[ECHOES]

http://blogs.psychcentral.com/unplug...tic-therapist/

This is one of Sonia Neale's more serious and tender blogs. It's about the therapy relationship and how it provides good mothering.
She mentions a narcissistic mother in the title, but I don't think it matters what the mother is labeled... absent, disinterested, depressed, misattuned, or any other way of being that interferes with the mothering that babies and children need to thrive.

I liked it and wanted to share it with you.

THANK YOU for sharing this. This is something that I've been coming to realize, especially over the past few days.

It's nice to see it put into words

[mixedup_emotions]

Thanks for sharing!

This touches a core issue that I'm dealing with at the moment.

When the going gets rough for me, he's always talking to me in that calm, soft, caring tone....And I just want to SCREAM "STOP TALKING TO ME LIKE THAT!!!!".....

Sometimes, his tone makes me melt....like someone truly cares about me....and other times, I feel angry and sick to my stomach by it....

Perhaps it's part of the gory inner workings of trying to reprogram what I'm used to with what's healthier for me - and I guess I'm resisting?

UGH.

[purple_fins]

thank you for sharing this

Thanks

[rainbow8]

I liked that very much, ECHOES. Thank you.

[zooropa]

thank you so much for this, echoes! Oddly enough, as I was driving today I was thinking about my relationship w/my T (well, that part's not so odd ) and how in so many ways she is mothering the little Zooey inside me in a way that is so nurturing and healing. I can FEEL that in a way I never felt before.

And then I came here, and read that article you linked to, and it just reinforced the whole thing even more.

that's my T. 100%. even today she asked me after i told her something if i got hurt and if i was ok
and she also gave me a new set of flashcards to help me study for the GED.

now, she just needs to take me home and adopt me and drop this dam T-thing

[purple_fins]

Originally Posted by Solarwind

now, she just needs to take me home and adopt me and drop this dam T-thing

LOL! you are so funny

[MissCharlotte]

Thank you Echoes. She is an eloquent writer and captures the relationship so well. I particularly liked that she said, "good-enough therapist" (like the "good enough mother").

Cheers!

[BlueMoon6]

Sigh...this was beautiful. Thank you, Echoes.

MUE- I am often SO embarrassed and feel so much shame about just what you said. I crave that soft voice, it melts me and makes me want to curl up and be a baby. But there is this awful side of me that wants to scream, "SHUT UP!" and someone talking to me like that makes me very LITERALLY sick to my stomach, too. What the heck is that about? I have no idea. Or maybe its my defense against being hurt and allowing yself to have a mother? I dont recall ever wanting my mother to be soft with me. I dont know but that reaction in me to softness causes me such shame.

[ECHOES]

(((MissC))) So good to see you I was thinking of you yesterday and wondering how you are doing.
I'm glad you liked the blog, too.

[Melbadaze]

Echoes, Yes so true.

[mixedup_emotions]

Originally Posted by BlueMoon6

Sigh...this was beautiful. Thank you, Echoes.

MUE- I am often SO embarrassed and feel so much shame about just what you said. I crave that soft voice, it melts me and makes me want to curl up and be a baby. But there is this awful side of me that wants to scream, "SHUT UP!" and someone talking to me like that makes me very LITERALLY sick to my stomach, too. What the heck is that about? I have no idea. Or maybe its my defense against being hurt and allowing yself to have a mother? I dont recall ever wanting my mother to be soft with me. I dont know but that reaction in me to softness causes me such shame.

Wow, Blue, I can't believe how EXACT your feelings mirror mine when it comes to this. What a relief that I am not alone....But I would like to figure it out....I wonder if I'll have to courage to address it with T...