I hardly ever call. But I had such an awful day. I feel like a complete failure and I still have to study for a final I have tomorrow. I don't know what T can do to make me feel better, but I hope she can do something. I feel so awful. I just want to hide so no one can see what a failure i am.

((((((((((( googley )))))))))))) Can you do something from your self-care list?
Not sure you have one, but my T had me make one. Something like taking a brisk walk or listening to a favorite song?

(((((((((((googley)))))))))))))

I hope she calls soon.

It's okay to not know exactly how she can help. Reaching out is good, and connecting is good.

What are you doing while you wait?? Is there anything nice you can do for yourself while you pass the time? You deserve nice things, no matter how you feel.

(((((((((((googley))))))))))))) I know before you recommended to me to take a bath and slip into comfy PJs. Can you do that? Is there anything else you like to do that feels good?

Everything's going to be okay. I know you will do great on your final.

I haven't called my T in a long time precisely because I hate the waiting period. He always responds by the end of the day but it's excruciating, sitting there staring at the phone - especially if you're really in crisis. I hope your T calls soon. In the meantime, maybe try to find a distraction, as others have suggested. Sometimes I resort to napping, which may not be the 'healthiest' way to cope - but it works. Another trick I use is to call someone else, usually the most talkative person I know, and talk to her for a long time. That way I don't feel so alone *and* the time passes quickly.

Googley - I'm sorry you had a bad day and are feeling awful.
I think it's good that you are reaching out to your T and on PC, even though you want to hide.
You are doing a great, and you can feel good about that.

T hasn't called yet so she probably isn't going to tonight. I did take a nap to try and calm down. Didn't help too much, but now I have to study. I hate tests!

Waiting is hard! Maybe she'll call when you least expect it! Can you do something you like to distract yourself?

(((((Googely)))) Im waiting with you...

You know, when I had to get the million or so papers together to see my lawyer I was in the WORST horrible mood and felt like a complete and total f*** up and I wanted to hide and binge and leave the planet.

Im wondering if the final has anything to do with how you are feeling? How are your exams going? I know when I was in college that was an unbelievably anxious time for me.

I only have one exam this semester, but it is for my hardest class. But that isn't what is causing my problem. Instead it is failure of an assignment for another class. I'm finally part way calmed down. But I feel like I'm consistently on the edge. I'm not going to study any more tonight. Instead I'm going to go to bed and try to get a good night sleep. I'm wondering if I should call my T and tell her not to call before my test tomorrow because I know I need to study more and don't want to bring everything up again. Maybe I will. But I'm somewhat disappointed that she didn't call back tonight. Well I guess I will continue to be good until at least after my test tomorrow. Then I can completely fall apart.

(((((((((((((Googley)))))))))))

Oh googley. I am so sorry it feels this way right now.

((((((((((googley))))))))))

sorry things are so tough right now. you are not a failure. we all fail at things now and then but we are not what we do. it's ok. you are doing a great job reaching out for help.

i'm sending you study vibes and confidence and feelings of competence!!!!
i believe in you googley, i believe you won't fail this test!!!
in fact, i wish there was some magic formula to help stop the anxiety, because i know if only you'd let yourself study without the anxiety interfering, you'd probably ace the exam! but, gosh, i dont have any magic pills - let me know if you do because i share the same exam dread you have.
it's difficult to keep one bad assignment from rotting away all our other study endeavours. austin-t gets me to rehearse all the good assignments though, all the times i've done well, and that helps me feel like i can maybe tackle one more exam.

i hope you're sleeping well now and will wake up refreshed and ready to face the day tomorrow . good luck sweetie.

Googley; I am sorry t did not call. That is so tough to have happen. I am sorry you are feeling sad. I am sending safe hugsand a good luck on your final..

Sounds like you're doing a good job of attending to what you need right now. Hope ou get some good sleep tonight and good luck with your exam tomorrow! I do hope that your therapist calls you back soon - I know how difficult it can be to wait.

Thank you everyone. I made it through my test today. Then got left behind by my "friends".

I finally was able to talk to T really late last night. I don't really know why I called her. It's not like she can do anything about it. I just felt stupid for wasting her time. I want to hide from the world until everyone forgets about me. Then nothing will matter.

(((((((((( Googley ))))))))))) You matter to me.

((((((((((googley)))))))))))

I'm glad you got to talk to T last night, and that you made it through your final. You matter to me, too, googley, and I know you matter to T as well. She wants you to be okay and that's why she called, to just remind you that she is there and that you will be okay.

I hear you talking to yourself this way and I wonder.. can you imagine how T would talk to you right now? What would she say if she heard you say, you feel stupid for wasting her time?

Thank you Jexa. Sometimes it is really hard to remember that people care about me. I feel so alone so much of the time. And it feels like I'm going to be that way for the rest of my life. And it would be better if I just accepted it.

I think that she would say that I wasn't wasting her time. That I needed to know there was someone who would listen. And it was good that I reached out.

(((((googley))))) I care about you. You are not alone. I know it feels like you are, I feel alone so much of the time too, but as long as we keep reaching out here and to our Ts and other people in our lives, we don't have to be totally alone. You aren't alone.

Googley: I hope you feel better soon. Keep reaching out and trying to connect. You are not alone. Maybe look to a book or some music for inspiration.

WePow: what is a self-care list? sounds like something interesting and helpful. please tell more.

Ahhhh, THERE is the Truth

You matter to me googley. Be gentle with you. Keep reaching out.

Hi Googley,

I'm glad you reached out too, and i care about you MUCH!!